General Discussion

lapislzi

(5,762 posts)

29. Thank you for sharing.

Mon Jun 18, 2012, 11:45 AM

Jun 2012

You gave your undeserving father a great gift, and that elevates your humanity. I went through a similar dysfunctional upbringing, and I truly understand what you went through. As angry as I had been at my parents, I forgave them before they died. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that when the anger rises again, but anger is only useful when it reminds you to do better with your own children.

Bless you.

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45 replies

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Highlight:

Father's Day reflection from a daughter of domestic abuse [View all] HockeyMom Jun 2012 OP

Thank you for this. puts things into perspctive in a good way. robinlynne Jun 2012 #1

Glad you were able to forgive him. eom tawadi Jun 2012 #2

My father left my mother with 5 kids and never came back. I saw him a few times before he libinnyandia Jun 2012 #3

My Grandma was a Widow HockeyMom Jun 2012 #6

. Mojorabbit Jun 2012 #4

I'm balling..... a kennedy Jun 2012 #5

My dear HockeyMom... CaliforniaPeggy Jun 2012 #7

So glad you were able to forgive him. siligut Jun 2012 #8

Thanks for sharing that lunatica Jun 2012 #9

Beautiful post, HockeyMom pinboy3niner Jun 2012 #10

OMG, I got tears in my eyes from reading that! Odin2005 Jun 2012 #11

I got a glimpse of the real man my Dad was HockeyMom Jun 2012 #12

Your post brought a real tear to my eye. Great sentiment and good writing. kayakjohnny Jun 2012 #13

Thank you for this story. I'm bawling too. LiberalLoner Jun 2012 #14

Seriously made me tear up a little there Tommykun Jun 2012 #15

''Infinite unconditional love is the only truth. Everything else is illusion.'' - K&R n/t DeSwiss Jun 2012 #16

... RainDog Jun 2012 #17

I don't know if my dad physically abused my mother cali Jun 2012 #18

Forgiveness is hard when the person who needs the forgiveness won't change or ask for it mythology Jun 2012 #19

I don't blame you. Just because you share DNA with somebody doesn't mean you have to have them in raccoon Jun 2012 #32

This. redqueen Jun 2012 #34

Same situation I faced with my mom. Though truedelphi Jun 2012 #38

I don't know if this has any relevance for you quakerboy Jun 2012 #41

thank you. cali Jun 2012 #43

My dear friend, you did what you had to do Demeter Jun 2012 #20

Thanks. mmonk Jun 2012 #21

You are able to live with yourself as a result of this and not carry it forward. glinda Jun 2012 #22

#43 Thank you Hockey Mom ManyShadesOf Jun 2012 #23

Thanks for posting. My father was a violent alcoholic too. raccoon Jun 2012 #24

That is very inspirational... CoffeeCat Jun 2012 #25

"Vets were not given counseling" I wonder if this was the real problem. Zalatix Jun 2012 #26

This! SaB2012 Jun 2012 #27

I've always wondered if things would be different if men were allowed to talk malaise Jun 2012 #28

I don't know how much talking would help quakerboy Jun 2012 #42

Thank you for sharing. lapislzi Jun 2012 #29

I'm glad things worked out as well as they did; snot Jun 2012 #30

I dont know my dad Garion_55 Jun 2012 #31

I'm so sorry to hear about that. AverageJoe90 Jun 2012 #33

+1 JDPriestly Jun 2012 #35

Thank you so much for sharing libodem Jun 2012 #36

I had super lousy parents...super grand in-laws. Tikki Jun 2012 #37

Thank you to my fellow DUers HockeyMom Jun 2012 #39

Thanks for sharing this politicasista Jun 2012 #40

Right there with you... Javaman Jun 2012 #44

My mother was great kurtzapril4 Jun 2012 #45