Hey guys, if your fiance ran off, would you still want to marry her?

[tinfoilinfor2005]

I just heard that the "runaway bride" said the wedding is still on. Would a guy really want to take that chance?

[ooglymoogly]

1. fugedaboudit....she's sausage

[mzmolly]

2. Lord, get rid of that chick. She's disurbed to be certain.

Did anyone hear that fake 911 call?! EGAAAADZ!

[ogradda]

3. He'd have to be totally crackerjacks to go for that.

Talk about public humiliation....

[Roland99]

4. Dude deserves whatever he has coming

That chick sets the Evil and Insane factor off the scales!

[wtmusic]

6. xactly

someone needs to learn a hard, hard lesson.

[mhr]

5. Dump Her Dude - If She Did It Once She Will Do It Again!

eom

[ogradda]

7. She handles problems how again?

Better not live in a community property state.

[tammywammy]

8. Not until a year's worth of therapy, alone and as a couple

There are obviously things that they need to work out. And for the real wedding, I'd elope in Vegas or a simple ceremony with a Justice of the Peace, not some stupid huge wedding.

[WindRavenX]

10. I second this

People, under stress, will do things out of their nature.
If they love each other, they will find a way to work things out.
Cases like this are PRECISELY why I plan to elope in Vegas. And I'm DEAD serious. I'm sick of these pyscho weddings and "bride-zillas" or whatnot- I just want to have FUN! :D

[tammywammy]

13. Exactly

I don't necessarily want to elope, but I would want something small, just family and close friends. 600+ people, really, how many of those people do you really know?

Small and simple and fun. That's what I want. And seriously, is 14 bridesmaids really necessary? My brother and SIL had 2 each (her sister and me, and my brother's two best friends). That's all you need. My SIL said, there were so many people there, and she didn't know half of them. They were parents friends and such, and really they don't need to be there.

[susanna]

22. You can have a good, fun, lovely non-psycho wedding.

Sounds like Miss Runaway Bride overestimated her coping capacity,
which strikes me as odd; she seems like the type who would have researched her wedding before planning it.

If she had, absolutely every "how-to" wedding manual I looked at while planning my wedding said the same thing: "decide on the wedding that suits you...and don't let anyone talk you into making it bigger or glitzier or fancier. Stick to your guns."

I mean seriously - you don't just wake up one morning and say, "I invited HOW many people?"

[WindRavenX]

23. I just don't want a wedding

I dislike the idea that it's a "giving away" the bride to the man. I also think it's kinda creepy.
My ideal "wedding" would be :
-Eloping in Vegas with partner
-having a private blessing with a Justice of the Peace with my partner and I
-and then throwing a CASUAL PARTY for EVERYONE- family, friends, whatever. The key is casual- open bar and food and music. That's it. Just a celebration and not a big ass psycho party where I have to be the center of attention.

[susanna]

43. I didn't want a wedding, either.

I was the "elope" side of the equation, and would have been perfectly happy with that. My family wanted a simple wedding, and I took their thoughts into account, albeit disagreeing. My husband has a more traditional family, and they definitely wanted a wedding.

After talking about it for a long time, just the two of us, we agreed on a simple wedding with RULES. It will be X people, X time, X type of food, etc. In the end, the compromise worked for us. I am still surprised how well it all turned out. I am glad I did it, because it made our families happy without causing us undue hardship or stress. We enjoyed the day a great deal, looking back.

And no one "gave me away." Dad walked me up the aisle, but the "giving away" part of the ceremony was not done per my request.

edited Subject line for clarity

[tammywammy]

33. Yeah but these were "well known" families

I can see where the mom suddenly starts taking over everything. Or a guilt trip "oh honey, you must invite the Smith's...they're your father's boss's 2nd cousin's brother and sister-in-law, and we just have to invite them.

[susanna]

41. That is a fair take on it.

I guess my point is that if you are firm enough in your own beliefs, you do not fall for that crap. The pressure she felt was of her own making, by letting others dictate the situation. That isn't adult behavior. As adults, people normally have learned to set boundaries. She didn't. I find it hard to feel sorry for her, actually.

[tammywammy]

42. Oh I agree, that if she was pressured she should have stood up to it

I do feel sorry for her a bit, but I think mostly I feel sorry for her family, him and his family, for what she put them through.

I don't agree with what she did by any means, but at the same time I don't understand what she did and I'm trying to rationalize it for myself because I don't understand it.

[susanna]

44. No, it is hard to understand...I see what you are saying.

Personally, I think she fell in love with the planning part of it; that's easy! Everyone seems to enjoy the baubles and glitter of planning a wedding.

That said, as a non-wedding gal myself, the planning wasn't FUN for me at all. It was actually a second job on top of my "real" one. Thankfully, those feelings made for very QUICK decisions. ;-)

As a child raised by southern parents in the north, I do understand weddings down south. I've been a bridesmaid in several relatives' Alabama weddings. They are not to be believed! So I will soften my stance a bit. I know the pressure. What I cannot understand is calling 911 and saying one has been abducted (just to get out of your wedding). Now that's messed up.

[tammywammy]

46. Oh yeah, calling 911 was messed up

Really, she could have just called home and said "hey I'm halfway across the country and don't want to go through with the wedding tomorrow."

I've had cousins that spend gobs of money on huge weddings, with a gazillion bridesmaids, etc. I'm more of a laid back kind of person, so it's just not in my nature to have a full blown "wedding." I'm a southern gal, but I'm also realistic...and I would hate for my parents and myself to spend that much money. I'd rather go for something small and simple.

[susanna]

47. Exactly.

I'm from a pretty 'known' southern family, although I was raised "up north." My wedding was VERY small and extremely simple. Our southern relatives didn't bother to come, because it was "so small." I was not upset about that. ;-)

edited for clarity

[Hosnon]

9. No way...her shit would be outside by the time she got back from NM. nt

[all.of.me]

11. i'm not a guy, but...

maybe after some soul searching he could decide what to do. i'm curious to see the answers here.

[alittlelark]

12. I almost ran... and I'd been w/ him for almost 13 years at that point

We met in early HS. I was terrified, and feeling TRAPPED!!!

We've been married for 11 years, and have 2 great kids.

I'm glad I did not flee, and thank 2 cousins and my sister-in-law.

[tammywammy]

15. You were lucky to have your cousins and SIL to listen to you

I have a feeling (totally an assumption) that this "runaway bride" tried to tell someone how she was feeling and was blown off with a "it's just jitters." I have a feeling that no one was listening to her, and that's why she ran. Not that I think doing that was right, hello a note would have been nice.

[alittlelark]

18. The feeling is overwhelming...

I can still feel it when I think back to those 2-3 days.

[chookie]

25. It was premeditated

She purchased the bus ticket weeks ago. She planned it carefully, having put some luggage together, and arranging to meet a cab during her "run." She also led investigators to believe she had been the victim of a crime by --apparently -- throwing the clothes she was last seen in from the window of the bus -- 3 articles of hers were found in 3 different places, separated by dozens of miles. The fact that she threw her clothing out of the bus leads me to believe she had planned lying about being abducted early on.

And why would she choose Vegas, of all places, if she needed to be alone to think about things? Seems she felt entitled to party hearty in the Mother of All Fleshpots for having been under pressure by her family. And maybe she loves seeing people "prove" how much they love her by crying over her, searching for her, offering a $100,000 reward for her. (We have a missing district attorney from my area whose family is only offering $1500. If he's still alive, that must make him feel terrible.)

If she had jitters -- why did it all have to culminate with her lying to the police about being abducted, and most importantly, lying with great skill and acting talent? Someone who is otherwise rational would have fessed up and said "ENOUGH! The pressure drove me NUTS" instead of inventing a wild and crazy story about being the victim of a crime. These details lead me to conclude she has a serious psychiatric disorder.

She will continue to lie, but get back to telling the type she usually does, that can't be verified or discredited -- like getting her family to let her off the hook for what she inflicted on them by telling them that they weren't being supportive enough of her that last week. She comes from an extremely supportive environment, which is so religious in orientation that they are incapable of seeing any negativity in her -- so it is likely she will neither have to face criminal charges, or psychiatric treatment. It's a shame, because, if I am correct in discerning signs of serious mental illness, this makes the already poor prognosis even worse.

[tammywammy]

26. I didn't know that she purchased the ticket weeks ago

I really haven't kept up with the "news" today.

And I'll start this off by saying I do like to give the benefit of doubt to everyone.

Yeah, going to Vegas is weird. Well, all of this is weird. But I think when she first lied to the police she was trying to not hurt the fiance. I think she finally realized how out of control the situtation became.

I don't know. I feel sorry for her and I hope that she gets some help. But mostly I feel sorry for him, for what happened to him.

And I'll be glad when this is off the "news."

[chookie]

38. Benefit of the Doubt is sometimes a very good thing

On the other hand, when dealing with pathological liars, and people with mental illness, it is counterproductive, to say the least.

I disagree with your idea that she wished to spare her fiance hurt.Sadly, she deliberately did things to make it appear to police investigators that she had been abducted -- throwing her clothes out of the window of the bus in 3 locations, to be found on the highway. She is lying when she says she had no idea her behavior would get so much attention -- but then be able to deliver such a convincing performance as the victim of an abduction during the 911 call (making me believe she was VERY familiar with the kind of attention victims get, for her to imitate one of their performances)? She is just floating lies like trial balloons to see what her loving family will "buy" as authentic. This is sociopathic behavior. Hardcore.

Honey, you're a nice person, and so is her fiance. But when people do stuff like this, it is not "nice" to believe their lies. It doesn't aid anything.

This is, tragically, not a once in a lifetime thing. I bet there is weird shit in her past, and I predict it in her future. If she is not treated, and she manages to elude treatment, I predict her next psychotic episode will occur when she has to deal with the pressure of having and raising kids. Just hoping it won't happen isn't going to help.

If they want to "give her a second chance," a meaningful psychiatric intervention is absolutely necessary.

I feel bad about it too. Her prognosis is not good....

[tammywammy]

40. Thanks for calling me a nice person!

Yeah, I usually just don't understand these type of events, call me naive.

And I can see what you're saying too.

Really, who knows. I hope that if they are going to get married that there's at least a year of therapy for both, individually and as a couple.

And if he dumps her, which I wouldn't hold against him, then that's okay too.

[fortyfeetunder]

14. Not caring about the story, but since you asked...

Had I been the SO answering the phone, I would have said to keep on running....

[tinfoilinfor2005]

21. Agree, and I'm really tired of this stupid story already.

As a female, though, I was just curious as to how most guys would respond. If the situation was reversed, I wouldn't want to take that chance.

[Floogeldy]

16. Maybe

I've always been terrified of a big wedding. I don't blame her.

B-)

[Robeson]

17. It depends on how rich she was.....

...:hide:

[Redstone]

19. Not that one. she's a bunny-boiler, for sure.

Redstone

[tinfoilinfor2005]

28. What is a bunny boiler?

Never heard this expression but it made me laugh out loud. Now I have to know what that means!

[Redstone]

30. You never saw the movie "Fatal Attraction?"

Actually, I think I'm the only one who uses the term "bunny boiler" to describe the Glenn Close character in that movie.

Think I oughta trademark it? It's a good one.

Redstone

[tinfoilinfor2005]

35. Yes I just saw it again very recently but never put it together

with your term. But I Like It, I Like It. Of course I will steal it because you didn't TM it in time. :)

[Redstone]

37. Damn. But there's copyright to consider, so just add

proper attribution and send me a nickel for each time you use it.

Hey, if this becomes a meme, I'll have someone who can verify my authorship!

Redstone

[SW FL Dem]

20. It depends

I'm not a guy, but I have had moments in the past 20 years when I have felt like bailing. Her wedding sounds like a total nightmare, 600 people, who knows if that is what she wanted. Maybe she saw her life as she knows it slipping away. This is small town Georgia. I wouldn't necessarily give up, but I would have lots of serious questions that need to be answered before I went through with the wedding.

[shesemsmom]

24. My thoughts exactly. He'd be nuts to marry her.

it wont last

[chookie]

27. Hell no

I think she must be highly manipulative. If I am correct in my analysis, she has a narcissistic personality disorder, with histrionic features. Narcissists are great charmers, and can be loads of fun and very interesting partners -- until they suspect you don't utterly worship them and find them perfect, when they go psycho -- literally have a psychotic episode.

From what I heard on the 911 tape, she is an accomplished liar and actress, and when she sees him again, and her family, she will continue telling lies, and they will continue to believe her, and they will never truly confront her crazy behavior.

He certainly seems to be a loving guy, but he may be more forgiving than discerning. My advice to him would be, if you love her, force her to confront her illness and get treatment, and expect to be in this for the long haul.

On the other hand, if she is as manipulative as i think she is, she can easily manage to hide her symptoms for a long time. But they will resurface. I would predict they will resurface if she decides to have children, and has little dependent beings competing for the attention of the world, which she herself demands. I bet she is very "nice" and lots of fun -- people with certain personality disorders are often quite popular -- but he needs to beware her next psychotic episode.

I wish them the best. But it looks like a prescription for "Roller Coaster" style life, to me.

[jobycom]

29. Oh Hell yeah!!

Damn, what a story to tell the grandkids.

And give me spunky and unpredictable any day. Reminds me of Trillian in Hitchiker's Guide. I like her!

And screw the media, they're just pissed off because she revealed them as the irresponsible, sensationalists frauds they are. They'll crucify her for it, and most of America will follow along, wagging their tails behind them. But I won't fall for their self-rightious moaning. Too many innocent dead people in Iraq prove to me that the media can't tell a real story from a gust of wind to save their souls.

[GOPFighter]

31. Hell Yes!

She's famous!

Seriously, if I loved her before she bolted, I'd still love her after she came back.

[MrSandman]

32. No chance...nt

[frictionlessO]

34. well umm is she as freaky in bed as she is out??

I mean that might make a lot of difference for the more acquired tastes out there.

[tammywammy]

48. I have always heard that the nuttier the girl

the crazier/better in bed. I work with a bunch of guys, so I think they're a reliable source. But it's someone they'd date but not marry.

[frictionlessO]

51. date marriage plum sultana its all the same to me...

Though I've known one or two fellas that couldn't live without a certain something that they figured they'd never find again...

not sure if the nuttier thing holds true often enough though. Known some nutters who were frigid as a fish puke.

[Shell Beau]

36. Well he must be "crazy" about her.

[curse10]

39. If I were her I'd have run as well- 600+ at the wedding & 14 bridesmaids!

The thing sounds insane! That's a lot of pressure. There is no reason for a wedding to be that big. It's scary.

[Quixote1818]

45. He probably does not want to put her through any more trauma right now

I have a feeling they are in for some heavy duty counseling before they are ready to tie the knot now. Everyone deserves a second chance and he certainly can't abandon her right now after all she put herself through. We have all gone through difficult times where our common sense went out the door. If he really loves her he should stand by her 100%.

[BiggJawn]

49. No. absolutely not. Especially if it was in this fashion.

Nancy Grace on CNN wanting to bunk me up with Scott Peterson, Pigs demanding I talk to them and take a polygraph, and Gawd-knows-WHAT was being posted about me in the various message boards all across the internets...

The only question I'd have would have been:

Do I put her shit in trash bags before I throw it down the driveway, or do I just pile it up in the front yard?

But then, I've been married twice already. I have no patience for bullshit games like that anymore.

[DS1]

50. I'm detecting a trend here

The guys have already booted her shit out the front door

The girls mostly wonder/want to know why

I could be wrong

[hfojvt]

53. I will fight that trend. Absolutely I would still marry her.

If I have proposed then I have declared my love for her. I think she's pretty and I think she's smart. I like her nerve and I love her heart. I am not admitting that I made a mistake, and I am not backing out.

[NorthernSpy]

71. Gawd help you, man.

You seem like a sweet fellow. You're going to get eaten alive.

[entanglement]

52. No n/t

[KG]

54. i'm thinking the future hubby isn't too bright.

this incident can't be the first time she's exhibited whacked out behavior.
i forsee a world of shit for this guy if he marries her without having her get some kind of help.

[radwriter0555]

55. Sometimes people are perfect for each other, BECAUSE of the flaws..

However, not a marriage I place a big bet on.

[deutsey]

56. The truth is they're happier when in they're in pain

In fact, that's why they got married.

Bah bah ba-ba bah

--Lou Reed

[Maine-ah]

57. she has no business getting married..

if she can't even communicate to her fiance that she was getting cold feet, then there is most likely no communication in their relationship and I think that is the key to being married.

(on edit) this is a gal's point of view.

[GOPFighter]

58. Wait a minute...

Maybe she knew he wouldn't listen. Maybe she tried to talk to him already and he refused to listen to her concerns. Maybe no one would listen. Maybe her only alternative was to flee.

(this is one man's perspective)

[Maine-ah]

59. exactly. No communication. She should have called it off.

[Zuni]

60. no woman runs away from Zuni

I keep 'em locked in the tool shed until they are just right for marryin'

[tinfoilinfor2005]

66. Unless they gnaw off a foot to get out of the steel trap?

Although some Springer show women call that romance! :)

[Zuni]

72. It is like you know me

:evilgrin:

[tinfoilinfor2005]

73. Oh, I'm sure we dated at some time...

check your toolshed...my foot has the hot pink toe nail polish.

[miss_kitty]

61. Anyone ever seen 'It Happened One Night'?

This kind half reminds me of that-wealthy family, runaway bride, nationwide coverage-she just needs to have the Clark Gable character pop up now and save her from the last bit...

[Magrittes Pipe]

62. What did Claudette Colbert say when Jean Harlow mispronounced her name?

"No dear, the T is silent. Just like in 'Harlow.'"

[miss_kitty]

64. Hahahahaha!

:spray:
I never heard that one!

[leftofthedial]

63. dude just dodged a bullet

He should take his good fortune and run with it.

[Mutley]

65. If she had just run away, then come back

that would be one thing. But to turn it into all that craziness... ugh, no. I would tell her to get the fuck out of my life. Right after thanking her for showing me her insane side BEFORE the wedding.

[On Par]

67. The Correct Answer Within.....

A stiff dick ain't got no conscience.

[GirlinContempt]

68. See the thing is

[tinfoilinfor2005]

70. Some captions come to mind...my favorite would be

Catch and release.

[BringEmOn]

69. But...but... he probably made a down payment on the double-wide

and had the "Bud" and "Sissy" license plates in the back window of his pickup truck.

[Cattledog]

74. Her husband is a Fox News groupie!

Maybe that's why she left. The Atlanta Journal Constitution did a big
story on it and called the husband a "Fox News Groupie" and how he was
hanging out at the FNC tent saying "When is Sean Hannity gonna come see me" I kid you not!

CD