The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 371

[top10]

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 371

August 24, 2009
Hate Mailbag Special

It's been a weird couple of weeks. The Democrats are falling all over themselves to come up with a good health care reform bill, with the unfortunate but predictable consequence that they're, er, falling all over themselves. Meanwhile the wingnuts have gone completely overboard, to the point where elected Republican officials have been egging on armed protesters at town hall meetings. And let's not forget the guy who recently identified himself as a "http://www.mtshastanews.com/news/x769902147/Congressman-Herger-calls-Obama-plan-threat-to-democracy">proud right-wing terrorist" to a cheering crowd, whereupon his Republican congressman said, "There is a great American." WTF?

Indeed, this may be the first time that there has been too much conservative idiocy to write about. I'm not kidding. So since we're coming to the end of silly season I thought it might be nice to have a change of pace this week and dig into the old Hate Mailbag.

The following are real emails sent to Democratic Underground over the past year, and they have not been edited in any way, although names and email addresses have been removed to protect the ignorant.

If you've never read the Hate Mailbag before, be aware that it does contain extreme language. You've been warned!


The Latest Hillary Rumor

From: Barry T---- <[email protected]>
Subject: Fwd: Hillary prostitute

Hillary Clinton uses prostitute in Tampa Florida for exhibit and lure into licentious battery.

DU RESPONDS: Dick Morris, is that you?


Darn Kids

From: Bodhi M------ <[email protected]>
Subject: So much foer free speech

Fuck you too ...would Jes guuys shut the fuck up alreadyQQ

DU RESPONDS: Somewhere in America, the mother of a 14-year-old boy is wondering why the once-full bottle of vodka in her liquor cabinet is now half empty.


The New Face Of Mainstream Conservatism, Part One

From: Clara M <[email protected]>
Subject: President Palin from Alaska.

the group is a bunch of loser, Palin, has the Drmrats scared and they make fun of her. obaba, michele wasted thousands on clothes for her ,kids an the half black half white husband of hers. so lay off. President Bush, saved your , theirs and o.bs a--, and he is the greatest president we have ever had. ob is a murder, he over turned President Bush right to live, shame on obanba, his wife and all of you, making fun about an earth quake. do you wish you mom and dad had a abortion and killed all you worthless people,. God is angry with all of you freaks. but i do pray for all of your souls, change before it is to late, God loves you but hate all of your ways. ob does not have the common sense to rule, and he probably is not a U,S.A citizen. he bought and cheated his way in our white house. thank you. and may you prat and God will forgive all of you. so sit down and shut up.. from millions of disgusted Americans, who did not vote for the racial mixed white and black man, he is no African American, if he was born in the U.S A he would simple be just a mixed American. get over it the south won you just thank you did, sick of you in Ga. and all over the U.S A

DU RESPONDS: You're in luck, I hear Fox News is hiring right now!


The New Face Of Mainstream Conservatism, Part Two

From: david c---------- <[email protected]>
Subject: (no subject)

You bunch of fucking losers ...... you seem to think ya a bunch of smart people .... guess what ... ya just violated the 1st amendment.

freedom of speech .... typical for a bunch of dumbass dumbacrats who worship a worthless no good piece of shit terroristic nigger .

oh yeah and by the way ... if ya want to forward this to law enforcement be my guest .... i tell them the same thing ... cause guess what ...I AM AN AMERICAN. i can trace my family history back to the founding of this country ... can you ? Ya'll are prolly nothing more than a bunch of muslim loving niggers that cant get a real job and have to play with crack pipes and steal computers .... watch ya back ... america is coming for ya .... and it wont be pretty when we are done with you and that nigger osama ...

DU RESPONDS: I'd be scared if I thought you could get your hand off your dick for more than five seconds.


Breaking The Law

From: ---------------- <[email protected]>
Subject: You sure are a true Free Speech blog, aren't you!

I actually read your posting rules and they are actually unlawful.? You can't say someone has to support Democrat candidates in order to post on an open forum.? Repost my message about the ebay item or I will be contacting my U.S. Democrat Congressman.?

Thank You.?

DU RESPONDS: I think you are totally wrong about that? And your Congressman will laugh in your face? And by the way question marks are supposed to go at the end of questions?


Harper's Bizarre

From: Vernon S----- <[email protected]>
Subject: Moron

Damn, you pieces of shit are bazaar, you are an insult to the demonrats. Oh thats right, you are one. Maybe you morons ought to wake up while Obama Bin Laden is on his "2009 Apology Tour" & see the writing on the wall. Oh thats right, I forgot, you bitches can't read.

DU RESPONDS: There's really no arguing with that kind of stupid.


Well Hung

From: Mark H------ <[email protected]>
Subject: bakken

f_ck you demo bitch. I would like to hang you from the highest tree and watch your heals kick in the air. it's a nice thougt.

DU RESPONDS: I think it's so cute that you want to hang me from a tree but you're too polite to spell out the word "fuck."


Alternatively...

From: Mike M---- <[email protected]>
Subject: 2500 days

Wed. June 16 marks 2500 consecutive days that America has been protected from a terrorist attack.

Thank God, George W, homeland security and our brave volunteer troops.

What are the chances that the activist old media will celebrate this milestone. The media loves it's milestones!!!!

Thanks...

Mike ----, Whittier, Ca.

DU RESPONDS: Don't you mean, "Wed. June 16 marks 2501 days since George W. Bush totally blew it and failed to protect America from the worst terrorist attack in history which killed 3,000 men, women and children on U.S. soil?"


Another Satisfied Customer

From: Anonymous Sender <[email protected]>
Subject: DU

Having been a member of DU for a few years I dropped out because of the pettiness of the community. I re-entered thinking that things had changed, I already have 5 "ignored". The people at DU are a bunch of pussies typing in the dark of their mommy's basement. Pussies and whimps. Good place to catch the news though.

DU RESPONDS: Er... thanks?


Plumbing The Depths

From: <[email protected]>
Subject: Joe the Plumber

How dare you investigate him and terrorize him,what us americans can't disagree with almighty Sen. Obama what are you now going to investigate me,We are americans and have every right to disagree with whom ever we want to and you better stop with attacking this guy,you have no right and he is 100% right that Sen. Obama tax plan is socialism at its best.you see if he wins and implements his tax plan my family has a business and see they already said if he puts into place they will have to let an employee because of the cost of the taxes see obama is creating small business to let go of emloyees because they cant afford to pay higher taxes and plus no goverment is going to tell me how to spend my income over my dead body. YOU BETTER STOP YOUR INESTIGATION WITH JOE THE PLUMBER HE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT HE SAID THIS IS AMERICA OR DID YOU FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DU RESPONDS: "Signed, Joe the Plumber."


How Rude

From: Phlash Gordin <[email protected]>
Subject: Commies Underground

How does it feel to know Osamabama, your false messiah, is breaking the nation & working to eradicate capitalism to establish his affirmative action/fag-friendly/euro-pussy commie shitheap which even the Russkies & Chicoms advise against? Oh, wait, you all still think Che Queervera was a hero & that standing in line for toilet paper are romantic ideals, you cunts.

DU RESPONDS: My goodness! I was going to ask if you kiss your mother with that mouth, but I'm guessing you skip foreplay and go straight to the intercourse.


Land Of The Banned

A Teabagger Writes (Part One)

From: Milehigh Pilot <[email protected]>
Subject: You denied me free speech on your forum, cause you know what i say is true

You bastards truly know old people are gonna die under the health bill.
this is where rule under the gun comes against you.
Trust me I know my life is worth more than yours.
Take that to the banks.
Tea Party folks know the dame thing, and I'm one of them. You fuckers want me dead, you'll setp in front and take the shot before I will ever will.
Better to lose you communists rather than me.

Ban me from your forum, who cares, the truth gets out, and you motherfuckers lose.
Try and take me out, the gun rules. and I speak for 5 million plus people who hate you motherfuckers.
We patriots respect the Constitution and Bill of Rights, which we will enforce.
So you motherfuckers step out of the way to your peril.

Peace or Revolution, your choice.

DU RESPONDS: I'm confused, is it you that wants us dead or us that want you dead?


A Teabagger Writes (Part Two)

From: Milehigh Pilot <[email protected]>
Subject: You denied me free speech on your forum, cause you know what i say is true

Now do we rule by the gun? Many democrats as me are now arming ourselves cause we fear of an Obama communist government. I speak for 200 million people in the USA

DU RESPONDS: Okay I get it now. You're just nuts.


Dude, Where's My Summons?

From: Mark H------ <[email protected]>
Subject: Your posting privileges have been revoked

I know why and I don't care. But you must know that we know that you support terrorists and drug dealers like the FARC. I am reporting your Web to secret services in the USA, EUROPE, and Interpol. Now you know who I am and we know who are. See you at Court dude.

DU RESPONDS: That's totally rad. Hang loose brah. Tubular.


Unclear On The Concept

From: SD5 <[email protected]>
Subject: Cannot post

I would like to know specifically what it was i did to be locked out from posting? Based on other posts I have read, I don't think I crossed any lines. THere is even a full topic where the OP is suggesting banning Repulblicans and ridding the world of them.

Just curious if Free Speech is alive and well.

My user name is SickofDummycrats.

Thanks for your time.

DU RESPONDS: :rofl:


The Joy of Censorship

From: No.23 <[email protected]>
Subject: Haven't you learned, yet, that...

censorship is an act of cowardice?

And when that act of censorship is performed in the dark, it's an act of cowardice coupled with a fear of exposure to that act.

And people wonder why the Democratic Party can be so adept at cowardly acts.

Some of their supporters are adept at it as well.

Nothing will change. Until acts of cowardice become acts of courage.

Good luck learning that lesson for yourself, as a censor for the DU.

No.23

DU RESPONDS: Don't be silly. Acts of censorship performed in the dark are just plain sexy.


See If You Can Decipher This One

From: ann <[email protected]>
Subject: ERROR: Your posting privileges have been revoked

you have hade more then enough time respond

lets see you run a sight that talks yet ,

when its your turn,

you cartoon out! is it you leave in a red *commie flag* world .

Communism is a socioeconomic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socioeconomic structure and political ideology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_ideology that promotes the establishment of an egalitarian http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egalitarianism, classlessm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classlessness, stateless http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stateless society http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society based on common ownership http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_ownership and control of the means of production http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Means_of_production and property in general.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Symbol-hammer-and-sickle.svg




or a red white and blue ?

lack of response say------------ red commie world ?


DU RESPONDS: No, lack of response say "Get lost."


And Finally...

The Greatest Piece Of Hate Mail DU Has Ever Received

From: Reuben O------ <[email protected]>
Subject: BARACK -- KILLED (CAYLEE)!!

BARACK -- (& CAYLEE-ANTHONY)!!
===========================================

THE WORSE AND
SADDEST STORY THATS
GOING ON IN AMERICA
RIGHT NOW IS:

THE CASEY ANTHONY
CASE!!

AND THIS IS A PICTURE
OF CASEY ANTHONY!!

AND MOST PEOPLE
BELIEVE THAT:

CASEY ANTHONY WAS
WICKED ENOUGH TO
KILL HER OWN
LITTLE DAUGHTER!!

AND:
HER DAUGHTER's
NAME WAS CAYLEE!!

AND:
THIS IS A PICTURE
OF HER!!

AND THIS CUTE LITTLE
GIRL HAD BEEN
MISSING SINCE:
JUNE OF 2008!!

AND HER BODY WAS
NOT FOUND UNTIL:
DECEMBER 2008!!

AND THIS LITTLE GIRL
NAMED CAYLEE,

SHE WAS FINALLY
FOUND DEAD INSIDE
OF A:
BODY-BAG!!

AND HER FLESH WAS
NOT FOUND!!

BUT:
ONLY HER SKULL
AND HER BONES
WERE FOUND!

AND SHE HAD BEEN
KILLED AND WRAPPED
IN A:
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!









AND:
MANY MANY PEOPLE
ARE SAYING THAT
CASEY ANTHONY
KILLED HER OWN
LITTLE GIRL!!


AND THAT:
CASEY ANTHONY IS
EVIL AND NEEDS TO
GO TO PRISON!!

BUT I SAY THAT:
BARACK OBAMA,
THE ANTI-CHRIST IS
THE ONE THAT NEEDS
TO GO TO PRISON!!














FOR THE MURDER OF
LITTLE:
CAYLEE ANTHONY!!

BECAUSE HE USES HIS
(B. O.) MARK OF
THE BEAST!!

TO POSSESS THE
MINDS OF PEOPLE!!

TO CAUSE THEM TO
DO EVIL, DUMB,
CRAZY AND VIOLENT
THINGS!!

SO LETS TAKE A
LOOK AT THE
THREE (3) REAL
FACTS!!

ABOUT THE:
CASEY ANTHONY
CASE!!


FACT (# 1)!!

HER LITTLE GIRL's
BODY WAS FOUND
DEAD IN A:
BODY-BAG!!


AND THE WORD:
BODY-BAG
SURELY HAS:
THE LETTERS (B. O.)
IN IT TOO!!

AND (B. O.) IS THE
MARK OF THE BEAST
NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!










FACT (# 2)!!

BY THE TIME THIS
LITTLE GIRL's BODY
WAS FOUND,

THERE WAS NO
FLESH ON HER!!

BUT THEY ONLY
FOUND:
HER BONES!!

AND THE WORD:
(BONES) SURELY
HAS THE LETTERS
(B. O.) IN
IT TOO!!

AND:
(B. O.) IS THE
MARK OF THE BEAST
NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!









AND LAST BUT NOT
LEAST!!

HERE IS:
FACT (# 3)!!

THIS LITTLE GIRL'S
BODY WAS FOUND!!

AND IT HAD BEEN:
WRAPPED IN A
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!









NOT A CINDERELLA
BLANKET!!

BUT A WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!

AND THE WORDS:
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET
HAS:
BARACK OBAMA's
EXACT INITIALS OF
(B. H. O.) IN IT
TOO!!

BECAUSE:
AFTER THE WORD
(POOH)!!
COMES THE WORD
(BLANKET)!!

AND THE WORD:
(POOH) ENDS
WITH (O & H)!!

AND THEN COMES:
THE WORD
(BLANKET)!!
THAT STARTS WITH
THE LETTER (B)!!

SO NOW WE HAVE
THE LETTERS:

(O. H. B.) RIGHT
BESIDE EACH OTHER
IN THE WORDS:
POOH-BLANKET!!

AND WHEN YOU
UNSCRAMBLE
(O.H.B.)

YOU GET:
(B. H. O.)
WHICH IS
THE MARK OF
THE BEAST!!

AND THE INITIALS
OF THE BEAST
NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!









AND THIS DEMON IS
THE ANTI-CHRIST!!
AND HE IS KILLING
PEOPLE AND
CAUSING KILLINGS
WITH HIS:
(B. O.) AND
(B. H. O.) MARK
OF THE BEAST
FOLKS!!










AND:
WINNIE THE
POOH-BLANKET!!
SURELY HAS THE
LETTERS (B. H. O.)
IN IT!!
AND RIGHT BESIDE
EACH OTHER FOLKS!!
BECAUSE:
(B. H. O.) IS THE
MARK OF THE
BEAST NAMED:
BARACK OBAMA!!










AND HE NEEDS TO
BE ARRESTED FOR
THE MURDER OF:
CAYLEE ANTHONY!!


BECAUSE HE IS
SILENTLY KILLING
PEOPLE WITH HIS
MARK!!
AND I CAN ASSURE
YOU THAT:
BARACK OBAMA
AND HIS MARK OF
THE BEAST CAUSED
CAYLEE ANTHONY
TO BE KILLED!!
BECAUSE:
BARACK OBAMA IS
THE ANTI-CHRIST
FOLKS!!
AND HIS MARK OF
THE BEAST IS
SURELY:

====================
BHO. BHO. BHO.


B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.
B. O. B. O. B. O.


BHO. BHO. BHO.




B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.
BHO. BHO. BHO.


NO QUESTION
ABOUT IT!!
==========================================
FROM: Mister Truthful
EMAIL: [email protected]

===================================


P.S.*** PLEASE EMAIL ME:
SO THAT I CAN ANSWER ANY OF
YOUR COMMENTS, CONCERNS
OR QUESTIONS:
====================================
ABOUT THE BEAST, THE
ANTI-CHRIST, THE MARK OF
THE BEAST, THE TRIBULATION ,
THE WARS, THE EARTHQUAKES,
THE END TIME, HELL,
THE RAPTURE, OR THE NEW
BABYLON, THE GAS PRICES
OR THE ECONOMY,
MARRIAGES, BUDGETING,
FEMALE PASTORS OR
DREAM INTERPRETATIONS.
===================================
BECAUSE THESE ARE THE
THINGS THAT I HAVE STUDIED!
===========================

I HAVE ALSO STUDIED HOW
TO REDUCE ACID-REFLUX
DISEASE & HOW TO AVOID
SUGAR-DIABETES & HOW
TO INCREASE A PERSON'S
CHANCES OF SURVIVING
CANCER.

DU RESPONDS: You win.


The Top 10 will return in two weeks, on Monday September 7. See you then!

[flvegan]

1. Hate Mailbag!!!!

yes! yes! yes!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. You have my complete respect, now and forever!

I could not read all of it...never mind compile it!

Whew.

Where do they come from?

See you in two weeks!

Have fun with the brain bleach...:puke:

K&R

[Mad_Dem_X]

118. I couldn't read all of them, either

The pure insanity leaping off the page was giving my a migraine!

[NMDemDist2]

3. hate mail!!!

:woohoo:

:yourock:

:bounce:

[krispos42]

4. Ah, man, it's been FOREVER!!!!

:woohoo:



DU's Hate Mailbag is much better than DailyKos' is, IMO.

[InternalDialogue]

5. Is that true, EarlG?

Do you play with the crack pipe?

[The Doctor.]

6. Oh, Clara M...

That's priceless!

I culnt do beder if i tryed.

[Initech]

7. That was some seriously funny shit!

I think we'd have a lot fewer republicans in the world if they'd simply take a basic grammar class! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[krispos42]

8. Would that be...

...a SOCIALIZED grammar class?




EVERYBODY PANIC!

[Initech]

10. That wouid be their worst nightmare!

:rofl:

[krispos42]

11. Would it be... a National Socialist grammar class????

Everybody panic in an orderly, precise fashion!

[liberal_rxstudent]

18. hehehe...

I absolutely adore the little grammar nazi.

[Initech]

19. OH NOES!!!! The grammar nazis!!!!

:rofl:

[AlbertCat]

60. What about "yore"??????

As in "Days of yore...when your mother was alive. You're gonna want your shovel back."

[Rainbowreflect]

64. You just made me spit on my monitor.

I hope you're happy. ;-)

[unpossibles]

45. their nawt gunna lit the govmint tail thems how to spel! nt

[lame54]

9. that last letter had to from the guy who writes the Nostradamus books...

same "logic" used

[Autonomy]

12. The Greatest Piece Of Hate Mail DU Has Ever Received

I was so skeptical when I read this tag on the last email. The GREATEST piece of hate mail? Pshaw! With so much competition, how could you say that with such certainty? Surely it's not THAT great. But then I read it...

:wow:

Very simply, that is the single greatest piece of literature I've ever read. I am in awe. I would love to meet the author of that email...

As long as it's in a public place and we have to pass through a metal detector first.

Edit: also, I really wanna find out how to cure my acid reflux

[Th1onein]

25. The poor person who wrote that last email.....

I feel sorry for him or her. I really do. It's very sad to know that people like that exist. Just absolutely pitiful. Poor thing.

[pattmarty]

35. But, that's why abortion is legal.

:sarcasm:

[nxylas]

133. Yeah, I laughed, but felt very uncomfotable afterwards

The person who wrote that last e-mail was clearly mentally ill, and should be pitied rather than laughed at.

[AlbertCat]

61. B O... B O.....B O.....B O....B O...

HE CAN CURE ACID REFLUX
BUT CANNOT USE
A DEODORANT




TO KILL
THE BEAST THAT IS



B O B O B O B O B O B O
B O B O B O B O
B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O B O


?

[bluevoter4life]

106. Don'tcha know

He's not writing our president's initials, he's simply chanting the name of the First Pet.

[Bjorn Against]

121. And that letter was written by none other than ReuBen O

I see a B and an O in his name so you better be careful, he just might be the devil.

[Iggo]

13. Hate Mail? Finally!

I been waiting two years for this!

[dmr]

14. BECAUSE THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT I HAVE STUDIED!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I laughed til I cried!

THE GAS PRICES
OR THE ECONOMY,
MARRIAGES, BUDGETING,
FEMALE PASTORS OR
DREAM INTERPRETATIONS.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

After all the B. O. B. O. B. O. the writer wants to help you with your acid reflux!

(burp)

[badgerpup]

15. K & R

:rofl:

That final one......:wtf:
Lordy, lordy...:wow:

Do you s'pose it was written by the DORKSIDED! GAR-GOYLES! PRAYER WARRIOR!^TM female?
Or possibly by a member of her...um...really can't dignify something like that with the name of 'church'...religious mindset?
No, that won't work either...makes the assumption that there's a MIND there, and while that may have been so at one time,
it's not evident now...
I don't feel inspired tonight; I'll just call it a 'group' and be done with it.
Whatever they are, I'm willing to bet that whoever wrote it is either out of meds and/or tinfoil. :hide::yoiks:


Thanks for wading through all that, EarlG! :yourock::applause:

:kick:

[AlbertCat]

62. really can't dignify something like that with the name of 'church'

Why not?

I mean, the House on C street is a church.... right?

[Cherchez la Femme]

131. Blew Coke out my nose with

DORKSIDED! GAR-GOYLES! PRAYER WARRIOR!TM

All over my screen now. Too funny! :rofl:


(BTW: The drink, mind you. Coke Capitalized!)

[byronius]

16. Instant Ultra-Classic.

[Vektor]

17. Wow.

Just...wow. :crazy:

K&R

[OpEd]

20. Left Behind

Apparently many of these people were left behind. And, for this last guy, there’s got to be a pill for what you’ve got. Seek it out. Please.

[rpannier]

23. He needs to stop studying on Obama and Acid reflux disease

and start studying on psychotherapy

To be honest...If he really is that delusional (and not some guy trying to be funny) I really do hope he gets help. He sounds like he needs it.

[Hissyspit]

21. Shit.

There is no way that Winnie The Pooh Blanket thing is just a coincidence!

Laugh all you want. I'm fucking scared now, dude...

[Politicalboi]

86. LOL!

And to think Obama wasn't even President when Caylee went missing and when she was found. I think it's time to go back to the drawing board. Better "study" a little more. I think that nuts e-mail should be given. I myself have acid reflux sometimes, and really would like the "cure". Hey maybe it's Nancy Grace. LOL! Oh and Caylee was found in a garbage bag not a "bo" dy bag.

[xxqqqzme]

93. Obama not being president

is not part of the equation. If he can have a birth announcements, planted in Hawaiian newspapers in 1961, he obviously can do anything! You really don't know what you are dealing with here!!!!



My former mother-in-law was paranoid, but she didn't get close to this.

[Norrin Radd]

123. Yep. He's a Time Lord.

[Enthusiast]

116. I suppose you're saying he didn't do it.

How can you ignore all this evidence?

[rpannier]

22. Each letter is its own little slice of heaven

Clara M -->
- he over turned President Bush right to live,... Bush is dead!!!!!!!!! Damned liberal media didn't tell me about it
-making fun about an earth quake...What Earthquake (Someone needs to tell her it's one word)
-and may you prat... Sorry I don't prat. I hear you go blind and get hair on your palms. I think that's why God smite King Onan - for pratting
-get over it the south won you just thank you did, The south won??? What did they win?
And yes I am Thank I did as well

David C -->
ya just violated the 1st amendment. freedom of speech... David needs to read the Constitution. Although I don't think there's a Baby's First Pop-up Book on the 1st Amendment yet, so he might have trouble reading it.

[email protected] -->

I actually read your posting rules and they are actually unlawful.? You can't say someone has to support Democrat candidates in order to post on an open forum.? Repost my message about the ebay item or I will be contacting my U.S. Democrat Congressman.?
-The posting rules don't say you have to support Democrat candidates...It says Democratic Candidates.
-Like David C, another dweeb unclear on the difference between Government and private

Vernon S. --> If we can't read, then why did you bother writing a letter?
As to the 2009 Apology Tour...I've been in the front row at every stop. I'm the guy with the giant bong and the Blue Grateful Dead shirt. The Tour has been great so far.

Anonymous sender --> Only 5??? Wow! You're far more tolerant than I am.

Mark H --> Would love to see us hang. Talk about living your life as Jesus did.

Joe the Plumber -->if he puts into place they will have to let an employee because of the cost of the taxes
Let an employee do what???

Milehighpilot --> Try and take me out
You're not my type and I heard from Underwaterboater that you stiff people for the bill.

Last two things:
1. We're being reported to the Secret Services of Europe -- Oh, NO!
2. At first I thought the last person was joking. But it seemed too delusional. Ihope you sent out a copy to all mental hospitals. Some hospital is missing a lunatic

[liberal_rxstudent]

24. Reading the hate mail...

whew. I swear, it seems like the DU hating mailers are creepy, 6th grade dropouts from the backwoods of some desolate rural area where men in white sheets congregate. Holy smokes...I couldn't help but laugh the whole way through. By the time I made it to the finale...lmao just thinking about it... Whew... contact Mister Truthful with concerns/ questions about the rapture, new babylon, GAS PRICES (WTF?!), the economy, MARRIAGES, DREAM INTERPRETATIONS :rofl: all that B.O. B.O had me reminiscing about BOBO the clown, oh, and thinking about body odor for some reason. :rofl:

[moonbatmax]

27. Gentlemen, I think we've found...

Our Next Big Meme!

:crazy: B.O.B.O! :crazy:

[DutchLiberal]

104. I think he/she means BOB. Obama is obviously possessed by BOB.

His next victim will not be wrapped in a blanket, but in plastic.

[TygrBright]

108. But will there be a midget and a girl with her ams on backward providing clues? n/t

[DutchLiberal]

109. I don't know yet. I'm waiting for the Giant to tell me.

[MrModerate]

26. Insanely funny and (of course) just plain insane. Caught between . . .

Hilarity and despair. I find it painful to imagine the suffering of such wounded souls, and more to the point, the suffering of those around them -- their families and loved ones.

As for the last one, either it tracks precisely with the escape of a mental patient later recaptured in Starbucks on a stolen laptop, or is an elaborate (and still sad) fake by some profoundly unfunny provocateur.

[comtec]

29. Sadly I doubt it's fake

Seeing some of the crazy out there, and having talked to it once or twice irl, it's out there.
which is sad how convoluted this person's mind is. I use the term "person" and "mind" very loosely.
That person is probably mentally damaged - probably untreated autism, or just drunk out of his mind half the time.
The amount of hate and bile and venom he must feel, begging god every day to just end it all is just... sad.

to be honest, reading fucked up stuff like that makes me appreciate my lot in life more. I'm reasonably sane, I'm working reliably - albeit in a foreign country with an insane language - and I'm in a reasonably stable marriage.
I believe in the odd conspiracy theory because it makes far more sense than the "official story".
I don't know if Roswell was a ET incident, but it's obvious they're lying. 9/11 seems... fishy and it has since day 1, but i don't know about many of the mihop theories about it.

But this poor soul... completely out of his fucking mind. logic has left the building if it ever was there. in it's place is a very twisted sort of logic that only feeds his hatred...self or otherwise, and fear.

Oh well... I about LOL'd at the snarky replies :)

Keep up the great work Earl G, but PLEASE post MORE hate mail, it's always good for a laugh! =]

[AlbertCat]

65. probably untreated autism, or just drunk out of his mind half the time.

or..

just religious.

[AlienGirl]

82. No, the word-salad and loose associations suggest schizophrenia.

[TrogL]

71. Why would you think autism?

If you're talking about the last mailer, the guy with the B.H.O. fixation, he's making connections where no connections exist. That's more schizophrenia territory. Autistics get obsessed, but they still make sense.

[Demeter]

28. That's Beyond Bizarre, Beyond Frightening, Beyond Belief

Maybe it would be better just to burn them before opening. I may never get the pollution out of my mind. I know there are sick people out there, but these examples are sufficiently impaired so that they should not be able to operate machinery, even to post on the Internet!

I fear for our country.

[road2000]

87. You meant "beyond bazaar." n/t

[Enthusiast]

112. Yeah! Start spelling write! nt

[ejbr]

30. I am just finishing my master's program in teaching

Thank you for this post. It appears that teachers need to help conservative pups learn to communicate better as it provides a distinct disadvantage for us progressives to be able to understand them enough to respond.

[ScottLand]

31. Crazy stuff!

My favourite (?), next to the BHO initials rant, is the one who ends every sentence with a question mark? If you think that's difficult, imagine him making a speech? I mean, really?

:rofl:

[unpossibles]

46. I imagined that one in "Valley Girl Speak", like you know?

Omg? I know people who always sound like they are asking a question? And end sentences in strange ways like? You know?

[ScottLand]

102. That's a fact?

There are many people like that? Do you know any of them! Some of the British vocal inflections go up unexpectedly at the end of the sentence - perhaps he's writing like he speaks (?).

[moose65]

32. Oh. My. DOG

That last one... wow! I have never laughed so much at a DU post as I did on that one. The Winnie the Pooh blanket thing pushed me over the edge, and by the time I got to the acid reflux and "sugar-diabetes" things I was spewing coffee. Wow. I can't believe that people like this exist.

[Enthusiast]

113. Don't you dare laugh at

Winnie the Pooh!

[pattmarty]

33. That does it!!!!!! I'm looking at moving to Spain. If you don't get.............

.......at least a little depressed after reading that SHIT, you're a better person than me. Now whenever I read shit like that I keep thinking Germany 1933. It was funny, but really, really scary too.

[comtec]

49. Why Spain? its got all those.... Spanish!

BEAUTIFUL country side but VERY catholic and kind of insular.

I'd recommend Germany personally.
People tend to have a good sense of humor and the medical system is infamous (but hard as hell to emigrate to)

[pattmarty]

50. I was being facetious. At my and my wifes ages (and finances) I................

.................retired to north central Arkansas. But, I'll tell ya, IF I was younger, better educated (than I am), had better finances I would move in a heartbeat. I just said Spain, but If I was really considering it, I would do the total research thing.

[comtec]

51. Ah... sorry I have a thing against the Spanish lol

mostly it's historical.
Its a beautiful country but... wow the people...
There's always Canada :)

[pattmarty]

52. Oh, there is any number of countries that are "better" than the US......

........It's crazy, but I have never been anywhere in the world other than Mexico and Canada. But if you READ and EDUCATE yourself it's amazing what you can find out. Look at us here, a majority of our citizens actually STILL believe we are number one in EVERYFUCKINGTHING. Just look again at the "hate mail". If the citizens REALLY knew what the rest of the world has and is doing, we probably would have a revolution here. I have always maintained that we have censorship here, it's not the big brother kind, it's subtle with the media/tv NOT telling you things you should be aware of. If you want to know you have to go and dig it up on your own. And, don't even get me started on our "education" system.

[comtec]

53. Thers is a whole thread for the educational system :)

but I digress.

[pattmarty]

54. Yep. There is a lotta shit wrong in the US, not just healthcare.

[comtec]

56. H.C. is the flavor of the minute...

and education almost never gets time.
Why do people think they can abuse the educational system and not suffer consequences I wonder...

[Enthusiast]

114. Yes, U.S. health care is

the best! The best!

[ProudDad]

128. Yep, the best 37th ranked health care on Earth...

:)

[AlbertCat]

69. One important lesson of 9/11...

...is lost among the hyper-patriotism surrounding the event:

The world is NOT America and doesn't even want to be.

[pattmarty]

92. Yep.

[AlbertCat]

68. There's always Canada

Canada is cold!

I want warmth!


Actually, I was thinking of the Netherlands....which is also cold.... but in my fantasy I have a winter house in Aruba. Summers in Amsterdam. Winters in Aruba.

[comtec]

132. For the love of Pete DON'T come to A'dam in the summer!

Spring is a much better season.
it gets HUMID here in the summer, and A'dam being a canal city even more so.
Spring is pretty nice here tho. beautiful weather. June can even be nice here.
But July and August are murder.... well for me anyway, I'm from CA, and I'm far from adjusted to this wet weather lol

[Soylent Brice]

34. damn, most of that was almost impossible to read.

i think i gave myself a headache trying to read that.

lol

[b5fan]

36. Wingers rants

Those winger posts made me think of something I saw on one of those evening police shows(Don't remember which one).
A guy made this statement,
'Any minority can get an education and a job, it takes a real American to be uneducated, unemployed and white'.
Said some uneducated, unemployed white guy with a swastika tattooed in his head.

[BlueMTexpat]

37. OMG. Funny in a very black, sick and frightening way.

EarlG: you have nothing but awe from me for wading through these ... you must need special hip waders to do so ... and must need to take a long hot shower afterwards.
The scariest thing of all: these are "fellow" US citizens. Under *Co, we have terrorized people in countries more than half a world away (and unfortunately are still there) when the craziest people of all are home-grown and right here.
Humor is indeed a wonderful catharsis at this realization. But what next? These letters demonstrate parental neglect, complete lack of a nurturing environment in a capitalist system that "values" children only as future consumers, failure of our educational system (or too much so-called "home-schooling"), insularity and parochialism, RW authoritarian religious teachings (not "Christian" in any respect), lack of critical thinking, and the effect of the non-stop barrage of fear of the "other" and color-coded "terrorist" warnings by those with a clear agenda of hatred and who have nothing but scorn for those who are most susceptible to them. If only these pathetic individuals had the capacity and ability to realize that.

:banghead:

[Warpy]

38. Earl G, I'm just going to have to steal this one

"DU RESPONDS: My goodness! I was going to ask if you kiss your mother with that mouth, but I'm guessing you skip foreplay and go straight to the intercourse."

I might even use it in real life. 25 years in the trenches as a nurse have given me really fast reflexes.

[DeeDeeNY]

39. My head hurts

:banghead:

[Lautremont]

40. Well, I'm convinced. We must investigate President Barack Obama for the crime of:

murder.

Because of something involving:
A Winnie-The-Pooh blanket.

And some:
Other crazy shit I can't even understand.

I had no idea there were:
So many crazy people in the world.

Oh:
Well.

[notKeith]

41. Cognitive Dissonance

..not the idiots ranting in the hate mail mailbag, but us reading them.
Seriously - this country needs something akin to the Fairness Doctrine brought back online - something to even the playing field for the poor schmucks that only get Fox News on their teevees.
What have we come to? Ari Fleisher infamously warned Americans to 'be careful what you say and do' - but these right-wing fools are accusing the current administration of stomping on their 1st Amendment rights.

We liberals, progressives -- however you want to be labeled -- are suffering from cognitive dissonance if we are simply amused at the virulent nonsense being generated from the right. I started to type far right, but no -- supposedly centrist Republicans are pushing this crap.
Amongst the racist, militant, loud, angry (stoopid) voices on the right, are too many that really are "right wing terrorists".

They're not funny - they're treasonous thugs.

[Bossy Monkey]

42. I'm sorry. I have to leave DU to follow Mister Truthful. The crazy is strong in this one.

Also, I'm sure he can help me with my embarrassing B.O.

[Initech]

78. We should give Mr. Truthful his own radio program.

Preferably during the late night conspiracy hour. :tinfoilhat:

[Norrin Radd]

124. The first two letters of your screen name are BO. Demonic.

[LynneSin]

43. OMG!!! How could you MOCK the email I sent you!!!!!@!!~!~!@@

Sincerely Reuben.O aka Mr. Truthful

====================
BHO. BHO. BHO.


B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.
B. O. B. O. B. O.


BHO. BHO. BHO.




B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.

BHO. BHO. BHO.

B. O. B. O. B. O.
BHO. BHO. BHO.

[sinkingfeeling]

44. Oh please, can't you give out the real email address of Mister Truthful? I need help with

acid-reflux disease and my name has an 'o' and a 'b'.

[Deep13]

47. B. O. B. O. B. O.

Doesn't that remind you of the stuff Mr. Bodily Fluids was writing after he snapped in Dr. Strangelove?

[AlbertCat]

74. Mr. Bodily Fluids

You mean Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper.

[Deep13]

48. Am I being naive or ...

...am I right in thinking that there are hardly any folks on the political left with this level of intense stupidity? I tend to think that the paranoia of the right attracts people with a marginal grip on reality anyway.

[dalaigh lllama]

55. "SickofDummycrats" doesn't understand why he was TS'd?

hahahahahahahahahaha!

These are amazing! Thanks, EarlG

[yellerpup]

57. So sick, yet so entertaining.

K&R!

[Ho Tai]

58. B.O.B.O., B.O.B.O.... Oh, No...!

OK, that last one had me laughing to tears, and I'd been in a bad mood.

B.O.B.O.The Mark of the Beast! Now I'm shittin' buh-dee-buh-dee-BRICKS!

[Reader Rabbit]

67. Well, "bobo" does mean "dumb" in Spanish.

Maybe Mr. Nutter Bar is bilingual!

[FSogol]

59. What I find amazing is that these Freepers think that disagreeing with them is a violation of

their free speech. Amazing.

[jotsy]

63. Can I hope that these are all from one single, seriously disturbed....person.

How any of the authors of these posts don't know in their hearts that they're off their meds or something. YUCK, if I've ever seen a sorrier bunch of examples of the human condition, it had to be on Jerry Springer.


For our fearless administrators who have to read this "when I grow up, I'll get to be trash" collection of spewed ramblings, I don't know where you are but anytime you're in here in River City, I got half a dozen home made chocolate chip cookies with your names on em. Thank you for all you do.

:yourock:

[Arkana]

66. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

Finally, new hate mail!

And you're right--the guy who thinks Barack Obama killed Caylee Anthony wins.

[redqueen]

70. That's some industrial-grade stupid!

Holy crap! :wow:

[happygoluckytoyou]

72. FINAL PROOF---> the W the Pooh blanket was on sale at Walmart for .....$6.66...

[Javaman]

73. Wow, that last one, wow!

I'm at a loss for words.

Wow, just Wow.

[merh]

75. My response to Reuben O------ about the Pooh blanket

would have been

"BOO HOO"

[mlevans]

76. Mister Truthful, huh?

And to think that there were actually people concerned about Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Might be entertaining to get this guy's take on female pastors and dream interpretations. Thanks, boss, for a very amusing read.

[mustardman]

77. Yikes!

That last one. Wow! People should have to pass a skill testing question before being allowed to vote.

[barbtries]

79. wow.

such hatred, ignorance, and stupidity. i laughed but then...i thought, wow. :(

[Spazito]

80. OMG! While reading this, I spent the whole time alternating between...

:rofl: :wow: :rofl: :wow: and that last one was :wow: :wow: :wow:


oh, and btw,

:yourock:

[AlienGirl]

81. That last one reads like the collaboration of Time Cube Guy and Crackspider

But the unfortunate person who wrote it really needs to get psychiatric help--which is easier said than done, since we don't have universal health coverage.

[maxpower]

83. Wow.......just wow

n/t

[OffWithTheirHeads]

84. HATE MAIL!!!!!!!!! Made my day

Now if we could only get Bob Bolderdang or Builderburg or whatever his name was back, my life would be complete...so stop saying that.

[Irishonly]

85. Hate Mail

You can't fix stupid.

[Hawkeye-X]

88. Yup. My donation wishlist has been granted!

:woohoo:

[Call Me Wesley]

89. WHY DO YOU PUBLISH MY PRIVATE MAIL?????

FACT (# !!11!!)!!

CINDERELLA SURELY HAS
THE LETTERS (C. A.)
IN IT, TOO!

AND (C. A.) IS THE MARK
OF THE BEAST
AS IT IS IN
B(A)R(A)(C)K OBAMA

I SLEEP IN A
BODY BAG
AND YOU CANT DO
ANYTHING AGAINST
IT!

WINNIE THE POOH
WILL KILL US
ALL!

BUT I HAVE
FOUND A CURE
AGAINST HONEY DISEASE.

I LOVE
CINDERELLA
I WISH SHE
WOULD REPLY TO MY
EMAILS
AND MARRY
ME.

SERISLY!!!111!!!

[chasitynola]

90. Holy Hannah

It really blows me away that these nutbags LOVE to throw around the 1st Amendment when they persecuted the Dixie Chicks for their statement about Bush. The hypocrisy is so thick I could cut it with a knife.

[my future me]

91. The last hate-mail to join some of my favorite zealots. .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOpva_iit-8

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWvIOPiKFrs

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lvU-DislkI&NR=1&feature=fvwp

[BlancheSplanchnik]

94. woa, that jeezus camp one was creeeeeepyyyyyyyy

and then the camp lady started speaking in tongues... holyyy crap!

to my favs list they go.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

95. My biggest :spray: :rofl: moment? "You win."

Great Work! Love you Admin-y guys. Guise. Giiz. Guy's. errrrr.......whatevah :crazy:

[smoogatz]

96. Words fail.

Holy crap.

[Buzz Clik]

97. Helter Skelter. Winnie the Pooh. Who knew?

[xxqqqzme]

98. Wow!

That last one from 'Reuben O'? He knows there is a 'B' & an 'O' in his name. Right? Or is it Right.?



I never knew a . was required before a ? That's why I love DU. Learn something new every day.

[eppur_se_muova]

99. O. M. G. And here I thought this was a fictional character --

We need a Crazy Cat Lady smiley !!!!!

[Sparkly]

100. Do these people have special keyboards that make their typing unintelligible?

It's amazing.

And the last one was like a poem, written by a paranoid nutjob on acid. :rofl:

[argyl]

101. Hate Mailbag.Welcome back,old friend. One of my faves when I first came to DU.

[Grinchie]

103. Aigh, my prediction of machine generated gibberish has come to pass.

The trouble is that nobody recognizes it from the truly ill psychopaths that actually have a brain so fucked up as to actually put this on paper.

To imagine that an individual can have thought processes so disconnected from reality is disturbing in it's own right.

It was written by Weston Price in the 1930's, that nutritional deformaties of the brain rendered 30% of the population unable to function without supervision. It is clear that he was correct, as we appear to have 100 million citizens that are afflicted with Brain Atrophy.

On my own experience, only 1 in ten people that I meet on a casual basis have any independant thought. Sure, they cam make small talk like their lives depended on it, but when anything interjects on their well rehearsed monologue, such as a question, they immediatley contract out of fear of their shallow pool of thought being drained.

[snud]

105. That last guy, "Reuben O", has inspired me

to put up my first post here at DU, even though I've been coming here for years.

Uh, Reuben... You do realize your own name contains the initials "B. O." don't you?

[Cleita]

107. That last one is...well...there are no words.

I don't know whether to laugh myself silly :rofl:, or be terrified that the author is still out there, unsupervised. :scared:

[onethatcares]

110. and to think they breed..................

gaud, help us all.

[TommyPaine]

111. How are these scraps of genetic flotsam even able to operate a PC in the first place?

Even a Fisher-Price kiddie computer would be too complicated for these morans.

[Enthusiast]

115. I know people like this.

I wouldn't dare have an Obama bumper sticker. I'm dead serious. They might make me squeal like a pig.

[Mad_Dem_X]

117. That last one - holy shit!

:wow: :crazy: :rofl:

[hippywife]

119. I really find very little in this to laugh about.

There's unbridled, dangerous hatred here and that last one is in such obvious need of mental care that it's truly sad.

It's a shame that there is such an unbridgeable divide in this country to this extreme. I know much of the vehemence is created and thrummed out to the masses by the right-wing hate machine, but I don't see how people on this side of the argument help things much by spouting similar sentiments, with possibly better spelling.

There is so little hope for peace when mean and ugly is countered with mean and ugly. :cry:

[proud patriot]

120. A couple of those just flabbergasted me

:wow:

[TheCowsCameHome]

122. Oh my, such great material.

How does one choose which loser is the fairest of them all?

[jmowreader]

125. Any chance Reuben will share his crack recipe with us?

Because that's some really fine crack he's on to write shit like that. It would be a shame to keep it a secret.

[donheld]

126. Mailbag rocks!

[ProudDad]

127. K&R

:rofl:

[DainBramaged]

129. Pussies and whimps

:applause: :rofl: :applause: :rofl: :applause: :rofl: :applause: :rofl: :applause: :rofl: :patriot:

[Cherchez la Femme]

130. Wowee, +10

or 2d6 crazy!

That 2nd to last one... all's I can say is, with such dependence on Wikipedia as the font of all knowledge,
is that letter any wonder?

The last one (what a letter, you hit the jackpot!) may have been onto something with 'skull and bones', but then he went the other way with the all too common evil Winnie-the-Pooh meme. Even inditing poor Pooh :(
But it can't be the way Winnie spells, seeing as their spelling lessons seems to have ended at his level.

Yet... Christopher Robin has 'Christ' in his name.
Would Winnie and CHRISTopher be best friends then? Or just more of the devils doing, indoctrinating children into Satanism with well-hidden B.O.?


In the spirit of the above letters, let me close with the exclamation:

ZOMG Im series, there to funy!!11!!1!1!!

[rasputin1952]

134. WOW, what a great Top 10...I love the Mailbag...

:D

As for the last one...just how much acid can one take before they overdose?...:rofl:

[NastyRiffraff]

135. Come on, EarlG, fess up

You made that last one up! You randomly threw together some words and typed them! Even the far right/wingnuts/rapture crackpots aren't that stupid!

Are they?

Oh, okay.

[bobhuntsman]

136. spellcheck is a commie plot!! n/t

[LiberalLovinLug]

137. The last one reminds me of Marguerite Perrin from Trading Spouses

How could so many people in America get so f*cked up?
Good for a laugh.

Also, a truth may actually have been spoken by the third contributor;
"the south won you just thank you did" as the majority of Dems in office still are cowed by the few southern Blue Dogs

[BirminghamExaminer]

138. OMG or should I say OHB or BHO or Winnie the Pooh

Have you noticed how all the freepers are practically illerate, or they're just plain crazy?

[katkat]

139. " I am reporting your Web to secret services"

This actually makes me sorry for the Secret Service. I wonder how many of these they get and have to check the senders out.

Plus, what's the density of complete lunatics walking around among us, somehow functioning enough to, like, eat and put clothes on in the morning.

I love DU, one of the few sane places left.

[knickertwister]

140. Mister Truthful

That guy sure gets around. Check him out over on http://www.anti-christ.com/?p=20

"SEN. BARACK OBAMA MAY BE THE ANTI-CHRIST BECAUSE:
HE COMES IN PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..."

and at http://www.topix.com/forum/topstories/TVGQVK8CULLVSPS1C/p5

"I BELIEVE THAT SEN. BARACK OBAMA IS THE ANTI-CHRIST THAT THE BIBLE TELLS US ABOUT BECAUSE:
1. IF WE ADD UP THE LETTERS IN HIS
FIRST, MIDDLE & LAST NAME, WE
WILL GET 666 IF WE USE SOME
UNDERSTANDING!

..."

*shudder*

This is why we need universal (mental) health care.

[Name removed]

141. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[classysassy]

142. More money for public schools

Recently the president proposed that mothers,that didn't finish school should return.I concur,but some of the good ole boys,should also return.