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[Xithras]

27. Attractive or sexually attractive? Nobody should lust after a child.

There's a difference between finding someone attractive (you think they're pretty) and finding someone sexually attractive (they turn you on sexually). I recognized that some of my daughters friends were attractive when they were 15-16, but there was no sexual attraction. They were pretty, and that was it. Nowadays I consider some of my now-20 year old daughters friends to be sexually attractive, and I had countless young college students in my lectures over the years who I considered to be sexually attractive, but they were all adults. Young adults, but still adults.

If you're lusting after kids, it's ALWAYS creepy. When you're talking about adults, creepiness is more a matter of behavior than thoughts. There's nothing wrong with recognizing that a young woman is sexually attractive, but there is something VERY wrong with communicating that attraction in a way she dislikes. Most 20 year old women don't want to be hit on by 45 year old men. Appreciating beauty is one thing, but when it devolves into flirting, leering, or catcalls, you've crossed the border into Creepytown.

And never forget the "Man Law". My dad taught me this when I was a teenager. If you want to know the minimum age that you can flirt with without being "creepy", follow this rule: Divide your age in half, rounding down if needed, and add 7.

In other words, if you're 13, you shouldn't be hitting on girls under 13.

At 16, your minimum is 15.

If you're 20, your bottom age is 17.

If you're 30, leave them alone if they're under 22.

If you're 60, you can flirt with 37 year olds.

Anything under that and you're opening yourself up to accusations of pervyness. While love knows no age boundaries, young women on the street don't like it when little old men try to pick them up.