I heard the sounds of a man's life ending yesterday. Another healthcare tragedy. [View all]

[Zulan]

An installment was paid on our health care system yesterday. Another death that should have been prevented.

Let me start by saying my son has anxiety issues, and panic attacks. He is fortunate in that I have a job where he gets good treatment. Rarely he has a panic attack in public, and people assume he is on drugs or "weird". It deeply humiliates him. I believe I understand mental illness a little better for my experience.

So when a man with mental issues panics and shoots a bus driver, then runs down the street, and tries to board another bus, and ends up being shot to death by the police, it affects me deeply. What affected me even more was when I expressed sympathy for the man in conversations during the day, the universal response was distain for the man killed because "he was a bad guy" or a "perp". Not one person that I could find felt any sympathy for the man who was killed. They gathered at the windows to watch the aftermath like it was a reality show.

I have seen a man die in a gas station shooting, panic in his eyes as he went down. Only because the shooter missed me am I still here many years later to talk about it. There is no justice in a shooting. It's horrible for everyone.

If this man had access to mental health care, would he still be alive? Would he have a family, children? Would he be working hard with help to overcome his issues? Would he still have the opportunity to smile and laugh with his family, had he been given the opportunity? Why must healthcare be a privilege? Are we willing to throw people away because they don't meet our standards?

Why do I feel like I somehow let this man down? This man I never met, but was gunned down no more than 50 feet from me?

I hope I can sleep tonight.