'W' is for 'Wisdom'
A few months back, we seemed to be in a contest with the
Dark Side to come up with what the "W" stood for. I guess
we lost that contest when some of our best and brightest choked
on their snot from laughing so hard at our opponents' perverse
notion that it stood for "women." Were our adversaries not
taking this game seriously? It's quite possible. Look at how
seriously their leader takes his new job.
So, I was not at all prepared for the revelation I had last
week during an episode of "The News Hour with Jim Lehrer."
Even more frightening, it came to me as I was listening to
conservative commentator Paul Gigot.
"W" stands for wisdom.
It may sound like an outrageous idea, but let me explain.
I would never in a million years suggest that Bush possessed
an ounce of wisdom. In fact, my sister and I are still debating
whether his mental age is 9 or 14, but we both know he comes
nowhere near the mental age of our father, who was born the
same year. And our father, bright as he is, likes to call
himself "The Kid," so it's not as if we put the poor shrub
up against unfair competition.
This man, who makes even Dan Quayle look intelligent, stands
for wisdom because that is what he will bring to this country.
I like to think that he will be the downfall of the Republican
Party, though I know that's not very realistic. After all,
Nixon and Reagan weren't its downfall, either. Heck, they
even won re-election!
Short of that, however, our [insert favorite derogatory title
here] can teach us valuable lessons. He has already shown
that a life of failure does not rule out future opportunities
for achievement (if you're well-connected). We are beginning
to learn that neither what you say (nothing) nor how you say
it (badly) is as important as the spin your media whores put
on it. Along the way, though, a few grammar lessons never
hurt (we even had Gigot criticizing him for erroneous use
of the nominative case!).
Curious George goes on his daily adventures, always teaching
us by example what not to do. This is better than a children's
book, because we all prefer watching television to reading.
Citizens of all ages can tune in to their network of choice
and learn every night during prime time, right after the Clinton
scandal du jour (is it still called prime time if it's on
This one-two punch of Clinton-Bush news reinforces the message
and aids in learning. We may even come out of these four years
more unified, more passionate, and more vocal. We'll denounce
hypocrisy and corruption, instead of waiting for our own legislators
to do so. We'll have scars from this doomed relationship,
to be sure, but we will emerge wiser than before.
Our wisdom-inspiring puppet believes that the Bush administration
"will make America what we want it to be - a literate country
and a hopefuller country."
He may be right. Despite, or rather, because of, how illiterate
and hopeless he is himself.