"I'm not religious, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."

[More Than A Feeling]

Of all the ways that people deal with the stigma that the word "religion" bears, that's my least favorite. It causes the realization that I'm probably not going to be able to communicate with the person who says it, because their viewpoint is apparently in a different reality than mine. I have to wonder why the massive double-think required to make that statement doesn't make their heads explode.

This is a thread to post your least favorite religion-related things that people say.

[jgraz]

1. "Why Worry? God's in Charge!"

:banghead:

[msongs]

2. all the good things are god's will, all the bad things are your fault :-) nt

[muntrv]

3. "Jesus was an American."

[RC]

34. And he spoke english good too.

[Hepburn]

4. My classic one:

"I have chosen up Jesus...who is on your side?" :puke:

[anniebelle]

5. By the grace of god, there go I.

How arrogant a statement is that?

[pacalo]

8. I actually like that one, anniebelle.

When I use it, I say, "But for the grace of God, there go I", & it's usually said when I want someone to reflect on how it might be in someone else's shoes. "It could be you" is what I get out of it.

[anniebelle]

37. So, I get it, he loves me but, to hell with that poor slob?

[pacalo]

39. For me, it works hand-in-hand with "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

It does not mean "He loves me but not the other guy" for me; rather, it serves as an acknowledgment that it could very well be me in that situation & an appreciation of what it's like to be in that person's shoes.

[PassingFair]

42. EXCEPT that god is shining his grace on Y-O-U.

So it IS what that REALLY means.

[pacalo]

43. There's a negative & a positive to everything. I like my interpretation, but thanks for your view.

[pacalo]

6. "God told me..."

[Hepburn]

7. And....the one that makes me the ANGRIEST:

"I will pray for you."

Makes me feel like someone just spit on me! :grr:

[TlalocW]

15. Use that in a pre-emptive strike

If it pisses you off so much, just think if you were arguing with an evangelical Christian on some moral issue, and after they finished making some point, you looked at them with pity in your eyes and said, "I'll pray for you."

Usually, the weapons that other people try to use against you, are the weapons that they would find most devastating. This is especially true of fear (if someone tries to scare me with spiders, I know they're an arachnaphobe 9 times out of 10). It's probably the same in religion.

TlalocW

[cyborg_jim]

17. Highly insightful.

[Hepburn]

25. Exellent idea!

Thank you! However, I usually tell them I will go home and light some candles and cast a spell in their name. That usually shuts them up!

[TlalocW]

27. That works too

So now you have two things in your arsenal - frightening them into shutting up or pissing them off by making them believe they're less Christian than you.

Use these weapons wisely. :)

TlalocW

[Hepburn]

28. .....

Blessed be, my friend! :hi:

[TlalocW]

38. Thanks

I'll ask Poseidon not to drown you. :)

TlalocW

[Mojambo]

16. I always say, "Great. Can I get a unicorn?" n/t

[heidler1]

19. I see that one as a pretense of power or a one up gotcha.

[Rob H.]

29. Another comeback to use with that one

"Then I'll think for both of us." :evilgrin:

[northernsoul]

46. That's brilliant!

A bit snotty, but sometimes warranted.

:evilgrin:

[Az]

40. Depending on the situation

Ie if the theist was being nasty in any way. I respond to the "I will pray for you" with "Oh thanks, I will think for you." Usually confuses the daylights out of them.

[youngdem]

9. Oh man, how to choose.

1. When something horrible happens, saying "It must be in God's plan" or some such bullshit.

2. "Faith makes you stronger". How exactly?

3. "God doesn't like ugly", said by a wingnutter my SO worked with, usually said after she had done something insanely ugly herself, and confronted.

4. After someone is killed tragically (or comically), saying "God called him/her home."

5. "He died for your sins." Oh yeah? Bullshit. He died because he pissed off the powers that be in his day.

6. "God Bless America". Enough said.

7. "pro-life or Culture of Life" while simultaneously talking about the death penalty, killing 'rag heads', or spewing support for bombing the greater Middle East.

[mitchtv]

10. "Jesus/God is my copilot"

( Therefore , I don't have to drive like a human being)

[WHEN CRABS ROAR]

11. In god we trust.

On our money.

[heidler1]

20. It implies that I trust a non existing God because I'm hauling the saying around in my pocket.

[skids]

12. "You can't prove a negative"

Heheh. :hide:

[Mojambo]

13. Larry David:

"If God had had a daughter, I could have a personal relationship with a Jane."

[moobu2]

14. "God never gives you any more than you can handle"

and various forms thereof. That’s the stupidest one to me.


(sp)

[cosmik debris]

18. I used to have a friend who called me a "God Send"

because I helped him out so much. One day he called to ask for help and I told him I had to go to Austin and that he should ask God to send him someone else. I haven't heard from him in a LONG time. It's just as well.

[More Than A Feeling]

21. How much postage did you require?

Ok, that was stupid.:blush:

[cosmik debris]

23. God Has Franking Privileges.

Hell, even congressmen have franking privileges.

[AmandaRuth]

22. as many as 1 million

dead in Iraq, 1 million displaced outside of Iraq, and 1 million displaced inside in Iraq but

I'm not perfect, I'm just forgiven


I'm sorry but I have alot of anger directed toward the Evangelical movement that cheered bush on to this war.
And I heard an Evangelical leader on the radio once say the liberal movement has a lot to prove to the evangelicals,
I'm sorry but it seems to me that Evangelicals have alot ot prove to me about what being Christian means to them.

[northernsoul]

47. I've always found that to be profoundly arrogant

It's tantamount to admitting that the "grace of God" has allowed to you to abdicate all personal responsibility, while all others who have committed the grievous error of failing to become one of your co-religionists will suffer infinite torment for our pettiest transgression. Nothing so grotesque could possibly be true.

[theredpen]

24. Religion bears a stigma?

[More Than A Feeling]

26. The word "religion" does.

You see it both in the sentiment that titles my post, and the "I'm spiritual, but not religious" mentality.

[theredpen]

35. Ah! Thanks for the clarification. n/t

[varkam]

32. Well, only if you're Catholic, apparently. eom

[theredpen]

36. What does that mean? n/t

[JeffreyWilliamson]

30. My least favorite has got to be...

"The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God."

So there, if you don't believe the same as me you are a fool. Because you know, who wants to be called a fool and all, so join up and avoid people calling you that.

[More Than A Feeling]

31. Well, the good news is, according to the bible, the bible is going to hell

for having that verse in it:

Matthew 5:22: But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

[Az]

33. Hate the sin love the sinner

I have never seen this phrase used in a way that was not meant to try to conceal intolerance.

[northernsoul]

45. I agree

It's collosal evasion of the necessary consequences of their beliefs. Personally, I have no idea how you can form any judgments about a person's character other than by judging their conduct. If I believe that kitten-juggling is a profound moral wrong and that kitten-jugglers should be severely sanctioned for their wrong-doing, I should have the courage of my convictions to admit that I hate kitten-jugglers.

[cosmik debris]

41. Jesus Loves You

My response: "No thanks, I'm not gay. (pause) Not that there is anything wrong with that."

[Evoman]

44. A couple of things:

1. B..b..but Jesus loved you so much he gave his only son.

FUCKING BULLSHIT. Wow..good for you god. You let your son die, and now you get to spend the rest of eternity with him in the bless that is heaven. Wow, what a fucking sacrifice.

2. God lifted me...

No he didn't. He just brought everybody down so you could look like you were lifted.

3. God works in mysterious ways.

No he doesn't. It ain't that mysterious if you pretend that maybe he is fucking crazy. Or get this...that he doesn't even exist. It makes sense then.

4. Not so much a saying, but I hate hate hate hate that stupid poem about how god is walking on the beach, but his footprints aren't there during the hardest times in your life. No, god wasn't carrying you, he just got sick of your fucking whining and went to check in to see what Jessia Alba was up to.

Evoman tired. He go bed now.