General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Yes, this is still a racist, sexist, unequal world. [View all]cinnabonbon
(860 posts)Last edited Wed Jan 22, 2014, 02:38 PM - Edit history (1)
I don't really mind what you tell your wife, because that is in private and none of my business. But the internet is far from private. In fact, I would look at it as talking very loudly in a mixed company. That's why I avoid slurs in general. There are plenty of insults available for me to voice my displeasure, without putting down a whole group at the same time. That is what happens when a gendered insult is used, for example. Technically speaking, one is equating that being female is negative enough that you might as well use it as an insult. The female people in the 'room' takes notice.
Calling another woman a "mean b*tch" is an example on reclaiming a slur. In most reclaiming 'groups', it's generally the group that is being targeted by the slur that gets to use it. Everyone else that uses it gets the stink-eye because it's still considered an insult in most places. I'm sure you've seen how some white folks try to use the n-word to look cool and end up looking the opposite.
See, this is where I think things get interesting. Here we meet on a message board for international users, so that means that everyone you meet has had a different upbringing and experience when it comes to different insults. And when it comes to slurs, they haven't become normalized in the same way they have in the UK. (Although linguistically, I find it so interesting that there's hardly any male-specific insults that are not homophobic. Tw*t, c*nt, *b*tch... all of them are pointed towards female genitalia. Wanker is gender neutral, because both genders engage in masturbation. I wonder why only those are the ones that are socially acceptable?)
Intent is a wonderful thing, but this is the internet. We are nothing but words to everyone we meet. They can't judge our tone of voice or our facial expression to see if we are hateful or not, so we cannot blame the listener for our own inability to be clear with our words. Our persona is shaped on the foundation of our words here. No one knows whether your intentions are good or bad, they only hear the slur that is used against them, and if it hurts them they will not care if your intentions were good or not. That is why it's so important to think about the way we use our words, because people will judge people who frequently use misogynistic language to have a tendency towards misogyny. And that would be a shame! Same with all the other minorities. If someone use homophobic language, gay people might not feel like talking to them anymore. Even worse, they might think that a republican snuck into DU unannounced!