More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today, No. 12

Yeah, because--like a lot of people here--I need to vent today.

Previous editions are available at my journal page:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=journals&uid=171954

Just because the fucking idiots on a Florida jury reminded us of this:

* Stalkers of black teenagers have the right to defend themselves with lethal force if the black teenager fights back with his Skittles and iced tea.

Another repeat, just to remind everyone of the essential hypocrisy of a recent GOP obsession:

* The intelligence failures of September 11, 2001 (3000 dead) are forgivable. The intelligence failures of September 11, 2012 (four dead) are not.

And in light of Pope Francis's recent statements on immigration:

* Disagreeing with the Catholic Church on birth control and abortion is a "War on religion". Disagreeing with the Catholic Church on the death penalty, immigration, caring for the poor, and the Iraq War is not.

(Sigh)...Another Update...

* You decry the decline of America's scientific leadership in the world while attacking the National Science Foundation and pushing to teach Creationism in science class.

And I suspect that just like the Chickenhawk list, this is only going to get longer with time:

* Michelle Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, Alan West, Todd Akin, Joe Walsh, Ted Cruz, Steve Stockman, and EW Jackson are intelligent, rational human beings.

More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:

* Public schools receive and spend too much money. Public schools should start having paid armed guards.

* A Congressman who spent taxpayer money sneaking off to Argentina to bang his mistress has the moral authority to talk about government spending issues. And of course "family values".

* You're a "small government' type who get outraged when Michelle Obama suggests kids eat their vegetables, but support Ken Cuccinelli's lawsuit to get an anti-sodomy law reinstated.

* "Tort reform" is needed to stop the "abuse" of the legal system by poor people who've been hurt by polluters. The right of billionaires to sue when their wine purchases are "misrepresented" shall not be infringed.

* It's okay to have segregated proms, and having integrated proms is "divisive" and a "publicity stunt"

* You won't publicly support integrated high school proms, but wonder why your party is seen as a bunch of racists.

* It totally makes sense for the UK government to pay for the funeral of austerity maven Margaret Thatcher.

* You support restrictions, criminal background checks, and mental health screening of immigrants and voters, but not gun buyers.

* Lack of religious values is to blame for terrorist acts by religious extremists.

* Excessive regulation and government micromanagement of private industry led to the explosion at West Fertilizer.

* "Big Government" is regulating plants full of explosive fertilizers. "Small government" is regulating what women do with their private parts.

* Drones being used on American soil against American citizens is absolutely infuriating and indefensible. Except when the drones are being used to bomb convenience store robbery suspects.

* You were enraged by speculation that the Boston Marathon bombers were right-wingers, but earnestly believe that the time for armed revolt against the "gubmint" really is drawing near.

* Actually counting votes is "elitist" and too "scientific"

* Birth control and emergency contraception should be much harder to get than guns.

* You disapprove of 15 year olds having access to Plan B, but approve of marketing guns to 5 year olds.

* You're revolted by the thought of degenerate pervert Anthony Wiener returning to public office. You supported Mark Sanford's return to public office, and are a fan of David Vitter.

* There's a massive, huge, incredible difference between an "act of terror" and a "terrorist attack"

* Because reporting about the George Bush Air National Guard story was bungled, it proved that there was no scandal. The bungled reporting of the leaked and misleadingly edited Benghazi emails doesn't mean anything about the validity of the Greatest Scandal In The History Of The World Of The Week.

* You're a tech giant that goes to extreme lengths to avoid paying taxes, then lobbies to reform immigration to allow more tech visas because the schools here in the US are poorly funded and not doing a good enough job providing an educated work force for you.

* Women are not allowed to pee on Memorial Day

* Jerry Brown's progressive policies have brought financial disaster and massive deficits to California.

* A convicted car thief and suspected arsonist has the moral authority to investigate the IRS for actually doing it's job and making sure "anti tax" groups weren't tax cheats.

* You don't mind the government amassing a database of everyone's phone calls and emails, but are enraged at the thought of the government amassing a database of everybody's gun sales.

(To be fair, there's a number of Republican's who ARE outraged by the NSA spying, though mostly it seems more like "We don't want the scary Kenyan Nazi Communist N***er spying on us. It was okay when George W. Bush was doing it.&quot

* Embryos masturbate.

Wait a second...you gotta be kidding me on this one, right?

http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2013/06/17/texas-congressman-masturbating-fetuses-prove-need-for-abortion-ban/

(Facepalm)

* Progressive legislators who filibuster to stop restrictions to women's rights to manage their own ladyparts are terrorists. Right wingers who blow up abortion clinics are not.

* The Supreme Court has no authority to overrule acts of Congress (like DOMA). The Supreme Court has the authority to overrule acts of Congress (like the Voting Rights Act).

* Tampons are a dangerous weapon that should be banned from government premises. Guns are not.