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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:51 PM
Original message
I just lost a friend to suicide today.
Edited on Thu Mar-01-07 11:05 PM by Scooter24
And it really hurts to know that I'll never get that chance to know him better.

Such a charismatic and funny boy with lots of friends and a loving family.


I feel like I just got the wind knocked out of me :cry: I also feel a bit angry at him for leaving his family and friends the way he did. And I feel ashamed at that.


RIP Bradlie
1985-2007
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
1. that's not right it's very sad, please accept our condolences...
:cry: :hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:54 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Thanks...
I've been on the phone all evening with friends. We're all a bit shocked.

:hug:
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Whoa_Nelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:53 PM
Response to Original message
2. that is so sad.
:hug: for you
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:58 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. thanks...
:hug:

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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:53 PM
Response to Original message
3. Oh man, Scooter... many hugs to you....
I hope you know it's ok to feel all those things, to hurt and to be angry at him for leaving... :hug: :hug: Much love and many hugs to everyone who knew and loved him.
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:59 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. thank you...
And I feel bad for his best friends. They are just crushed.

I think I'll be turning in early tonight. I just needed to get it out of my system.

Thanks DU.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:55 PM
Response to Original message
5. Very sorry to hear this.
:hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #5
16. ...
:hug:
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #16
21. Geeze, what a great looking kid.
I had a few friends in high school blow themselves away. We thought it was normal where I come from. Stuffed all the horror of it deep inside and drank our way through it.

I'm really sorry, man.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 10:58 PM
Response to Original message
7. I believe your feelings are entirely normal.
Try to remember that Bradie himself wouldn't have considered leaving his family and friends unless he was in unbearable pain, and you will be able to forgive him in time. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #7
17. I know...
:cry:

Thanks.

:hug:
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 11:29 AM
Response to Reply #7
65. crim son, I have never forgiven my mother...
..21 years later.

I just wanted you to know that.

Time does not, necessarily, heal all wounds.


Scooter24... :hug:



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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 11:57 AM
Response to Reply #65
67. I am sorry, KC2.
You are right, some wounds are too deep.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #67
68. I'm sorry...
..I hadn't had my coffee yet...
stayed up too late last night.
I shouldn't have posted that,
or even posted. :hug:
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #68
72. But you are absolutely right.
Don't be sorry. :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
9. What a short life! How terrible!
I am sooo sorry! :hug: Suicide is one of those un-understandable things (if you'll parden the bad English). I'll pray for you and his family and other friends!
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #9
18. thank you.
:hug:
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
10. Hug to you, Scooter24


:hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #10
19. ...
:hug:
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:28 PM
Response to Reply #19
27. We lost someone to suicide. Try to be kind to you no matter
how you feel or what you think.

:hug:
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reyd reid reed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:03 PM
Response to Original message
11. It's sad when that happens...
Tragic doesn't even fit...it's beyond that. We had a family member who committed suicide several years back and it felt like someone yanked a rug out from under us. When I got the call, I had to ask the caller to repeat herself -- it was just inconceivable.

You do go through a combination of grief and guilt and frustration and anger...it's a normal reaction so don't feel ashamed of it. I went through the same thing. And all the 'what if's' and the 'if only's. In the end, they don't change anything and they make you feel even worse, so try not to fall into that trap. And it is a trap.

I'm sorry for your pain...and for his.



:hug::hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #11
20. dupe
Edited on Thu Mar-01-07 11:15 PM by Scooter24
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #11
22. ...
:hug:
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Ptah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:03 PM
Response to Original message
12. That's very sad news, Scooter24.


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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #12
23. ...
:hug:
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Nicole Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
13. I'm so sorry
:hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #13
24. ...
:hug:
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elfrangel Donating Member (661 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
14. So sorry for your loss....
:hug: to you and the family.
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #14
25. thank you so much
:hug:
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
15. I'm very sorry
My condolences to you. :hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #15
26. thank you
:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:33 PM
Response to Original message
28. My dear Scooter24............
It is a huge loss, and you and your friends have my deepest condolences as you work through this......

I know you're hurting.......My brother-in-law shot himself a couple of years ago, and it took a long time to recover from it.........

:hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:37 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. Peggy
thanks ever so much. I can't imagine how his best friends and family are going through this.

Your thoughts are very welcomed :)

:hug:
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:35 PM
Response to Original message
29. I lost a friend to suicide earlier this year.
I feel your pain, and I'm sorry.

I think back to the innocence of our childhood, and I can't imagine that this would ever happen.

When I felt angry at my friend for this, as you are, I had to keep in mind that I wasn't mad at him. I was mad at what he did and how it made me feel. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at someone that, for whatever reason, felt like there was no other way. To me, it felt like I was piling on, and how could I possibly relate to the feelings of someone that took his own life?

Again, I'm sorry. 1985...he was 22.

22
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:41 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. thank you...
It's just that when I found out the news, I just sat here thinking "why?"

So many question's left unanswered.

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The Traveler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:36 PM
Response to Original message
30. Aw, hell
I'm sorry, bud. I know this feels bad.
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:42 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. thank you
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:43 PM
Response to Original message
34. Scooter, I'm sorry you lost your friend.
And please know that everything you are feeling, including the anger, is a very normal response to suicide. I've lost several people to suicide, so I do understand.

I wish you peace and healing.

:hug:
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. Thanks SeattleGirl
He was very well loved.

:hug:
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Broken_Hero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:48 PM
Response to Original message
36. I'm very sorry for your loss,
I understand the road you are on, I lost a very good friend of mine to suicide, back in 91...it was devastating. That year alone, we lost...4 people.
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:48 PM
Response to Original message
37. oh no
Sorry to hear that. :hug:
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S n o w b a l l Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-01-07 11:50 PM
Response to Original message
38. I'm so sorry...
I can't even begin to tell you how this tears at my heart. That picture...so full of life. He must have been in such pain. It's so very sad. As someone who's been there, I can understand the reasons. I hope you and his family can forgive him but the anger is normal.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.
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judaspriestess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:31 AM
Response to Original message
39. I'm so sorry
I lost a boyfriend to suicide when we were 18 years old. Can you believe 18 years old? It was tragic.
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devilgrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:37 AM
Response to Original message
40. I'm very sorry for your loss.
:hug:
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lavenderdiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:41 AM
Response to Original message
41. oh no, Scooter
I'm so very sorry to hear this news. Your friend, Bradlie was so young, but must have been in so much pain to choose this path. My heartfelt condolences to you and his family. All of you will be in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:

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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:44 AM
Response to Original message
42. Two years ago, one of my son's friends killed himself
He was 14, popular, athletic, smart, funny, and from the outside he looked like he had everything going for him. He seemed like a pretty happy kid.

Obviously, he had some deep dark things he was wrestling with, that he was not sharing with others about.

I am so sorry for your loss, and totally understand your anger.

:hug:

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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:48 AM
Response to Original message
43. I'm so sorry, Scooter24
Please don't be ashamed of the way you feel. It's part of the grieving process - it's quite shocking and confusing when someone such as you described - one who seems to have it all - takes their own life.



:hug:
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rockymountaindem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 01:05 AM
Response to Original message
44. My condolences n.t.
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gemdem Donating Member (975 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 01:11 AM
Response to Original message
45. Sorry for your loss.
:hug:
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 01:38 AM
Response to Original message
46. I'm so sorry.
That is terrible. But we're here for you.
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rumpel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 02:28 AM
Response to Original message
47. So young...
I am so sorry. What a shock it must be for you and your friends and his family.

:grouphug:
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QMPMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 02:35 AM
Response to Original message
48. I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you.
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UrbScotty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 02:57 AM
Response to Original message
49. Words can't explain it, can they?
:hug:
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liberal renegade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 07:21 AM
Response to Original message
50. I am so sorry for your loss, Scooter
Edited on Fri Mar-02-07 07:28 AM by tenaciousradical
I know how you feel as I lost a 19 year old nephew to suicide on Valentines Day. He died of an apparent broken heart. A 4.0 student at the University of Colorado at Boulder, a member of Denver Taiko, a world traveler, a great big loving family and everything to live for.

Not in a million years would I have ever imagined such a gifted young man taking his own life.

www.denvertaiko.org
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 07:24 AM
Response to Original message
51. don't be ashamed about that anger.
a friend of mine killed himself when we were in high school. I was angry too. It's a normal reaction. :grouphug:
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 07:33 AM
Response to Original message
52. I'm so sorry...
I lost a friend to suicide about 10 years ago. It's so tragic. I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope he's
at peace. :hug:
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 07:39 AM
Response to Original message
53. I am so sorry that he felt so hopeless ... it really gets to me because I suffered from depression .
He was very handsome. He looked so full of life in that picture. I am so sorry for the lost of your friend :hug: 21 22 years old, he was just a baby.
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seemunkee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 08:11 AM
Response to Original message
54. I"m so sorry
You have my most sincere condolences. The demons that haunted your friend are gone now, may he rest in peace.

I know what you are going through, had it happen a couple of times.
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 08:16 AM
Response to Original message
55. What a beautiful boy...My heart breaks for you and Bradlie's family
I'm so sorry.


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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
56. I'm so sorry
He was so young, such a sad thing.

I lost a friend to suicide when I was 18 (she was 20). I know how painful and confusing it can be. My friend also left behind a young daughter. It takes a long time to sort all the emotions you will be feeling.

:hug:
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Drum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
57. I am sorry, Scooter24.
:hug:
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Bassic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
58. So young....
I'm very sorry for your loss. :(
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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 09:53 AM
Response to Original message
59. I'm sorry.
He must have been in terrible emotional pain to do that. :hug:
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
60. I am so sorry for your loss.
What a terrible tragedy.

:hug:
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Mad_Dem_X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 10:08 AM
Response to Original message
61. So, so sorry
Edited on Fri Mar-02-07 10:09 AM by Mad_Dem_X
My heart goes out to this young man's friends and family...this kind of situation is especially tragic, I know. :cry: :hug:

ETA: Your feelings are completely normal. Feelings of anger are unstandable.
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Connonym Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 10:23 AM
Response to Original message
62. I am so sorry
for your loss. Anger is a normal reaction to suicide so please don't add to your sorrow by feeling guilty for that emotion. :hug:
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driver8 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 10:33 AM
Response to Original message
63. Scooter, I am so sorry...
Losing a friend is hard enough; losing one to suicide is even worse.

So sorry for your loss.
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RFKHumphreyObama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 11:12 AM
Response to Original message
64. Words are inadequate at this time but they are all I have
Edited on Fri Mar-02-07 11:15 AM by socialdemocrat1981
My deepest and most sincere thoughts, prayers, condolences and sympathies to you and to Bradlie's family and friends. This is so sad:hug: :hug:

It is natural to experience the kind of emotions you are going through at the moment. It's nothing to be ashamed of -it is part of the grieving process. I know that it is never easy for the ones left behind and once again my deepest and sincerest thoughts, prayers, condolences and sympathies are extended to you, Bradlie's family and his friends :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
66. I'm really sorry, Scooter24.
I know it hurts.

:hug:
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:23 PM
Response to Original message
69. How sad. I'm sorry for your loss, Scooter.
What you are feeling is totally normal, btw. Anger is a big one to deal with when suicides happen. Please don't beat yourself up for your feelings. :hug:

It's heartbreaking to hear stories of young people commiting suicide. They have so much of their lives left ahead. If only he knew that whatever he was going through would shift. It always does...

May Bradlie's soul find Peace.
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Raffi Ella Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 12:25 PM
Response to Original message
70. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend...
he must have been in so much pain to have made such a final decision...
My heart goes out to anyone who is in that place,very very sad.
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noonwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
71. I'm sorry, I know how you feel, I lost a friend to suicide in high school
He killed himself on Pearl Harbor Day in 1981. It was also the day before the first anniversary of John Lennon's death. I always associate the Lennon memorials every year and the Pear Harbor memorials with my friend's death. It's also one of the main events that led me to my career working with kids.
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Giant Robot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
73. My deepest sympathies to you and all he touched
I can perfectly understand why you would be angry and hurt by his decision to kill himself. I would be more worried about you if you did not feel that at some point. I hope you find what you need here and with your loved ones during this time.

If I may offer you a suggestion, at this point, a lot of people,maybe you, will be trying to figure out why he did this. The reality is that only one person will know for sure, and he is gone now. Just stay with each other, support each other, and feel angry, hurt, whatever now. Save the whys for later. Trying to figure out why right now will only get in your way.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
74. So sorry.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 02:58 PM
Response to Original message
75. ugh so sad
:cry:
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Madspirit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
76. I am SO sorry.
That just sucks.
Lee
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Paladin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
77. Don't Be Ashamed Of Your Mixed Emotions On This

The half grieved/half angry state of mind is a completely normal and understandable reaction to a suicide. I know from personal experience.

Sorry for your loss.
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KatyaR Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-02-07 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
78. Tomorrow is the 15-year anniversary of the death of one of the
best friends I've ever had. His suicide knocked me back so hard that I'm still recovering from it today. Suicide is a horrible thing for everyone involved.

Hugs to you, Scooter--I'm so very, very sorry. :hug:
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