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In reply to the discussion: I just found out that one of my great great grandfathers served on the Confederate side [View all]luvs2sing
(2,220 posts)On my mother's side, I have ancestors that migrated from New Jersey to Kentucky, but ended up in Ohio because they did not like slavery. I also have a great-great grandfather from another family line who fought for the Union Army and was in the Battle of Lookout Mountain. I have his powderhorn. However, there is another ancestor in his line who lived in Maryland and owned slaves. In his will, there are several slaves mentioned who are children/adolescents, and he stipulates that they are to be freed when they turn 21.
On my father's side, one of my great-grandmothers is an Ashby. If you live in Virginia, you know what this means. Turner Ashby is my second cousin, and there are a lot of Confederates on this side of the family, but several Union, too. It all seems to hinge on who moved to Ohio when, and I have found several instances of siblings fighting on opposite sides.
I grew up knowing about the ancestor who fought at Lookout Mountain. My grandmother (his granddaughter) was very proud of this fact. I never knew anything about my father's side of the family, and I don't believe he did, either. I will say that both sides of my family were very conservative and racist, though my father's side was much worse.
I was not raised that way. My parents were very liberal and very accepting of everyone, and they kept their distance from the rest of the family. I remember being seven or eight and watching scenes from the civil rights movement on TV and asking my mother why people were fighting. Her reply was, "White people have treated colored people very badly for a very long time, and they are fighting for their rights." I didn't quite understand what these "rights" were, but I definitely got the message that the civil rights movement was a very good thing and the color of my skin didn't make me better than anyone else.
About 20 years ago, when my "Tea Party Is Too Liberal For Me" cousin began researching the family history and told me about my Confederate ancestors, I was horrified. It has taken me many years and many conversations with several of my friends (some of them African-American) to come to grips with this part of my history. What has brought me peace is to accept that I can't change who they were, the times they lived in, or what they did. I know that I wasn't born with the "hate gene" and I was never indoctrinated into that kind of culture, and I don't need to make excuses or feel guilt for who I am and how I live my life today.