Thu Jan 24, 2013, 10:50 AM
seabeyond (109,534 posts)
How Some Men Harass Women Online and What Other Men Can Do to Stop It
When I write about feminism and men’s violence against women, I often receive supportive comments. While some of the praise is earned, much of it gives me a lot of credit for doing very little. When women write about those same topics, it’s a different story. We men threaten women bloggers and writers with rape and murder. We call women “man-haters,” verbally abuse them, hack into their email accounts and stalk them. We alter photos of women, putting cuts and bruises on their faces. Then we excuse ourselves, saying we were “just joking–can’t you feminists take a joke?”
3. Write, “I think you’re right,” in Comments sections of articles, Facebook postings etc. of feminist women. Whether or not they’ve been harassed or attacked, agree with them and do so publicly.
4. When men harass women online, speak up. We can say something like, “As a man, your harassing comment offends me,” in the Comments sections. Say how it hurts you rather than speaking on behalf of the target.
5. Name the specific silencing tactic being used: name-calling, focusing on a woman’s appearance instead of her argument, etc.
7. Watch for “professional trolls” from the “Men’s Rights” or “Father’s Rights” groups. They will often use terms such as “misandry” and refer to the feminist movement as anti-male or the domestic violence movement as an “industry.”
6 replies, 1185 views
How Some Men Harass Women Online and What Other Men Can Do to Stop It (Original post)
Response to seabeyond (Original post)
Thu Jan 24, 2013, 11:28 AM
redqueen (109,228 posts)
3. Love this.
Racists harass people online; so do homophobes. Most people agree this is harassment. But my gender’s online harassment of women seems to go unquestioned, even defended in most circles. Yet men’s online abuse of women has been well-documented by women such as Laurie Penney, Jennifer Pozner, Emily May and many other women.
Richard Rogers and Vanessa Thorpe called for a stop to such harassment in the Guardian two years ago. But most men have remained silent, as we do with many forms of our gender’s violence against women. Many of us blame the victim, suggesting things women can do differently to ameliorate the problem. We tell women to grow a thicker skin, not to “feed the trolls” and not to assume all men feel that way. Or we ride in on a white horse to “save” the poor damsels by insulting the insulters or threatening violence against those who are threatening violence. This makes us feel better, but often does little to help the women being attacked or stop the violence from happening.
When men are harassed online, it’s often because they are speaking out against rape culture. Comedian Jamie Kilstein reports receiving a few combative emails after questioning God’s existence or challenging Glenn Beck–but he received “thousands” after challenging rape culture. “There is a cost for betraying one’s privilege … (although) nowhere near the costs borne by the marginalized,” says Don Bell of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism:
Response to seabeyond (Original post)
Sun Jan 27, 2013, 03:41 PM
Dash87 (3,220 posts)
5. I disagree with #4, simply bc many are trolls.
The ones that aren't have no brains, and can't argue without sounding like the trolls. Arguing with a troll is a waste of time, as you'll just get the usual "get in teh kichen!!1!1!" and "misandry!" crap, and nothing worthwhile will ever come of it.
They don't care that "it hurts." Most are either 12 years old or insanely stupid.
Response to Dash87 (Reply #5)
Sun Jan 27, 2013, 05:18 PM
ismnotwasm (27,783 posts)
6. There are other ways to express it
Trading insults is usually not worth it. Usually. I also wouldn't talk about hurt feelings, first on a personal level, idiots don't hurt my feelings anyway, but more importantly, 'hurt' implies weakness and these creeper fuckers revel in that shit.
But there are ways to point things out from a position of strength. Of course they'll never agree, but poke at these types enough and they angry, like any other bully. They get angry, you make fun of their anger. That's one way to separate someone who wants to have a discussion vs. a creeper troll.
The question is, since it takes a little time and effort, is it worth it in a particular circumstance.