LGBT
In reply to the discussion: Male erotica in the LGBT group: Why now? What's changed? [View all]Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)is that absent an intent and hard work to be inclusive, many lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender individuals often feel unwelcome in LGBT groups. We've had to work through that in virtually every real life LGBT group in which I have been a participant because there are cultural differences - and if we are honest internal prejudices and hierarchies. Unless people are intentional about it, the gay male norm becomes the norm for the group - which does not always feel very welcoming to people who are not gay males.
The same thing happens in groups in the general population in real life. There are any number of groups I have been part of which have looked around and said, "Why is the group so white? Everyone who is interested in {name the cause} is welcome?" If we bother to ask, we often find out that there are a variety of reasons why racial minorities don't feel welcome even when we intend to (and try to) extend an invitation. Saying everyone is welcome - even with the best intentions in the world - isn't the same as doing the hard work it takes to really figure out how to make the "other" feel welcome.
As to Queerart, that's easy pickings from a welcoming perspective. The LGBT group is a safe haven group - and Queerart launched an attack, which included a homophobic stereotype directed at lesbians - in the middle of a conversation about (among other things) whether this space really feels welcoming to lesbians.
If Queerart had been straight, telling a lesbian she was a man-hater would have earned him an immediate block from the group. While I don't really expect him to be blocked, I do expect at least a visible response from the hosts. The lack of response, particularly under the circumstances in which the attack was made, is just a tangible example of the general feeling I have that this space is mostly gay male space in which the rest of us are tolerated guests.
The rest is a lot less concrete.
I am (generally - in both real-life and in a mixed online/real life community) pretty heavily invested in raising awareness about diversity issues, specifically about exploring why our communities aren't as diverse as we might like them to be, and what changes we can make to so it as easy and inviting for minority members to participate as fully as it is for majority members. So my investment in the general principle, combined with a thread which caught my attention in connection with this issue prompted my first two responses. The attack by Queerart, and the implicit message in the silence which followed it, are driving my continued participation in this thread. I'm just kind of astounded that with that blatant an example of something that might make lesbians not feel particularly welcome here, I'm still getting the "how dare you not feel welcome" reaction. And - FWIW - the list of women who have expressed feelings similar to mine with regard to the threads is growing quietly in the middle of this thread.
As to this specific group, I don't have a lot of investment in changing this particular LGBT group. In the big picture, whether this particular group feels welcoming to me, a part of which is whether it decides to keep beefcake threads, isn't a major issue for me. Right now - it feels far less welcoming than when this thread started - and I have lots of other places that meet any need this group could fill.
The group can either take a look around and notice that there really aren't very many women posting here (as near as I can tell), and wonder why, or whether that is a good thing, or it can continue as is.
It is in that context that I made the comment about knowing why one lesbian is an infrequent poster - not because I would expect you to care about me, specifically, but if you ever start wondering why the group is so male (and think that is a bad thing) it is information that might provide a starting point to figure it out. And to just clarify it isn't the beefcake threads, in isolation, that keep me an infrequent poster. It is the atmosphere in which they exist - of which Queerart's homophobic attack and the silence that followed are a concrete illustration.