June 25, 2015

A safe haven for what, though? It mustn't be for posting positive stuff about Hillary Clinton...

Because I was blocked without warning by one host. I won't say who he is as I don't want to be seen as calling anyone out, but apart from one post wishing that host well when he spoke of health issues, the post below is the sum total of what I'd posted in the group. I don't go around attacking any of the Democratic candidates in GD, so I'm a bit confused as to why I was blocked. Do you know why? I would have thought positive contributions about Hillary Clinton would be welcome...

This is the post....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/11079671

May 11, 2015

Not all of them. I followed the Church of bluejuice until its sad demise last year...

No-one better shit on my religion. Even though it's now defunct, I'm always ready to push this particular religious belief onto others. You'll understand if you watch this clip where they go into some detail explaining their beliefs. Watch it all the way through. Skip the ad, though. There's no religious message in that and ads are fucking boring...

And here's another of their hymns which kind of reminds me of some of the posts in this thread....

&list

May 8, 2015

America - the land where people NEED to draw Mohammed...

I've gone one better than that! One of my friends is heading off to the US for a holiday next week and she doesn't want to look like a tourist. I gave her these handy tips...

1. Don't speak. Ever. The accent will give you away.
2. They NEED to draw Mohammed in America. I don't know why, but it's something they just need to do. It's some weird cultural thing, I think. So when someone says hi, just draw them a quick sketch of Mohammed, hand it to them with a knowing smile and walk off. They'll think yr a local coz that's what Americans do when greeting each other.
3. If a local persists in trying to get you to talk and give yr tourist status away, just whip up a cartoon of Mohammed having sex with Pamela Geller, and in a fake French accent say '#JeSuisPamelaGeller'. And then when the cops turn up to put a stop to yr impromtu x-rated Mohammed and Pammy exhibition because of obscenity something something, start yelling in a fake American accent 'FREEDOM OF SPEECH! IT'S ONE OF THOSE AMENDMENT THINGS!'
4. Send me a postcard.

April 28, 2015

There's been so much wailing about crews and fan clubs in this thread...

So I'm starting my own Yuck It Up Crew. I'm going to be very discerning about who can join coz I don't want anyone sneaking in who doesn't have a sense of humour or think that themselves frothing at the mouth is them just having fun. You get automatic membership, though I am very worried that in making you a member, I'm going to be accused of being a lemming and being in yr fan club. I'm starting to lose track of all the fan clubs I'm finding out I'm a member of!

Whoo hoo! It hit 500 posts! My work here is done!

April 6, 2015

Scoot, I sense a communication breakdown....

I get totally what yr saying. Alas, I fear there's a communication problem here, so let me handle it...

There's always someone at the end of the keyboard.



Sometimes crap stuff happens to them and it sucks



We send them hugs and listen to them



Except if it's some fuckwit who's all for bombing the shit out of assorted Arabs and Iranians and then they turn up and start a thread about how someone keyed their car and then returned the next day and stole all the tyres off it. HA! Karma!



But we should send them hugs and listen to them too because they're someone at the end of a keyboard and stuff.



Lots more pics of smiley happy things tra la la...






He needs a panda hug



Enough! Everyone needs to be nice to each other! Everyone needs to be watching this song whenever they post and there won't be any nasty posts ever!

February 2, 2015

You forgot a few options. Their social media policy shows some vunherabilities...

We could:

Send them over to Twitter and insert them in the middle of an Iggy Azalea vs American hip-hop/respected shoe designers/whoever else she hates today rant. After a few hours of reading that badly spelt stream of idiocy they'll all behead themselves. Problem solved.

or

Elect someone at DU who talks about ISIS a lot when they're not scouring the globe to locate that elusive 'moderate' Muslim (not my words) to start a massive thread in GD about how much ISIS suck. That won't sway ISIS, but when they spot the obligatory cute kitten thread that's sure to be lurking on the front page of GD they'll see the light and realise no-one's going to allow them to adopt a fur baby when they're running round beheading people and being all murdery.

No. Wait. Yr talking about what the US and not DU should do? I'm not sure it should do much else than what it's doing now. Going in there all guns blazing and killing lots of civilians for some reason might not go down well with the locals that the US would be trying to protect.

This song's for all the keyboard warriors out there. It has things in common with them...

January 14, 2015

Little known Stephanie Bannister fact - Halal's the capital city of the country called Islam...

I was going to go visit but Stephanie Bannister invaded it before I could and destroyed it with a bunch of butt ugly stickers. Thankfully they've rebuilt the capital nearby and named it Muslim...

LOL. I didn't realise she got mentioned by the US media. I remember when she was on the news here and pissing myself laughing at what she was saying

January 14, 2015

I'm not gonna be a damn defensive liberal so I'm off to try to get halal banned!

Someone on Facebook told me that eating something that's halal is forcIng Islam on us and it just helps Muslims take over the world. I thought they were a raving nutter at the time, especially after asking them if they wanted to ban kosher stuff as well and getting a one word response; 'antisemite!' But now I see I was just being a defensive liberal I'm off to join any groups that have the words 'against islamization' in them. It's not like they're bigoted against Muslims or anything. If they were they'd burn and vandalize all mosques, not just a few.

January 12, 2015

I'm from a small and obscure country called Murdochistan...

The adherents of our two state sanctioned religions were Cricketists and Murdochists. Murdochists controlled and owned the media and kept the Cricketists happy by devoting at least 12 pages each issue to reporting on events at their holy houses of worship. Those of us who silently refused to succumb to the pus-filled growth of either religion didn't understand the Cricketists strange ways, where they'd spend five days at a time at their religious ceremonies sitting out in the sun getting burnt and drinking from their sacred brew while their spiritual leaders all dressed in white stood out in the middle of a big green field doing not much at all for the entire five days. But the Murdochists understood. The Cricket holy men were violent and would constantly slaughter the English, the Kiwis, the Indians, Pakistan, and the West Indies. These bloodbaths kept on happening with the support of the Cricketists and the enablers of the Barmy Army who'd commandeer multiple 747s and come to our small country to engage in holy war and sing to the tune of Yellow Submarine 'You all live in a convict colony! A convict colony! A convict colony!'

The Murdochists were not happy. Their main holy man took to twitter and tweeted: 'Maybe most Cricketists peaceful, but until they recognize and destroy their growing Cricket loving cancer they must be held responsible.'

Problem was everyone thought he was a totally insane old wanker, and next thing we knew he'd vanished. We still have no idea where he went or what he did next, though there were rumours he was in some exotic land tapping phones of parents of murdered children for shits and giggles.

But the damage had been done. He'd left the remnants of his terrorist cell behind, and Andrew Bolt and Piers Ackerman continued to preach in the bloviated and dullard style so embraced by Murdochists everywhere. A smaller religion, Rugby League was decimated by the Murdochist forces, and some suspect he had a hand in reducing the five day Cricket ceremonies to smaller 20 over a side ones that suck all the spiritual significance out of the religion, but are good for adherents who are time limited.

SO DON'T TRY TO FUCKING HOLD ME RESPONSIBLE FOR MURDOCH! I WON'T STAND FOR IT!

September 6, 2014

My tribute to Whisp

Dear Whisp. I didn't know you, but after reading this thread full of sock-puppetry, yelling, and hidden posts, I feel I know you well enough to put a few heart-felt words together.

I vaguely remember we bumped into each other in the early days of DU3. You were yelling at me about something, but no hard feelings. I know you must have been yelling at me in a nice way, because I'd forgotten all about it by the time I read yr post and moved onto the next one.

Thank you for being the impetus for this thread, which was an awesome and entertaining read. Everything's here, except for much talking about you, the subject of the OP. I want more. I'd even suggest you create another sock-puppet and go straight to ATA to confront Skinner and EarlG on how little Whisp talk there was in this thread, but they're such party poopers the way they notice when sock puppets do that. So, I'll leave you with this sage advice for any future DU adventures. Farewell for now....