"Folk Song" - by Bongwater

[benburch]

Folk Song

- by Bongwater

I met an anarchist in Tompkins Square Park. He was an angry man spinning words so dark. He called for death to rich men. Death to yuppies too. Death to art fags, bourgeois, blacks. Death to landlord Jews. Kill the bankers. Kill the cops. Kill him, her, and me. Kill them all for CBS, NBC, ABC, TBN, CNN, HBO, Live at five, MTV Spring Break, Sally Jessie Raphael, Geraldo, Oprah, Arsenio, Regis and Kathie Lee.

And I said, "Hey, I admire your get-up-and-go, your youthful brooding and sexually-charged enthusiasm, and all your other utterly naive and thoroughly endearing adolescent qualities, and I bet you can keep it up all night, can't you? But I'll bet you dont even use a rubber. No you don't even use a rubber- no you don't even use a rubber- No! You don't even use a rubber- cuz ya, think you're gonna live forever.

Or you have this adorable and misguided notion that death is something really radical and cool, but I still can be wildly attracted to your fresh-faced, uncompromised-tattooed-rebel stance, and goddamn I'd like to have you sing your tune. But I've been making friends with this here death, and it seems a mite too soon. And I said, "Hello death, goodbye Avenue A." Im getting tired of waiting, tired of being afraid. Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved. So I say, "Hello death, goodbye Avenue A."

(Now I'm not trying to be flippant here, or irreverent, or exploitive, or sarcastic, or ironic, or post-modern, and this is not a parody. Get it? Got it? Good.)

I've been thinking what he told me, that it's okay to cry. When we held the crystal Tina Chow spent 12 grand to buy. Homeopathic mantras, fresh-squeezed wheat grass juice. Doctors up in Bellevue. Doctor Salk and Seuss. And it's time we'll all be going home if you can find the way. Yes, everyone is going home, going home to stay. And it's time we find a way to cope; a way to find some hope. For some it's the Bible, or Buddha, or Mohammed, or Krishna, or cheesecake, or bourbon, or the Butthole Surfers, or some Giorgio Armani or Romeo Gigli, and you really can't afford it but it looks so fabulous on you, so why dont you take it on home and speaking of home, isn't it about time you moved out of that East Village hell-hole you know the one with the Honeymooner's view of the brick wall out the window because you deserve something more life-affirming like a tree or a flower, or a patch of grass, or a singing little bluebird, or maybe you just want to take your boyfriend to Europe becuase he's never been, or quit the job you always hated, or learn how to play the guitar -- it's easy -- or get obscenely drunk in a piano bar and sing show tunes, SHOW TUNES, and don't be embarrassed, because, at this point, I'd rather see Brigadoon than Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. Or maybe you'd like to get politically active, so you disrupt a Presidential press conference by shoving a five-pound week-old stalk of broccoli between those thin lying lizard lips, no one can read anyway because half the country is illiterate, and the other half is apathetic- including the First Lady who couldn't step just 500 feet from the overly-decorated White House to visit the goddamn quilt, or maybe you'd like to put a bullet into Jesse Helms pea brain. But you know when you start thinking like that, when you start thinking like they do, then it's time to let go of the material world. So maybe you'd just like to get yourself some religion. Cuz Jesus is the way, Jesus is the way, Jesus is the way, Jesus is the way, Jesus is the way

...besides it's a lot easier to accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior when he looks like Willem Dafoe.

But maybe that stuff turns you off so you rent Power of Myth (made me feel really good for about ten minutes.) Or maybe you'd just rather do acid and listen to Led Zepplin...

Then again, the last time I took hallucinogenic drugs was about five years ago. I took mushrooms in Joshua Tree looking for that Carlos Castanedas kind of experience. I got off my, boyfriend didn't, he fell asleep, and left me alone with the television. I turned it on, and put on PBS. You know what was on? Berlin Alexanderplatz. So I started watching it, and you know what? I got really bummed-out.

And thats when I said, "No to drugs! No to drugs! No-no-no-no-no-no-HELL NO to drugs!!" And maybe you want to say, "No to drugs!" too. Or maybe you just want to join Atheists of America, the Madonna Fanclub, or watch Richard Gere follow the Dalai Lama across the world, and then do those oh-so-zen-like movies with those oh-so-zen-like messages, like, "Hey! It's fun to be a prostitute! I can't wait to spread my legs across Hollywood Blvd, because then maybe some rich, handsome, billionaire in a Jag will come driving up and take me shopping on Rodeo Dr." and that's what a woman's all about anyway, right? sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping -- comeon, it's a sing-along! -- Sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping, sucking and shopping... But, hey, who am I to argue? Cuz it's the feel good movie of the summer, it's the feel good movie of the year, it's the feel good movie of the 90's. Its the feel good movie of the millenium, and you know what? If it puts a smile on your face, and a song in your heart, and a spring in your step, well, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you happy, whatever gives you hope...

...even if its a truly tasteless joke.

So fax a manifesto; pencil in a date; let me know when something gives. I hope it's not too late. Cuz I'm getting tired of waiting; tired of being afraid. Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved. So I say, "Hello death, goodbye Avenue A, hello death, goodbye Avenue A, hello death, goodbye Avenue A, hello death, goodbye Avenue A"

[swag]

1. "Nick Cave dolls? They have those? I want one!"

Power of Pussy is such a good record.

"Obscene and Pornographic Art" was another favorite song.

[bbernardini]

2. Kramer is a genius.

Anne's okay, but Kramer is really where it's at for me.

[benburch]

3. But I don't want to make love to Kramer...

:evilgrin: