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In reply to the discussion: "She's gonna be the girl who cried 'rape,' and we'll never be allowed into any frat party again." [View all]LeftyMom
(49,212 posts)17. In this culture I'm not at all convinced it's a given.
Further, your framing is unrealistic. Pushing her not to report was terrible, and doing it for such self-interested reasons especially so. But even if she had reported the chances that anything would have been done are sadly small. Blaming the friends for giving the victim bad advice- and they gave terrible, self-interested advice- is just victim blaming by proxy.
The condemnation needs to be of the rapists.
The culture won't change as long as we dance around the periphery of the issue. Rape isn't caused by failure to report rape, it's caused by rapists. If her rapists continued in their behavior it's not because she didn't report. It's because they chose to rape.
Period.
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"She's gonna be the girl who cried 'rape,' and we'll never be allowed into any frat party again." [View all]
kpete
Nov 2014
OP
YES! And maybe those after you would not have had horrible things happen to them.
BlueJazz
Nov 2014
#122
Some of the comments at RS are deplorable. Total denial of the facts of rape.
JanMichael
Nov 2014
#116
There was a promising period through the early sixties to early seventies, when being a G.D.I.
maddiemom
Nov 2014
#136
He's what's called a sociopath and he will probably become a banker or a politician.
Dont call me Shirley
Nov 2014
#13
So the sins of the Fathers continues on. Human consciousness must rise above all forms of attack.
Dont call me Shirley
Nov 2014
#31
OK, Sally Hemmings as Jefferson's slave mistress is historical fact. Even creepier,
maddiemom
Nov 2014
#137
It's out there, as well as, his extravagant lifestyle and he was constantly in arrears
mackerel
Nov 2014
#141
I find it sad that women are resorting to self-segregation to protect themselves.
Odin2005
Nov 2014
#112
At least they wouldn't carry an implied endorsement by the University ...
eppur_se_muova
Nov 2014
#66
If I were a woman I'd never date or marry any man who is in or had been in a frat.
L0oniX
Nov 2014
#43
Does anybody else think it's weird that there's more criticism here for the three friends
LeftyMom
Nov 2014
#12
Thanks for posting, kpete. You stand up for us when very few will.
Dont call me Shirley
Nov 2014
#14
Are you suggesting that one would have to belong to a subset of a larger group..
Oktober
Nov 2014
#38
Read any of the many Cosby threads and you'll see people condemning his accusers for not
Sheldon Cooper
Nov 2014
#32
k and r. I would say, I think I am going to be ill--but, sadly, what is reported there is nothing
niyad
Nov 2014
#46
I know this happens, I just don't understand those folks who treat rape victims like this.
stevenleser
Nov 2014
#52
University President Teresa Sullivan requests Phi Kappa Psi Investigation
mahatmakanejeeves
Nov 2014
#60
Ironic but True: Ken Cuccinelli worked to combat sexual assault at UVa
mahatmakanejeeves
Nov 2014
#63
No more invites to frat parties = A fate worse than death. Not talking about rape = Loyalty.
Tierra_y_Libertad
Nov 2014
#69
UVa asks police to investigate gang-rape allegations outlined in Rolling Stone article
mahatmakanejeeves
Nov 2014
#76
Why isn't it 'They were the boys who committed rape and that's why we had to ban frat houses'
LynneSin
Nov 2014
#83
I'm sure I'm wasting my breath, but the point is that the serial sex offenders seem normal.
Starry Messenger
Nov 2014
#92
I've told all three of my kids that in my opinion it is best to stay away from
mackerel
Nov 2014
#138
Better yet, attend a college that does not allow frats or sororities. I did.
McCamy Taylor
Nov 2014
#140