Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"We Should All Be Thankful For George W. This Thanksgiving and the War and Recession Are not His Fault, So Stop Saying That!"
November 23, 2001
by Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal...

Well another Thanksgiving holiday is here, when we remark how good and grateful God is for having us Americans on this planet we call the earth. Let us not forget when the Pilgrims first came on shore at Valley Forge they would have starved to death but God gave them the Indians who not only showed them how to grow corn and hunt game and fish, but were easily wiped out with guns which the Pilgrims had and the Indians didn't because they were heathens. In gratitude the Pilgrims instituted this great holiday that we celebrated yesterday.

As we look into our hearts and count our blessings this year unless we are atheist Socialist Democraps, let us think this year about all the things we all can be grateful for this year.

For one thing, we have the greatest President who did not steal the election on earth. When will you get it through your heads that votes don't count? It is the Electrical College that decides the president, and no-one can prove Jeb had anything to do with it. We can thank God that all those newspaper stories saying otherwise were not read by anyone because of the plane crash and the war. And that plane crash was just a routine accident so there is nothing to worry about.

George W. is leading us all to a great new world of peace and prosperity, although first he has to end the war against evil and get out of the recession. As we know both the war and the recession are the fault of Bill Clintoon who has not been in office this year but laid the seeds in the past for the failures now which are not George's. It is as clear as can be, unless you are a dishonest DemocRat or Moderate.

We can be glad President Bush was not hurt when he was attacked by that turkey the other day, and stop laughing. It was not funny. That turkey could have been trained by Osama Bin Laden himself to injure our great president or embarrass him in public except hardly anyone paid any attention so stop laughing.

I think that great Patriot John Ashcroft and Tom Ridge, the Director of Homely Security should investigate that turkey, and I am not kidding. I wrote to tell them both, and I told Secret Service Agent Brown that too. He is still investigating the vandalism and threats by the cowardly Socialists.

Just this week I saw him comparing magic markers to the vandalism on my locker at the bus station. I had posted the picture and wrote on it "Thank God President Bush Was Not Hurt." Well, you would not believe it, but some subversive terrorist wrote a speech balloon so the turkey said, "Hey, there's no nuts here!" which is not funny.

I am sure Agent Brown will soon track down who is behind this. I would not be surprised if he knows who it is already.

It is important that we do thank God this Thanksgiving because this week we are all just a little bit less safe, now that there will be professional airport security instead of the miracle of private enterprise like me. The day that President Bush signed the bill was a dark day for America, and when George W. said it would make holiday flying safer he was just trying to put a brave face on things. It was not a lie, so get that straight. He knows the airports would be safer with private security like me but when can one man do against Democrap and Moderate tyranny?

Meanwhile I have been let go from screening luggage for bombs which is a relief, since I was tired of being accused every time traveler's checks or a camera or a computer or a necklace or a CD player or a tape recorder or a leather coat or cufflinks or a Gameboy or earrings turned up missing in someone's suitcase. I am a veteran of Grenada and a Purple Heart winner, and you would think that would count for something, but I guess getting shot in the ass by friendly fire for your country means nothing anymore to our corrupt Democratic state government. I am not bitter but dammit all to hell, I ought to be. Mark my words, when they find out who did it which they won't, it will be terrorists. And the police did not even hold me overnight, so get that straight.

Anyway, we were all dismissed when the airport manager found Mr. Washington asleep in the cocktail lounge Monday at lunch, so it had nothing to do with me.

I am all caught up in rent at the trailer park now so Mr. Padnavatham invited me to his double-wide for Thanksgiving along with some old folks. All of the dishes we had had curry, which gave me gas, but what can you expect from someone mired in the darkness of Hindu, as Reverend Cloyd said. However, Mr. Padnavatham would still not let me watch Fox News as he wanted to watch the Macy parade instead. I have not told him I have lost my other part-time job and will shortly fall behind again so I did not argue. He deserves to enjoy himself once without worrying, and this was it.

In years passed, I would go to eat on Thanksgiving with the Free White Organization of God. Kenny's mom would make a turkey and when she went to bed we could drink indoors if we were quiet. But Kenny is still being the Ku Klux Klan and he and I are on the outs. So after dinner I went to the woods east of town to patrol all by myself and watch for terrorists and not just sit in a hole in the ground and get drunk, so stop saying that. It was cold but I had my new leather coat (which I did too buy but lost the receipt). And as I slept I had a dream of a new America.

It was an America where the racism of diversity and minorities was nonexistent. Where veterans such as myself was honored for our vigilance and duty, and cops could not take away our guns just because a few streetlights was shot out. Where family values was not menaced by the threat of Gayo-Americans having special rights like everyone else. Where freedom was a word and George W. was holding secret trials left and right without this whining about civil liberties. Where the DemocRats gloomy message of progress and tolerance was recognized as the Taliban propaganda that it is. Where everyone was taught the truth about the wrong side winning the Civil War and slavery had nothing to do with it.

It was the country we used to be and will be again, where everyone was responsible for themselves and there was no sniveling about rich people and big corporations not paying taxes. Where people came to their senses and realized pollution was harmless and that envirowhackos was the real danger.

Where Alex Baldwin went to France like he promised and Danny Glover went with him to wine and snivel about justice. Where the colleges were not filled with intellectuals and students but were places where patriotism is displayed openly. And where the claws of the eagle of honor and courage never ran but flew free forever around the world. And then this morning I woke up and it was the same crap as ever. You can't win, dammit.

Bob Boudelang is an American patriot who wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving even if you are part of the tree huggers, the gays, the blacks, the Pacifists, the femiNazis, the Hispanish, the Orientals, the gun-grabbers, the union sympathizers, the LIEberals, the moderates, the product safety people, the public school pimps, the health nuts, the media, the economists, the intellectuals, the Jews, the atheists, the ACLU or any of the rest of the tiny leftish minority that is ruining this country for good law-abiding people, You can't prove he didn't buy that coat.

Read Bob's other rebuttals