General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]jollyreaper2112
(1,941 posts)But I think that would leave you clearly vulnerable to a case of retroactive withdrawal of consent. Human beings can be assholes, goes for both genders. I accept what people say at face value and no means no except I can recount many a conversation where a no meant "try harder." Mind games. I'm thinking of several friends and relatives, happily married, where the man mounted a dogged pursuit and won her over. Huh? In these situations I can't tell the difference between courtship and stalking, it all amounts to whether or not she says "I do" in the end.
I have a low capacity for alcohol and so have never experienced loss of impulse control, blackouts, etc. I'd get sick long before I ever reached such a point. But I know other people can take a lot more than me and it seems incredibly vulnerable to be in a position where you might not even clearly remember what you did and it's your drunken word against her drunken word. How much do you remember? If she changed her mind partway through, would you have even noticed at the time? Once consent is withdrawn it's nonconsensual and it can be withdrawn at any time during.
Personally, I hate ambiguity. Yes means yes, no means no, I don't read minds and I take everything at face value. And if I think I'd be the kind of person she'd regret waking up next to, I wouldn't want any part in that kind of drama. To get the "Did I sleep with you?" eww and shudder face would just feel awful.