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Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)

58. I don't blame you.

Reply to lovemydog (Reply #55)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:57 PM

Jul 2014

I would love to go outwith you !!

uh ... ok.

Mine needs a little work

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I am a BDSMer. I have run workshops on how to practice it safely. I've been doing it for 20 years. [View all] sibelian Jul 2014 OP

Thank you, Sibelian. darkangel218 Jul 2014 #1

Thank You for what? Telling us to only get info from one source with a biased view? KittyWampus Jul 2014 #68

If I'm going to get "biased" information mythology Jul 2014 #142

I have been to a few workshops to see what it is about. hrmjustin Jul 2014 #2

No offense, but, whathehell Jul 2014 #24

For you yes but them it is a part of their life. hrmjustin Jul 2014 #26

Yeah, lots of things are "part of" some people's lives whathehell Jul 2014 #31

Ok. hrmjustin Jul 2014 #33

I am positive that it is therapeutic for many people. Voice for Peace Jul 2014 #51

I never really could do it because it reminded me too much of an abusive relationship and what came hrmjustin Jul 2014 #53

But it's an interesting phenomenon that abused people often seek out abusive relationships, Voice for Peace Jul 2014 #61

As a cutter Prophet 451 Jul 2014 #205

Maybe im not understanding correctly darkangel218 Jul 2014 #40

You are understanding correctly.. whathehell Jul 2014 #66

Seriously, you need to get out more BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #74

Seriously, you do too.. whathehell Jul 2014 #80

No, actually some of my closest friends BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #85

I'm only quoting the shrinks, honey.. whathehell Jul 2014 #89

And again, I'm sure you support their older, non "politically correct" opinions about homosexuality. moriah Jul 2014 #92

And again, you're trying to put words in my mouth, whathehell Jul 2014 #110

You're preaching about what is and what is not "natural" about sex, on a liberal discussion forum. moriah Jul 2014 #111

Not "preaching", just stating facts, and not about sex, whathehell Jul 2014 #129

Explain tattoos, then. Or are people who like getting them "unnatural", too? n/t moriah Jul 2014 #135

No, you're stating an opinion and confusing that for a fact. mythology Jul 2014 #140

No, I'm stating the "fact" of the APA's diagnosis until recently, whathehell Jul 2014 #143

So the millions of people BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #150

Who the hell cares about tattoos? whathehell Jul 2014 #156

You can't reply, got it BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #160

Of course I can reply.. whathehell Jul 2014 #163

I see you haven't talked with any BDSM practitioners BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #166

This message was self-deleted by its author whathehell Jul 2014 #183

LOL..You don't know who I've talked to.. whathehell Jul 2014 #185

LOL you were quoting the APA BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #195

Wrong again, LOL, The "fact" quoted was of its being their diagnosis! whathehell Jul 2014 #198

You said liking pain wasn't natural, and that your judgement was not one about sex. moriah Jul 2014 #202

So what? whathehell Jul 2014 #207

Oh please.. whathehell Jul 2014 #148

I'm a feminist too. What happens in the bedroom *stays in the bedroom*.... moriah Jul 2014 #230

You think so? whathehell Jul 2014 #242

One thing that's hard to understand -- the dominant can't be dominant without the submissive's .... moriah Jul 2014 #243

Well, that's no more surprising than the "submissive" can't be submissive whathehell Jul 2014 #245

If it's no longer a difference of opinion as to whether or not I'm "sick"... moriah Jul 2014 #246

Frankly, I never wanted to hear about your "sexual practices" whathehell Jul 2014 #251

It's less that you think it's bad for yourself. It's that you're passing a value judgement on others moriah Jul 2014 #260

Moriah, "goodbye" is my safeword.. whathehell Jul 2014 #263

You know, it used to be against the rules to say you were going to put someone on ignore... moriah Jul 2014 #269

This message was self-deleted by its author whathehell Jul 2014 #262

People I know who do BDSM tell me that regardless of gender or orientations, subs far outnumber eridani Jul 2014 #271

Subs outnumber *good* Doms, in my personal experience. moriah Jul 2014 #275

They don't want to even consider that sexual kickitup Jul 2014 #279

My two cents... pipi_k Jul 2014 #145

Many women use drugs to alleviate the pain of childbirth, those who choose not to use drugs seaglass Jul 2014 #147

Thank you.. whathehell Jul 2014 #155

Actually pipi_k Jul 2014 #158

Well OK pipi_k Jul 2014 #157

BDSM was regarded as pathological until some time in the past steve2470 Jul 2014 #274

No, Cutting RobinA Jul 2014 #180

If the natural human reaction is to avoid pain... Finagled Aug 2014 #295

LOL! whathehell Aug 2014 #296

Message auto-removed Name removed Aug 2014 #297

"Brilliance" indeed..You failed to get even 4 posts here before getting one hid! whathehell Aug 2014 #298

Post removed Post removed Aug 2014 #309

Hi from a shrink. nolabear Jul 2014 #248

Sorry, Nola...I've Left the Dungeon whathehell Jul 2014 #252

LOL! Be well. Stay safe! nolabear Jul 2014 #254

Absolutely! whathehell Jul 2014 #259

This message was self-deleted by its author nolabear Jul 2014 #249

"The natural human instinct is to avoid pain, not seek it." kentauros Jul 2014 #95

Uh, some people enjoy that, whathehell Jul 2014 #97

Where were the modifiers "some" and "most" used in the OP? kentauros Jul 2014 #99

What Op? whathehell Jul 2014 #107

And you seem to have a problem following a conversation. kentauros Jul 2014 #113

And you don't seem to know the MEANING of a "conversation" whathehell Jul 2014 #124

Again, you're using the modifier of "most people" kentauros Jul 2014 #128

and I'll continue to use it..Listen, bro, you can "enjoy" all the pain you whathehell Jul 2014 #130

So you post judgmental crap, and when people call you on it, you put them on ignore? moriah Jul 2014 #239

I guess being enlightened was too much for him. kentauros Jul 2014 #265

t's rather like taking one's ball and bat and going home. moriah Jul 2014 #266

And I would help hand it over, too. kentauros Jul 2014 #267

you may be right, maybe most don't awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #117

Correct -- I never said otherwise. whathehell Jul 2014 #126

The APA at one point thought homosexuality was unhealthy, too. Guess you support that as well. moriah Jul 2014 #84

+1 BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #87

Yes, I know, but you guess wrong on that one.. whathehell Jul 2014 #91

Really! Wow! Psychiatrists can change their opnions, and it be legitimate! moriah Jul 2014 #93

So was the removal of homosexuality from the DSM BuddhaGirl Jul 2014 #149

I imagine it's ethically convenient to disagree with the academics when it suits your own biases LanternWaste Jul 2014 #169

and I imagine it's equally convenient to assume that as the dynamic whathehell Jul 2014 #181

We talking about what's 'natural' on DU now? Ash_F Jul 2014 #133

This is absolute bullshit. mr blur Jul 2014 #138

Argue with the shrinks, honey..This was their position whathehell Jul 2014 #141

HI! HELLO! Shrink response! nolabear Jul 2014 #250

I saw your other post, Nola, and i'm sorry, but I'm using my "safe word" whathehell Jul 2014 #253

... nolabear Jul 2014 #255

LOL.. whathehell Jul 2014 #258

Conservatives say the same about homosexuality being delisted n/t Prophet 451 Jul 2014 #206

Yeah..They also say "good morning" in the A.M. whathehell Jul 2014 #211

Please cite your evidence that the decision was based on political correctness... Hippo_Tron Jul 2014 #216

See post #38 whathehell Jul 2014 #240

Nope, you made the claims the burden of proof is on you Hippo_Tron Jul 2014 #256

No, I gave you enough.. whathehell Jul 2014 #261

Everyone wants to smack a little ass , male or female snooper2 Jul 2014 #98

Well, I disagree, but whathehell Jul 2014 #106

I am not into BDSM... awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #118

As long as it's consenting adults, I prefer to leave it to them to set the boundaries. n/t Gore1FL Jul 2014 #42

Well, sure, there's nothing else to do.. whathehell Jul 2014 #63

The difference between "squick" and "sick" is consent, to my mind. moriah Jul 2014 #90

That's nice.. whathehell Jul 2014 #94

But, you see, what you are saying can also be construed as a personal attack. moriah Jul 2014 #96

I don't think so.. whathehell Jul 2014 #101

For sure. easttexaslefty Jul 2014 #194

I think putting A-1 on a steak is sick... awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #119

Who do you have to be? whathehell Jul 2014 #125

There are also many things ... CaptainTruth Jul 2014 #71

hmmm... whathehell Jul 2014 #73

Some people take a simplistic view ... CaptainTruth Jul 2014 #81

and some may take an overly complex one.. whathehell Jul 2014 #115

Some people get an adrenaline rush from certain levels of pain or anticipation Marrah_G Jul 2014 #244

Sorry, Marrah, but as I just informed another poster here, whathehell Jul 2014 #247

another thought... awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #116

You must have come in late to this discussion.. whathehell Jul 2014 #127

True, true Sarah Ibarruri Jul 2014 #201

Well, thanks for that... whathehell Jul 2014 #209

:) I agree. Consenting adults do have the right to do what they desire Sarah Ibarruri Jul 2014 #285

The rights of consenting adults being a given, you still whathehell Aug 2014 #290

Define "pain" eridani Jul 2014 #208

You define "pain" whathehell Jul 2014 #210

It's about what you experience, not about what someone else does to you n/t eridani Jul 2014 #272

The people involved admit they experience pain -- and they like it whathehell Aug 2014 #286

Some people who exercise experience pain as well... brooklynite Aug 2014 #287

The pain most people exercising experience is whathehell Aug 2014 #289

The dental thing whathehell Aug 2014 #288

It's about trust. sibelian Jul 2014 #174

Always trust a professional NightWatcher Jul 2014 #3

All in a day's work... genwah Jul 2014 #9

Thanks for sharing! LongTomH Jul 2014 #4

agreed! CarrieLynne Jul 2014 #5

Have you read the Book That Shall Not Be Mentioned? leftstreet Jul 2014 #6

I am also a longtime... green917 Jul 2014 #29

^^THIS POST DEMANDS ATTENTION^^ Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #45

+1000 DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #47

That's all. bravenak Jul 2014 #76

Here here!!! CaptainTruth Jul 2014 #77

Thank you. I've and others have been trying to help people to understand that Luminous Animal Jul 2014 #86

you're welcome green917 Jul 2014 #238

Absolutely. sibelian Jul 2014 #100

I have not... but... sibelian Jul 2014 #109

Thanks for this thread, important message nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #7

Thanks. We're 99 days out, and talking about everything under the sun except what we need to be genwah Jul 2014 #8

Yup. whathehell Jul 2014 #72

You appear to be under the impression that people can focus on one, and only one concern at any give LanternWaste Jul 2014 #170

I like Frank Herbert's update on the word ghaflah. It's the small distraction that kills. Others genwah Jul 2014 #199

Great post. lovemydog Jul 2014 #10

Me too - LiberalElite Jul 2014 #35

There's joy in repetition. lovemydog Jul 2014 #54

You can say that again. riqster Jul 2014 #186

same here. nt awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #120

me too. Can't wait to use it in a sentence. Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #46

I'm heading for a glorious nature walk, outwith the confines lovemydog Jul 2014 #55

I don't blame you. Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #58

Haha... cui bono Jul 2014 #78

Haha, awesome. lovemydog Jul 2014 #83

Imagine my amazement when I found out it wasn't English... sibelian Jul 2014 #172

I agree completely Marrah_G Jul 2014 #11

how did this come up?? navarth Jul 2014 #12

50 shades of grey threads nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #13

I assume this refers to a tv show? I'll look it up navarth Jul 2014 #15

just type 50 shades of grey into the DU search box in the upper right hand corner up there steve2470 Jul 2014 #17

Well I got quite an eyeful there navarth Jul 2014 #21

I'd just read all the threads, tbh nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #23

haven't been on DU for the past couple of days... awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #121

ha! I guess not... navarth Jul 2014 #153

Here's the rules for 50 Shades on DU ... kickitup Jul 2014 #196

Ah! Well that's a relief navarth Jul 2014 #200

"Do NOT, repeat NOT absorb information about BDSM from non-practitioners" rug Jul 2014 #14

LOL!! whathehell Jul 2014 #20

danke schoen lunasun Jul 2014 #16

But how else can we be armchair experts at it? Blue_Adept Jul 2014 #18

Well, you can make things up, of course... sibelian Jul 2014 #175

Oh, I know. Blue_Adept Jul 2014 #177

Ach, sorry. I misread YOU. :) sibelian Jul 2014 #228

"The view that it's weird or creepy seems to come from a small handful of people.." whathehell Jul 2014 #188

K&R! DeSwiss Jul 2014 #19

Just went to see this guy ismnotwasm Jul 2014 #32

The one in the red is hawt! Gore1FL Jul 2014 #44

Don't forget to use the safe word cui bono Jul 2014 #82

For some reason when I saw that... awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #122

I am not. ismnotwasm Jul 2014 #22

I recommend utilizing the trash by keyword. tammywammy Jul 2014 #50

Lookin for donco Jul 2014 #25

Yeah, same here.. whathehell Jul 2014 #34

To what? sibelian Jul 2014 #176

I have no clue what sexual practice you are referring. FarPoint Jul 2014 #27

bondage discipline sadomasochism masochism, bdsm nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #28

Ohhhhhhhhhh FarPoint Jul 2014 #30

After you do..just realize...there is much support for "Porn Industry" KoKo Jul 2014 #60

In years past, sex threads were not allowed anywhere on DU not even in the Lounge. Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #79

One of the few songs by the stones I like... awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #123

Yes, another good one from the eighties but, then I love The Stones. Seen them twice. Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #161

OK, here ya go: Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #36

... SammyWinstonJack Jul 2014 #75

... sibelian Jul 2014 #102

Safe.Sane.Consentual are essential Collarchat & Fet Life are good ref sites stuffmatters Jul 2014 #37

Do you need a college degree to practice that? edbermac Jul 2014 #38

... lol ... Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #48

Put it this way... sibelian Jul 2014 #105

I heard Grey called the worst dom since the Marquis: they're right nt MisterP Jul 2014 #39

The character of Grey is NOT a dom DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #49

O rickyhall Jul 2014 #41

... M.... G? sibelian Jul 2014 #190

Outwith Android3.14 Jul 2014 #43

It's typical in Scotland to use the word in place of "outside" sibelian Jul 2014 #173

OT but Hi, Sibellan truebluegreen Jul 2014 #52

It has become surreal. sibelian Jul 2014 #108

Sorry to hear that truebluegreen Jul 2014 #146

All the best to you and your campaign. riqster Jul 2014 #187

Du is getting smutter and smutter packman Jul 2014 #56

Oh put a ball gag in it, Mary... DRoseDARs Jul 2014 #62

"i" did not want any part of it packman Jul 2014 #88

I could kiss you for that pun, but the law and this thread require that I smack you around. DRoseDARs Jul 2014 #182

Recent discussions have focussed on an allegedly irresponsible portrayal of BDSM. sibelian Jul 2014 #178

It's in response to a popular book being made into a movie being discussed here Marrah_G Aug 2014 #300

thank you DonCoquixote Jul 2014 #57

Is this a joke? secondvariety Jul 2014 #59

Unfortunately, no.. whathehell Jul 2014 #69

Why do you think it's a joke? sibelian Jul 2014 #103

Anyone in the DC metro area who are curious IronLionZion Jul 2014 #64

And in New England Marrah_G Aug 2014 #306

As a practicing Master ... CaptainTruth Jul 2014 #65

This ^ Marrah_G Aug 2014 #303

LOL! ONLY absorb information that is positive from BDSM practitioners. LOL! KittyWampus Jul 2014 #67

LOL! whathehell Jul 2014 #70

wow, have I come late to this discussion! 2pooped2pop Jul 2014 #104

We are all BDSM'ers Puzzledtraveller Jul 2014 #112

I am Spartacus. sibelian Jul 2014 #114

Really? whathehell Jul 2014 #131

Every day Puzzledtraveller Jul 2014 #132

Yeah..sure..uh huh.. whathehell Jul 2014 #144

I am curious what spurred the posting of this OP Ash_F Jul 2014 #134

The badly written mess that is "50 shades of Grey" sibelian Jul 2014 #167

A co-worker looked up from a book and asked me what BDSM stood for. Ash_F Jul 2014 #203

Novices badly need this kind of information from a face to face community eridani Jul 2014 #136

Yes, many people don't even have the CONCEPT of doing it safely. sibelian Jul 2014 #152

And the BDSM communities are pretty good at policing their own. Marrah_G Aug 2014 #299

I always tell people to reach out to others in the real world Marrah_G Aug 2014 #305

good PSA, thanks! NuttyFluffers Jul 2014 #137

Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me! IronLionZion Jul 2014 #139

Thanks for this lupinella Jul 2014 #151

Thank you, sibelian, Feral Child Jul 2014 #154

Nae bother. sibelian Jul 2014 #168

Omg cwydro Jul 2014 #159

They can be very informative. In_The_Wind Jul 2014 #184

Not all of BDSM is about sex. sibelian Jul 2014 #189

May I add an observation nadinbrzezinski Jul 2014 #162

How do deaf BDSMers give the safe word? meegbear Jul 2014 #164

The "Safe word" doesn't have to be a word, really. opiate69 Jul 2014 #165

As opiate said... sibelian Jul 2014 #171

My wife's safe word is "Simon opiate69 Jul 2014 #179

Gestures. Also applies for people wearing gags. riqster Jul 2014 #192

Safe word potato. Why? Because you can still say it wearing a ball gag! Marrah_G Aug 2014 #301

I'll take your word for it. riqster Aug 2014 #310

Not into heavy play, but I have taught at a good number of events across the US. riqster Jul 2014 #191

Yeah it seems that safeword abuse and violating limits is a big issue. seaglass Jul 2014 #193

Thence the classes. riqster Jul 2014 #197

In major population centers, hotlines are often available eridani Jul 2014 #213

True, and thank you for letting people know. riqster Jul 2014 #217

Well, hope it works out for you Prophet 451 Jul 2014 #204

a tad OT here... steve2470 Jul 2014 #212

But that's the entire point of many of these threads... brooklynite Jul 2014 #214

as long as people are not being abused or exploited, I'm cool nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #215

Wish others were equally open-minded. riqster Jul 2014 #218

it is a shame steve2470 Jul 2014 #219

Too be less kind, it's blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance; riqster Jul 2014 #220

I admit to being limited in this area at times but... steve2470 Jul 2014 #221

Word up. I often fail at it myself. riqster Jul 2014 #222

AA gets bashed a lot, but acceptance... steve2470 Jul 2014 #223

I can only reply hifiguy Jul 2014 #232

!!! sibelian Jul 2014 #224

hmm....bit of an overreaction I'd say, the employer I mean, not you lol nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #225

ok try this url steve2470 Jul 2014 #226

I don't get it at all, but one of my first rules of life hifiguy Jul 2014 #227

I've no problem with being judged... sibelian Jul 2014 #229

The only things I am really judgmental about are fanaticsm/dogmatism and hifiguy Jul 2014 #231

OT, but.... opiate69 Jul 2014 #234

I needed a break and went through some very bad times hifiguy Jul 2014 #236

Didn't know you'd left! sibelian Jul 2014 #237

i noticed you were gone and am glad you are back. irisblue Jul 2014 #277

Message auto-removed Name removed Jul 2014 #233

oh my! hrmjustin Jul 2014 #235

OK, outside of some light spanking and mild dominance play, not really into BDSM... Humanist_Activist Jul 2014 #241

Agree completely. Well stated. nomorenomore08 Aug 2014 #308

How do you do it with a straight face? Tom Ripley Jul 2014 #257

LOL whathehell Jul 2014 #264

I COULD KICK PRACTICING MASTER ASS Skittles Jul 2014 #268

SIGNS UP SKITTLES FOR DOMINATRIX SCHOOL steve2470 Jul 2014 #270

GETTING MY WHIP Skittles Jul 2014 #281

you're a good sport ! :) nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #284

Well, I think you should tell him that.. whathehell Jul 2014 #282

I WILL KICK VOYEUR ASS TOO Skittles Aug 2014 #291

Probably Marrah_G Aug 2014 #302

Thanks for sharing.. whathehell Aug 2014 #307

It's easy when the rewards are big, to keep a straight face. TIMETOCHANGE Jul 2014 #278

Lol.."And for those of you who aren't into it, you have my sympathies". whathehell Jul 2014 #283

Feel free. TIMETOCHANGE Aug 2014 #292

Gee, if you were a quality guy, you might actually be able to get that whathehell Aug 2014 #293

Depends on how serious the scene is. sibelian Aug 2014 #294

Pit Bulls are misjudged too...nt hexola Jul 2014 #273

Especially at the Olive Garden! n/t eridani Jul 2014 #276

While breast-feeding! WinkyDink Jul 2014 #280

CACAO! Earth_First Aug 2014 #304

Just curious Shankapotomus Aug 2014 #311