I, Troll [View all]

[Fumesucker]

I found this a few years back on Salon, it was written as a post to their feeback letters by a poster named Little Brother, this is a repost since I put it up in GD in 2009.

I have no talent for critical thinking; I am wholly incapable of discerning facts, presenting a coherent viewpoint incorporating salient facts, or mastering even the barest rudiments of logical argument.

My "perspective", such as it is, is a myopic hodge-podge of legacy reactionary bumper-sticker clichés coeval with coprolites, drowned in the greasy gravy of corporate media-manufactured neocon wingnut talking points.

I have a formidable capacity for intolerance, unreasoning contempt, and leaden snark. I believe that my country is the strongest and greatest country in the world, and that perforce its policies and conduct, domestically and internationally, is always Right-- because Might Makes Right, of course. What world are you living in?

I despise those who challenge this view, or seek to erode and dislodge the keystone of unreasoning Zealous Patriotic Faith that supports the soul of the Greatest Country in the World, the U S of A, in its never-ending battle against the Forces of Evil, i.e. Everybody Else (except Israel and the other members of Our Hegemony).

In my world, crass name-calling, snide caricatures, and poorly-crafted personal put-downs and cheap shots are recognized as legitimate tactics in making points and winning arguments-- because, lacking intellectual acumen, depth, sophistication, and discernment, these clumsy skills are all we've got.

The proof of their efficacy can be seen in the applause and attaboys frequently expressed by my Troll Brethren in these comments; they confirm that I effortlessly steamroller over the pathetic and treacherous sedition disseminated on sites like this.

Cognitive dissonance is my friend; it keeps me strong and indomitable.

Little Brother