It's time we stopped using the 'boys will be boys' line

[ismnotwasm]

When writing about how men treat women, every female columnist has been told at some point that “boys will be boys”. I’m not overly prickly when it comes to responses to my writing, but nothing goads me quite like those four little words. There’s a tiny kernel of truth to the statement, but the sentiment is too often used to normalise men being violent, aggressive, predatory and sexist. Us women are routinely told we just need to accept that. It’s both a distortion of the masculine experience, and a subversion of the female one.

Earlier this year, the US Department of Justice uncovered "substantial evidence" that sexism in a Montana county attorney's office led to prosecutors dropping rape cases and humiliating victims in the process. Following an investigation, it was found that rape victims had been "treated with disrespect, not informed of the status of their case, and re-victimised by the process." When a mother had asked a county attorney why the adolescent boy who had assaulted her five year-old daughter had only received two years of community service, the attorney responded, "boys will be boys."

The case of a US warehouse worker, identified only as John Doe, went to court with claims of sexual harassment and abuse in an all-male warehouse. When he was then dismissed, he believed this was part of a retaliation for his complaints. The case was ruled in favour of the employer, as Doe was retrenched with 11 other workers. The court did find however that the language and behaviour of those involved did “cross the line of social responsibility”, but they were unwilling to assist in a general rule that would make employers liable for “bad language” and “boorish” behaviour, presumably because “boys will be boys”.

Early last year, a report into the toxic culture of the Australian swimming team was revealed, followed by details of an incident where members of the male members of the team took the prescription drug Stilnox as part of a “bonding session”. Olympic swim team member Jade Neilsen spoke out to the media about the relay team’s behaviour towards her and another female teammate that night, terming it “completely inappropriate … so inappropriate it was not funny”. Coach Leigh Nugent admitted that he had received complaints about what had happened but had brushed off the incident as childish behaviour. A few days later, Australian female swimmer Cate Campbell was asked on morning TV about the allegations. Clearly uncomfortable, she eventually offered “boys will be boys”.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/02/its-time-we-stop-using-the-boys-will-be-boys-line

[redqueen]

1. Way past time actually.

K&R

[nomorenomore08]

2. Bad behavior should never be excused as part of a person's nature.

Especially not when there's proof all over the place that (at least most) people are capable of better.

[redqueen]

4. Yep. Parents teach their children that it is rude to stare.

Last edited Thu Apr 3, 2014, 11:08 AM - Edit history (2)

But media and social conditioning make it clear that this kind of rude and disrespectful behavior is not only acceptable when the target is a girl or a woman (because biology/boners), but encouraged.

[IronLionZion]

3. Individuals will be individuals

haters gonna hate

[CrispyQ]

5. This:

The harm this little line can do is clear, but another under-reported consequence is that if anger and aggression are painted as normal male behaviours, men are not inclined to find appropriate ways to channel their emotions, which can sometimes lead to self medication or alcohol abuse. That’s not to say we don’t rebel against male violence (we do, calling it out when it spills on to the streets), but the root cause of it (we’ve taught boys to be boys) is almost never discussed. Ultimately, nothing changes.