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Ask
Auntie Pinko
January
17, 2002
Dear Auntie Pinko,
How exactly does Bush's Economic Stimulus Plan intend
to work, considering it is very similar to ones drafted by
Reagan that failed in the 1980s?
Wilson,
North Huntingdon, PA
Dear Wilson,
Economics is a very complex and abstruse discipline. And
an honest economist will freely admit that there are no certainties
in macroeconomic models the size and intricacy of a national
economy. So, of course, there is a chance that huge
government handouts to wealthy people and big corporations,
vast military expenditures, high unemployment, and deficit
spending just might, indeed, "stimulate" the economy.
And Auntie Pinko would remind you, Wilson, that Mr. Bush's
administration's Economic Stimulus Plan is not really the
same as Mr. Reagan's. After all, we all know how Mr. Reagan's
plan was supposed to work: Make it possible for those at the
top of the economic pyramid to amass even larger amounts of
wealth, and somehow or other they will end up sharing it with
the rest of us through "investing" it in new enterprises that
will employ people in the middle and bottom of the pyramid.
And we know why it didn't work, don't we? Because those people
at the top of the economic pyramid very sensibly took a look
at the Democratic-initiated "socialist" laws that governed
business enterprises in America, and either sat on their money,
consumed it in luxury spending that created no real economic
growth, or invested it in places that didn't have such pesky,
profit-reducing laws. After all, laws that gave labor a modest
leverage in determining pay, benefits, and working conditions
meant that American businesses simply couldn't be competitive.
And laws that mandated safe working conditions, equal rights,
compensation for work-related injury, and other frivolous,
expensive profit-cutters made doing business in America even
less attractive for anyone wealthy enough to have alternatives.
But thanks to twelve years of hard work from Mr. Reagan and
Mr. Bush, Senior, and the valiant efforts of the Congress
under Mr. Gingrich, Mr. Hastert, and their visionary colleagues
during Mr. Clinton's disastrous eight-year devastation of
the economy, we now have very different conditions for Mr.
Bush, Junior's Economic Stimulus Plan. We've largely removed
any real leverage from those pesky Unions, for one thing.
And thanks to the brilliant judicial construction of Mr. Rehnquist,
Mr. Scalia, et al, we've generally curbed or eliminated most
of those other ridiculous restraints on our Captains of Industry.
Why, just lately they ensured that businesses would no longer
have to spend any money or effort to accommodate those irritating
disabled people who keep insisting they want to work, for
heaven's sake.
So as you can see, the conditions now are much superior
to what they were when Mr. Reagan and his administration were
benevolently attempting to trickle on us.
Stand under the nearest multinational corporation, Wilson,
and open your mouth-this time you may catch a drop or two!
And thank you for asking Auntie Pinko!
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