Have you ever avoided reading something...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

A letter, an email, anything...

To keep from being upset by the memories it might inspire?

Just wonderin'...

[AsahinaKimi]

1. I have tried that...

Then it nags at you, and nags at you, until you finally read it. Sometimes its not as bad as you think,
other times..its as expected. At least with email, you can delete it completely.. with letters...they always
sit in the garbage until you dump it out.

I hate stuff like that.. Just for once I would like a stress free day!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear AsahinaKimi...

Yeah, I hear you...

You ideally need to be in the right sort of place to do it.

I'd like a stress free day too...

[zanne]

55. I've received a few soul-killing letters in my day...

Especially the few I received from family members who, long ago, did not approve of my lifestyle and wrote to let me know exactly what they thought of me, which wasn't good. It hurt me badly, and since then, the same people who once condemned me have done exactly what I did way back when. I don't throw it in their faces, but I've kept the letters. I hate to admit it, but someday, if I need to, I'll take them out again and read their letters back to them.

[handmade34]

2. CaliforniaPeggy, I used to, not anymore.

I have made peace and all my memories are precious. It's a process though

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear handmade34...

It certainly is a process.

I could not do it tonight...

I'm glad you've made peace with your precious memories...

I have yet to do that...

Thank you.

[handmade34]

7. When I returned to school

...in my late 30's, one of my first classes required a autobiography of sorts. I had so many painful memories still, that I dropped out of the class rather than confront them. I do not know the exact turning point or what caused it specifically but part was taking care of my husband, knowing he was dying and being with him throughout the process. My memories are precious because they are me, not because they are endearing. You will find your time

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. Thank you for sharing this.

I cannot even imagine how painful and terrifying that must have been for you...

I may, or may not, find my time...

Time will tell.

[mix]

3. love letters past...I never keep them

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear mix...

I only had a few.

Some days I wish I'd kept them...

[Skittles]

9. lol......Peggy

I met up with a guy I dated over 30 years ago - I told him he had written me snarky letters when he was away at pilot training and he denied it - well I handed him the letters for him to read for himself :rofl:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. My dear Skittles!

Lol indeed!

You showed him!

:rofl:

[grasswire]

11. sure

One particular letter sat unopened for fifteen years. I finally threw it away without reading it. I knew it would be rude and angry, and I never wanted to experience it. I could forgive the writer if I had never read it.

Oh, and I assume you didn't mean letters from the IRS.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. My dear grasswire!

Nope, I didn't mean letters from the IRS!

I'm not sure I could have ignored a letter for 15 years...

Good for you!

[hunter]

16. I had a few bad years where I left letters from the IRS unopened.

Even scary looking letters I signed for! (Depression sucks, BTW.)

Anything at all that looked like it might be related to taxes I threw into a banker's box.

Eventually the box filled up, the IRS got more and more insistent, I got my meds sort of right, and I gathered up the courage to take the box to an accountant who was supposed to be good at that sort of thing. I paid him a lot of money up front, probably not enough to pay his wages, but maybe enough to pay an assistant to sort through all the crap. Miraculously he produced tax returns without me ever having to look at anything in the box.

I got money back from the IRS too, more than I paid the guy! :woohoo:

If there's any lesson to be learned (maybe not a good lesson) it's that you can always pay someone to open your toxic mail.

[Inchworm]

12. Every day

;)

:*

[CaliforniaPeggy]

14. My dear Inchworm...

Thank you, sweetie...

;)

:*

[david13]

15. Yes. I have 2 pm's on this forum. Not yet. It's been 3 weeks. dc

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. My dear david13...

Whew. 3 weeks? The folks who PM'd you have probably figured out that you'll never answer...

I've had that happen to me too...

[david13]

34. My dear CaliforniaPeggy, I would like to ask you to refer to me

as something other than my dear. You are just too kind.
Let me try to make suggestions, you dirty, no, you weaselly, no, you freakin', no, ah, how about alley cat, you scruffy grey alley cat ...
something like that? But something that shows your imagination.
dc

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

17. No, I'm the opposite Peggy

I read and re-read and ruminate and feel guilty and sad and beat the shit out of myself mentally. I envy people who can just ignore things that might be painful to them.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

19. My dear theNotoriousP.I.G....

I'm the same way...

I read, and re-read, and cry, and feel awful...

And then I have to walk away, and hope to feel better some other day.

Ignoring is not how I operate.

:hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. everything. all the time. except for regular bills and something I know is from

someone that I want to hear from. the rest of it...Fuck it. It can wait.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

21. My dear Tuesday Afternoon!

That's the spirit!

Fuck 'em...

It can wait, indeed!

:pals:

[av8rdave]

22. Never have....though when I was going through my divorce I didn't feel like watching Mrs Doubtfire

[CaliforniaPeggy]

23. My dear av8rdave...

Of course...

I hadn't even considered other forms of communication...

I hope you're all healed from that now, sweetie...

:hug:

[av8rdave]

25. Thanks, Peggy...

Completely healed. That was a long, long time ago. I could even watch that movie if I were so inclined!

[jobycom]

24. Do responses in GD count? nt

[CaliforniaPeggy]

26. My dear jobycom!

But of course!

:P

[GoCubsGo]

30. I avoid some of those, too...

Mainly the ones involving child and animal abuse. I don't need the nightmares I get after I read them.

[latebloomer]

27. No, I'm the type that wants to hear the worst

rather than wonder about it. Just read it and move on, that's what works for me.

:hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

40. My dear latebloomer!

What courage!

Good for you!

:hi:

[Inspired]

28. Not for that specific reason but I did stop reading a good book cuz it was too frightening.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

39. My dear Inspired...

That's a good reason...

Did you ever finish it?

:hi:

[Inspired]

54. No, I was too spooked.

It was The Witching Hour by Anne Rice. I can't tell you why it bothered me so much but I had to stop reading it. I've never been tempted to finish it.

It's weird because I've read other scary books, seen many scary movies. There was just something about this book I guess that hit a nerve.

[taterguy]

29. I never open letters from the IRS

Hope I'm not missing anything important

[CaliforniaPeggy]

38. My dear taterguy!

They would never have anything important to say!


Would they?:scared:



:P

[pitohui]

31. of course we all have

if you don't wanna, you don't gotta

do what your inner bell tells you, i trust your wisdom this time of century frankly

[CaliforniaPeggy]

37. My dear pitohui...

Sooner or later, I do have to...

[Taverner]

32. Happens every time I get my credit card bill...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

36. My dear Taverner!

:P

Now, you made me smile!

[Taverner]

43. Then my work here - is through...

[RFKHumphreyObama]

33. Sort of

I must concede that reading Senator Kennedy's memoirs will be touch and go for me. Whenever I open them and get a sense of his warmth, compassion and empathy that comes through the flow of his words, it will probably be quite painful for me at times and I'll have to stop. But then again the parts I have read have been so fascinating and well-written that it will probably keep me hooked -he led such an interesting life

Since my mother's passing a few years ago, I've had mixed emotions when coming across letters written by her and audio recordings with her voice on it. At times I want to hear her voice and to read her words and remember her warmth, love and vivaciousness. At other times it is still too painful for me and when it catches you unprepared, it can be devastating. A while back, I found a book on my shelf and innocently opened it and a postcard popped out written by my mother while she was on vacation in the Vatican. It was so full of life and cheerful and, since I was caught totally unprepared for it, it just really made me sad

[CaliforniaPeggy]

35. My dear RFKHumphreyObama...

Oh, I understand you so well...

It's the unexpected that is so hard to defend yourself against...

My condolences...:hug:

[BuelahWitch]

41. Right now I am happy that we won't be getting mail tomorrow

My graded test from my grant proposal writing class is likely in Tuesday's mail and I am not looking forward to opening that letter. I hope it's just my usual unwarranted negativity kicking in...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

42. My dear BeulahWitch!

Oh, that's right...

Tomorrow's Columbus Day!

No mail.

I hope that Tuesday's mail will pleasantly surprise you!

:hi:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

44. I avoided reading "Little Women"...

...because I literally felt that it was a book about little women, you know...maybe a foot tall in height, evil, brandishing Chinese throwing stars and nunchucks and they would lower themselves into your room by a slender thread at midnight and sever your penis with a razor-sharp knife and exit the room laughing as you lay sobbing and in agony.

Of course, I feel the same way about ALL of my ex-girlfriends, and they are ALL over 12" tall.

I'm sorry...what was your question again? I seem to have been distracted.

:rofl:

:toast:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

48. My dear Amerigo Vespucci!

Ah, you were distracted!

I command you to read "Little Women." It's a classic book, and NOT just for girls!

:P

:toast:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

52. ONLY if you promise me that NO HARM will come to Little 'rigo.

I'm sorry, I can just see the closet foor opening a crack, and the little women filing out in a line, and the little one at the front is holding a Ginsu knife...

:scared:

:eyes:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

53. I Promise!

No harm to Little 'rico!

No Ginsu knives, anywhere!




*evil chortle*





;-)

[Moondog]

45. Yes. n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

49. Ah, my dear Moondog...

:hug:

[triguy46]

46. Yes. Emails from one of my sisters. I let them age for a week or so...

then forward to my wife for her to evaluate.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

50. My dear triguy46...

Now, that sounds like an excellent plan!

:hi:

[hunter]

47. I'd throw all my mail in the trash unopened if I thought I could get away with it.

It's rare I find anything good in there.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

51. You have my complete sympathies, my dear hunter...

Same here.

:hug:

[Paper Roses]

56. I am avoiding the task of reading the Medicare info about supplements.

It has been sitting on my coffee table for a month. I avoid it because I have no idea what to do. I am on Social Security and have very little left after expenses and want to make a decision as to the correct type of supplement to choose or if I shgould do without.

So many have found out that they have chosen the wrong policy. Whatever they have chosen is either too expensive or does not cover what they expected. It is a crap game.

Facing this reminds me of my youth or something, I don't know what. Somehow things were easier years ago. Maybe I just had more energy then. This should be a simple task but I find it scary.

Maybe it is because I am alone now and frightened of the future.

[raccoon]

57. Yes. I have a niece who has sent me and other family members mean, snarky,

hateful emails.

I no longer open emails from her. It's been years since I've received one, but if I get another, I wouldn't read it.

If she wants to contact me, she can do f2f or telephone.

It's way too easy for people to be an asshole in a letter or email.

[JonLP24]

58. General Discussion forum

I avoid that place on a daily basis. Sometimes when I log in from the home page I see something under latest threads that catches my eye and I'm sucked in all day. :crazy: :scared:

GD is useful for good information but I try my best to avoid the flame-war-of-the-day. :hide:

[Tikki]

59. Some here may understand this, some not....

Maybe seven or so years after no contact...my mother writes me.
I read the letter...it made absolutely no sense in this or any parallel world.

Next three or four letters that came to my mail box from her (over a year or so)...I dropped in the garbage can...unopened.

No more letters came after that.
No regrets.


Tikki