10 Unbelievably Sh**ty Things America Does to Homeless People

[Maedhros]

62. In the 90's I was traveling down Highway 101 along the southern Oregon coast.

I was on my way to Coos Bay for a press conference on toy safety, right before Thanksgiving and the Christmas shopping season.

I reached a remote stretch of highway where all the FM radio stations cut out. I was driving a rental car, so my only entertainment option was the radio. I was getting a bit drowsy and needed something to keep me alert, so I scanned the AM dial and found a single radio station that was hosting some kind of Christian talk show. "What the heck," thought I, "I'll see what these whackjobs have to say."

The hosts of the show were discussing the first American colony at Jamestown. According to these folks Captain John Smith established a system whereby every working farm would contribute a portion of their harvest to a central store. If any of the farms were to suffer disaster, supplies could be drawn from the central store to make sure that the unlucky farmers could survive the winter. This, of course, was Socialism, and was the root cause of the Starving Time - the period from 1609-1610 in which all but 60 of the 500 colonists survived. Because of this disaster Captain John Smith was removed from command of the colony and his replacement, George Percy, did away with the Socialist central store and adopted an every-man-for-himself policy. After Percy's renunciation of Socialism the colony thrived, proving that God loves Free Enterprise and hates Socialism!

At this point in their fanciful narrative, the station cut away to an advertisement: "Neither a borrower nor a lender be! Prov 22 : 7 7 tells us that 'the rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.' But did you know that by using U.S currency you are going against the Word of God?" The advertisement went on to tell us how, since evil Socialists took American currency off of the gold standard, simply using cash is "borrowing." That's why Good Christians (tm) buy gold! Here's how!

I had to shut off the radio at that point, because I was becoming terrified and silence seemed to be the better option. I spent the rest of my trip musing on what I had heard, and then it became clear: this is the American Newspeak, whereby Christianity = Freedom = Capitalism. Things like taking care of the sick and homeless just isn't what God wants. He wants American hegemony across the globe, bullish stock markets for the rich and righteous wars.