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ProudToBeBlueInRhody

(16,399 posts)

109. I bet there are far more guys who fall for the "meet me at my house" stuff than women

Tue Apr 7, 2015, 12:29 PM

Apr 2015

Why just the other day....

http://www.record-eagle.com/news/local_news/man-lured-to-home-attacked-with-bat/article_7921a890-4b23-5739-b5a9-8c9293c592af.html

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A cartoon about rape culture and risk [View all] Brickbat Apr 2015 OP

Very powerful cartoon Gothmog Apr 2015 #1

you you you feminists say we are all potential rapists. end of cartoon, and still she is blamed seabeyond Apr 2015 #2

K & R. n/t FSogol Apr 2015 #3

If all personal relations ended with "It's not my job to communicate my feelings..." Bonobo Apr 2015 #4

Victim-blaming makes a lot more sense if you think that "let's meet in public" means "I think you're Brickbat Apr 2015 #5

Who is the victim blamer here? Who is the victim? Bonobo Apr 2015 #8

Clearly you missed this part: eggplant Apr 2015 #14

I already told you that I do understand her position and feelings. Bonobo Apr 2015 #15

No. Trust is earned. eggplant Apr 2015 #19

She owes him nothing. He owes her nothing. It's a wash. Bonobo Apr 2015 #23

She communicated. he was unwilling to accept. hence, her walking. you got that right seabeyond Apr 2015 #27

"It's not my fucking job to educate you." Bonobo Apr 2015 #29

wow, you are kinda give us exactly the same example of that man, and the conclusion..... not my job seabeyond Apr 2015 #32

she was patient thru out the whole thing, politely taking his feelers into consideration. seabeyond Apr 2015 #34

You did not have to engage in this subthread for this long, Seabeyond. Bonobo Apr 2015 #38

nor did i suggest you controlled me at all, so bogus statement. you are WANTING this man seabeyond Apr 2015 #42

He neither ignored her nor got his way. Bonobo Apr 2015 #36

he ignored her to TRY and get his way. she walked. seabeyond Apr 2015 #37

You need to stop portraying women as having no agency. Bonobo Apr 2015 #41

you need to stop creating false statement attributed to me. the woman exhibited her agency, seabeyond Apr 2015 #43

She had no responsibility to the man. Bonobo Apr 2015 #46

you and i agree. she had no responsibility to man so quit trying to make her. have a good day. seabeyond Apr 2015 #57

Night time for me. Bonobo Apr 2015 #58

"She is in the position of power here and she claims it. Good for her. " seabeyond Apr 2015 #40

Uh, no that is what I just said, not you. Bonobo Apr 2015 #44

No, I can read just fine. eggplant Apr 2015 #39

because in this case the person with "empathy" hopemountain Apr 2015 #161

Yeah, especially when this is a guy who completely ignores her feelings in the first place, cui bono Apr 2015 #199

If a guy is that fucking stupid pintobean Apr 2015 #97

... he SHOULD never get a date. fixed it. seabeyond Apr 2015 #100

So let's attempt to equalize the risk, shall we? thucythucy Apr 2015 #145

His position, after he gets over the hurt, might be that he understands why it wasn't personal Gormy Cuss Apr 2015 #181

She doesn't know him, why should she trust him? cui bono Apr 2015 #192

I never even said she SHOULD trust him. Bonobo Apr 2015 #195

She suggested a few times to meet somewhere public and he refused and continued to state cui bono Apr 2015 #198

Look. I am not that invested. Bonobo Apr 2015 #201

But you seemed adamant that the woman owed the man some sort of discussion for some reason. cui bono Apr 2015 #204

Not at all. Just read my posts and you will see I actually said over and over Bonobo Apr 2015 #205

Only people who have read your posts would read adamant into your JTFrog Apr 2015 #208

Men are the victims of murder at the hands of police, that's right. Bonobo Apr 2015 #211

I don't have a problem with facts. JTFrog Apr 2015 #213

Some women. Some. Bonobo Apr 2015 #215

Yea, those with a functional brain and a survival instinct apparently. n/t JTFrog Apr 2015 #216

right. the ONE argument i didnt address in this thread. the whole damn SOME thing. that a handful seabeyond Apr 2015 #217

you could not get the sympathy for men, cause the woman finally said fuck it. so now, you DEMAND seabeyond Apr 2015 #218

You've gone off the tracks in all seriousness. Bonobo Apr 2015 #219

you just simply cannot shift this to women's fault dude. one way or another. seabeyond Apr 2015 #221

so fuggin' funny. are you really throwing in the emotionally/mentally unstable. what is it you men seabeyond Apr 2015 #222

I apologize if I misrepresented you as "adamant". I honestly can't see how anyone could possibly cui bono Apr 2015 #224

I'd suggest that he keep those feelings to himself. stone space Apr 2015 #80

she did. communicate her feelings... BlancheSplanchnik Apr 2015 #160

Uh huh. eggplant Apr 2015 #10

god forbid a man get his feebles hurt. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #49

It's amazing, isn't it? YoungDemCA Apr 2015 #52

and somehow we are supposed to "care" about some stranger's feebles when Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #65

I don't know, at this point in the conversation whether I am already too tired or too bored seabeyond Apr 2015 #84

You are doing sunflowers this year? cool. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #90

Yes - well i think the strip did a pretty good job of addressing that particular concern el_bryanto Apr 2015 #11

Absolutely, that is why I said EXACTLY the same thing above. Bonobo Apr 2015 #12

Sorry, but that's just complete bullshit. eggplant Apr 2015 #16

Sorry that is not really explaining her feelings. Bonobo Apr 2015 #18

if she explains he is a potential RAPIST.... then all hell breaks loose and men go crazy seabeyond Apr 2015 #22

She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want. Bonobo Apr 2015 #26

no. you are beyond questioning a supposed weird statement. that is not weird at all, seabeyond Apr 2015 #28

I'm sorry that is exactly what I am questioning. Bonobo Apr 2015 #33

He completely transgressed on her boundaries. eggplant Apr 2015 #45

No he didn't. Reread the cartoon. Bonobo Apr 2015 #50

You're kidding, right? eggplant Apr 2015 #60

thumbs up. maybe we just had to be in the position of priorities the mans feelings, .... seabeyond Apr 2015 #64

Not at all, Seabeyond. Bonobo Apr 2015 #73

Much as him ignoring her repeated requests to meet in a public spot? LanternWaste Apr 2015 #85

I didn't say she made an error, eggplant. Bonobo Apr 2015 #66

No, you pretty much did. eggplant Apr 2015 #70

That's not an "error", eggplant. Bonobo Apr 2015 #76

Yeah - kind of creepy how he brought up rapists. whopis01 Apr 2015 #144

creepy is right! hopemountain Apr 2015 #164

I was thinking the same thing. yardwork Apr 2015 #168

excellent points, yardwork. hopemountain Apr 2015 #173

All the stars! Starry Messenger Apr 2015 #182

+1 pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #202

She didn't fail to do anything. eggplant Apr 2015 #24

This seems like a pretty clear description of her feelings to me. stone space Apr 2015 #48

Well, if the guy has ulterior motives... YoungDemCA Apr 2015 #55

who is ocncerned by being raped, after all, and her responsibility to PREVENT that fuggin rape. seabeyond Apr 2015 #61

+1 yardwork Apr 2015 #169

..... YoungDemCA Apr 2015 #47

Why would a "nice guy" insist on having a first meeting at his place? XemaSab Apr 2015 #51

Not all men are nice guys and not all women are nice girls. nt Bonobo Apr 2015 #54

WTF does that even mean? eggplant Apr 2015 #63

False equivalency YoungDemCA Apr 2015 #68

That's exactly the point, though YoungDemCA Apr 2015 #62

almost like the three yr old, being at fault, for her rape, in another fuckin thread. seabeyond Apr 2015 #75

"Boo fucking hoo." point. no more to be said. oh.... besides ALL the other shit you said, lol. seabeyond Apr 2015 #69

totally fucking amazing. i have to walk from the thread, and du... while i breathe. seabeyond Apr 2015 #71

Very very very low anger threshold you have. nt Bonobo Apr 2015 #79

ya. when we are talking ignore women's rape? ya. kinda like not feeling sorry for a man in garage seabeyond Apr 2015 #87

You have this down to a fine art. I've read what you said, and you are very very invested... Hekate Apr 2015 #112

+1 Starry Messenger Apr 2015 #146

self deleting Skittles Apr 2015 #156

That sounds like the creepiest first date I can imagine. hughee99 Apr 2015 #124

Wow tazkcmo Apr 2015 #77

I think you're slightly off here, Bonobo justiceischeap Apr 2015 #88

Exactly jeff47 Apr 2015 #132

police stations are opening their premises for craig's list meets. mopinko Apr 2015 #157

He could just meet her in public treestar Apr 2015 #91

Bad timing, bad choice of places to make this theoretically valid point. TygrBright Apr 2015 #95

ya dude. you are right, except you are not. i think that makes communication a little easier. seabeyond Apr 2015 #96

Aside from not being a dude, I take your point. TygrBright Apr 2015 #103

i know you are not a dude. i was taking your position talking to bonobo. seabeyond Apr 2015 #106

How sad and predictable. n/t JTFrog Apr 2015 #99

"What men fear most about women? Buzz cook Apr 2015 #139

So, lets use an analogy. KitSileya Apr 2015 #140

And yet here on this thread thucythucy Apr 2015 #147

Lol. Guy acts creepy and disregards woman's well-founded safety concerns, and it becomes geek tragedy Apr 2015 #151

If HE understood her feelings HE would not have HIS feelings. Glassunion Apr 2015 #162

Actually... On a re-read of your post, I'd like to point out a shitty point that was made. Glassunion Apr 2015 #166

Here, let me graph out your post so everyone can see the complex message you presented, visually Scootaloo Apr 2015 #177

K & R historylovr Apr 2015 #6

always drink from the bottle - don't do mixed drinks and don't accept a drink. keep your eye samsingh Apr 2015 #7

take it into the toilet with you to guard that drink. dance? well buy a new drink every time you get seabeyond Apr 2015 #13

it's not about fault but protection. the fault is the idiots who would put something in anyone's samsingh Apr 2015 #17

your right. and lets also look at the ridiculousness that a woman has to go thru, to seabeyond Apr 2015 #25

you are absolutely correct. samsingh Apr 2015 #116

No, hurt anyone's feelings that you want. Bonobo Apr 2015 #21

As XemaSab pointed out, the guy in this scenario is acting like a creep YoungDemCA Apr 2015 #67

And she's telepathic, so she knows he's innocent, right? jeff47 Apr 2015 #138

He was pressuring her into being alone with him the first time she meets him when she stated gollygee Apr 2015 #149

Good discussion of risk NJCher Apr 2015 #9

other risk assessments men don't have to make central scrutinizer Apr 2015 #20

I'm just curious, is this in a generally-unsafe area? MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #31

really manny? when was your day? and how often did you have conversation with these women? seabeyond Apr 2015 #53

Don't mind him YoungDemCA Apr 2015 #59

yes young. i learned a while ago, out of blue, that manny wasnt too concerned about my issues. seabeyond Apr 2015 #82

Yep, yep and yep. ALL of that. Number23 Apr 2015 #197

1980s, I knew many, MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #123

oboxious? you acuse me of being obnoxious? you are a man telling me us young women were not seabeyond Apr 2015 #126

That's absolutely not what I said. MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #128

oh, manny. ya. whatever. seabeyond Apr 2015 #130

This survived a jury 1 to 6. hrmjustin Apr 2015 #134

Jury comments, FYI Auggie Apr 2015 #135

All you have to do is watch the news to see how many assaults occur on women on campuses. cui bono Apr 2015 #200

I started college in 1968, and we were VERY concerned about rape, and I knew women who were raped tblue37 Apr 2015 #207

I was in college in the late '60s, and it was known there was some creep hanging out in the stacks Hekate Apr 2015 #122

I guess I went to school with many ignorant women, then. nt MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #125

Indeed, you're 'guessing.' LanternWaste Apr 2015 #137

Did you ever ask? We internalize the message, yet don't want to make men uncomfortable.... Hekate Apr 2015 #158

I just asked my wife, who I met at school... MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #163

so the answer is yes.... she was concerned. be it ten at night, or making trip while concerned. seabeyond Apr 2015 #172

Well, if you look at my original question, and MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #180

wow. now he slights all women, dismissing your post, while accusing me of obnoxious! interesting. nt seabeyond Apr 2015 #127

oh oh oh, while the question is.... did you listen to the women of your time? while he seabeyond Apr 2015 #129

I make it a practice to never engage with this particular poster.... Hekate Apr 2015 #131

i hear ya.... kinda my position as well. seabeyond Apr 2015 #133

Jury Results. AtheistCrusader Apr 2015 #141

Thank you for letting me know of this event and its result Hekate Apr 2015 #142

When were you in college? gollygee Apr 2015 #150

All answered above. nt MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #153

Rape doesn't just happen in "unsafe areas." thucythucy Apr 2015 #193

I didn't write that it does, MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #214

If someone needs to be educated on the importance of MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #30

If I were single, and wanted to meet a woman who I only knew over the internet, then I'd... stone space Apr 2015 #56

It's odd that many of the same people who tell us that females must take on a measure... LanternWaste Apr 2015 #35

exacty. exactly latern. thank you. i sit in the duh... of this. and this is far from the first seabeyond Apr 2015 #92

+1 fishwax Apr 2015 #212

Hey, the man is facing risks, too! She might laugh at him. tclambert Apr 2015 #72

Excellent point there. Hekate Apr 2015 #159

Very good. cwydro Apr 2015 #74

That's a great cartoon. nt ZombieHorde Apr 2015 #78

My mother was female guillaumeb Apr 2015 #81

Meh. I'm a guy and I wouldn't meet a woman I met on the internet at her house either. redgreenandblue Apr 2015 #83

I bet there are far more guys who fall for the "meet me at my house" stuff than women ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2015 #109

I don't know if that cartoon dude is a rapist, but he's clearly an asshole. Orrex Apr 2015 #86

The guy who insists on those conditions treestar Apr 2015 #89

Do you think that the fear of rape is greater than it was 30 years ago? lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #93

Hard to say about fear. The awareness is certainly greater, as well as the understanding of what Brickbat Apr 2015 #94

When I think back to that time, perhaps people were naive. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #98

how steeply factoring in mans manipulation of numbers, raPE KITS IGNORED, police reports dismissed, seabeyond Apr 2015 #101

really jeff, lets now take this conversation to false rapes, decline of rapes, dismissing rapes. seabeyond Apr 2015 #104

"Losing the default assumption of humanity has a cost as well." Brickbat Apr 2015 #105

Yes. The kind of risk assessment described by the cartoon has a cost. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #110

So the greater awareness of the prevalence of actual occurances of rape is bad because it brings Brickbat Apr 2015 #120

a) I doubt that we are all aware of the actual prevalence. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #136

The man had no compassion or humanity from the get go. He ignored her extremely reasonable request cui bono Apr 2015 #203

As a cartoon, I anticipate this was a work of fiction. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #223

While the overall number of violent crimes is dropping in Dallas, rape is on the rise derby378 Apr 2015 #107

I suppose it's a good thing I'm not a woman. After the 3rd line, I'd tell him to politely fuck Off. BlueJazz Apr 2015 #102

then she is just the b word. no two ways about it. why wont they be nicer to the "nice" guys. seabeyond Apr 2015 #108

It's a full moon and this wonderful guy has invited me over to his den (Ok..Ok..He's part werewolf) BlueJazz Apr 2015 #115

you know. women have rape fantasies, after all.... seabeyond Apr 2015 #117

ya ya ya. one more. women rape men too.... i have heard it twice this weekend from young men. ... seabeyond Apr 2015 #111

Maybe it is just me, but I find it creepy that he would want to take her home for a first date. Rex Apr 2015 #119

Louis CK says it best Chalco Apr 2015 #113

+1. nt seabeyond Apr 2015 #118

That is so awesome wryter2000 Apr 2015 #154

I'm late to this party but this guy says it all! Big K&R! Nt riderinthestorm Apr 2015 #178

Exceptionally powerful, truthful, and real. Should be required reading. nt Hekate Apr 2015 #114

Risk vs consequences. A very succinct and compelling way to put it Ratty Apr 2015 #121

Yes! It has someone who uses a wheelchair! KamaAina Apr 2015 #143

Yes! thucythucy Apr 2015 #148

I'd have been done, too. Prism Apr 2015 #152

I don't see what's so difficult here shaayecanaan Apr 2015 #155

No sturm und drang in that. MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #165

I know, I don't know what came over me shaayecanaan Apr 2015 #167

except you participated in the crap. now you distance yourself from the crap. seabeyond Apr 2015 #175

I simply asked a question I was curious about. MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #179

charming. you dismiss women, then ignore women, then insult women. nt seabeyond Apr 2015 #183

I never dismiss, ignore, nor insult women as a whole. MannyGoldstein Apr 2015 #186

Exactly. It's painful when some don't realize that, and take offense. Brickbat Apr 2015 #170

is this available in print? hopemountain Apr 2015 #171

I can't believe I didn't include the link! Brickbat Apr 2015 #174

Yes, living with rape culture *does* seem insanely complicated . . . MrModerate Apr 2015 #176

before teh 80's there was not even a name for it, wasnt called rape. date rape only started seabeyond Apr 2015 #184

Well, I was on the cusp of the 70s . . . MrModerate Apr 2015 #187

I'm sorry to say I think most men then thucythucy Apr 2015 #185

I marvel at the innocence of my cohort . . . MrModerate Apr 2015 #188

I wish you and your daughter thucythucy Apr 2015 #191

"I'll cut his balls off" seems like an appropriate response. ncjustice80 Apr 2015 #189

Approproate perhaps, thucythucy Apr 2015 #190

So what you re saying is... ncjustice80 Apr 2015 #209

This was great! Am sending it to all my female family members. Thank you. lexington filly Apr 2015 #194

Kick and R. BeanMusical Apr 2015 #196

Umm................ no, I don't like this. raven mad Apr 2015 #206

I don't think it's supposed to match every rape experience. Brickbat Apr 2015 #210

off putting at the least, men telling us we did not have to concern ourselves with rape in the past. seabeyond Apr 2015 #220