Okay. That did NOT go well. [View all]

[Vanje]

How on earth did I get these bruises?
Am I lying on the porch?...In vomit?
What is a baked ham doing on the front lawn, and why isnt anyone speaking to me?

I behaved badly last weekend. Very badly.

I probably lost some friends.


Before, though, I did manage to go 10 days without a drink.
The first week was okay. I optimistically searched for a meeting, but no one was there. The Grange Hall was dark on meeting night and the door was locked. Perhaps they went to Karaoke night at the Round Up Room.

I have a lot of sad painful angry lonesome bad-ass shit going on with me these days, even ASIDE from the drinking.The second sober week just sucked the joy right out of me.
So I drank . (and apparently cooked a ham.)

Those people still speaking to me, were frightened, and worried, and don't want me to die or be sad anymore.

I'm better off than I thought I was. These are GOOD FRIENDS! I had though they had written me off.(oH great. I'm crying)

I will see a recommended counselor, find a meeting, and I've already gotten some coaching from a veteran 12-stepper, who has seen and heard EVERYTHING!
I got a lot of candy, and some ice-cream, and I'm not drinking tonight.

Lets see what can be salvaged from this hot mess.
That ham is a total loss.