General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: There seems to be a lot of confusion about benevolent sexism. [View all]lapislzi
(5,762 posts)I am a woman who is perfectly capable of opening her own doors (etc.), and I open doors for others all the time. Using the door-opening example because it's easy to understand.
But, there are men with whom I work or who work in my building, who become offended when I don't pause to allow them to open the door. When questioned, they express that they believe it's their obligation to do this. Mostly, these are older men. I have explained the concept of benevolent sexism to them, and they understand it intellectually, but they can't move beyond their perceived need to open doors for me. I've discovered it's pointless to argue; it just results in a silly game of chicken while we stand outside the door.
And I realize that their desire to open doors is about them, not me. They have to feel "manly" by performing this small act.
Now, I have no interest in stroking the manhood (not that way, you DU pervs) of strangers and acquaintances. It's not my problem. But, in the interest of politeness, I let it pass. They think they're being chivalrous. I know what they're doing, but it's not a ditch I feel like dying in on a daily basis.
I'm aware of the conditioning. I just don't buy into it. I can't help how the other party behaves, other than to point out his bias and let it go at that.