Latest Breaking News
In reply to the discussion: NJ court ruling blocking newborn's dad from delivery room is first in nation [View all]avebury
(10,961 posts)delivery issue. But it would have gone a long way towards trying to develop harmony if she has worked it out with him ahead of time that "While I really need to go through my delivery by myself I will have ____________ (fill in the blank with whomever you want to make the call) let you know when the baby is born. I want you to have an opportunity to come up to the hospital to meet your child and hold him/her and we work work on making arrangements for you to have a longer visit once we get out of the hospital."
These are two adults who. like it or not, are now bound together for life because they have a child together. This does not mean that they have to live together or love each other but maybe they could work on respecting each other as a good parent who loves his/her child. It should mean that they should work out, as best as is possible, a harmonious relationship for the sake of their child. As long as they are bot fit parents they need to focus on giving their child a good atmosphere to grow up in and try to keep any animosity out of the picture. They need to think long term harmony and negotiation. It is all about negotiation and picking your battles. Would it have killed her to let him know that he would be told when the baby was born and that he would be welcome to come meet the baby and give him a promise of a longer visit in a few days? Not knowing what her support system was she might have ended up appreciating having someone to rock the baby and let her take a nap once she is home. It is hard for new mothers to get a lot of rest. She has missed the big picture, i.e. take advantage of whatever help you can get.
I remember when my nephew was born. When the time came for my Brother to bring his wife and son home, his wife heard their son do a pretty loud poop while she was in the bathroom. She laughed that she wasn't coming out of the bathroom until Robert got his diaper changed. My brother gave his son his first bath at home. My brother was a very hands on dad (much to all of our pleasant surprise, particularly since he is not good at hospitals and couldn't stay in the delivery room for the birth of either of his children). My best friend and her husband didn't want to use child care when both of their children were born and her husband was the one who stayed at home with both babies (he was able to work out of the house). So I don't belittle the role that fathers can play in their children's lives.