Ted Cruz Will Win Back America By Mentioning Reagan, Sexting

[niyad]

Ted Cruz Will Win Back America By Mentioning Reagan, Sexting


image:
He's got spirit, yes he does!

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Calgary) was on FIRE, y’all, preaching so hard at the attendees of this year’s Conservative Political Action Conference, and unlike most of the other RINO speakers, he didn’t need no stinkin’ TelePrompter to testify, praise the lord!

Cruz came out swingin’ like a BOSS. Or maybe like a PRESIDENT? (No, not like a president. Nothing like a president. Seriously, dude, you’re never gonna be president. It is not going to happen. We’d suggest you give up now, but it’s too fun watching you try, so go on, go on!)

. . . .

OK! Right to the God stuff, then, although we highly doubt God blesses CPAC so much as he keeps it on in the background, occasionally unmuting it for a chuckle if he’s super bored.
“This is a room full of patriots,” Cruz said, and then blah blah “America is in jeopardy” blah blah “freedom in our country” blah blah all those standard Cruzian talking points he’s polishing for Iowa and New Hampshire. Speaking-in-tongues of which:
The men and women of CPAC are going to play a fundamental decision in how we turn this country around. The men and women gathered here today are going to play a critical role in reigniting the miracle of America. How do we do that? How do we win? How do we bring back the miracle that is America? Number one: We reassemble the Reagan coalition.

Ah yes, the obligatory Zombie Reagan skull-fucking portion of any Republican presidential wannabe’s argument to the base that he (or she, yes yes, we know Carly Fiorina is totally ready to be the one who takes on Hillary Clinton) is The One True Reagan Heir. That’s how you get to the 51 percent you need to win, Ted tells the crowd. And then you can cram your conservative agenda down the liberals’ throats the way el jefe Obama has crammed Communism down our throats lo these last, dark years.

. . . .



Read more at http://wonkette.com/577693/ted-cruz-will-win-back-america-by-mentioning-reagan-sexting#vFoYli46beMehIeI.99

[cheapdate]

1. Good stuff, Wonkette.

[AverageJoe90]

2. Teddy Roosevelt, you ain't, Mr. Cruz.

Why dont'cha just march yourself back to Calgary, buddy? I hear Steve Harper could use some company upon his retirement from the PM's office.....

[niyad]

3. we can but hope

[John Poet]

4. He can't be President, period.

He's Canadian born.

Where's his Birth Certificate?

Seriously, why does he go on with the charade?
Trying to generate political capital, or does he seriously believe this matter will be ignored?

[niyad]

5. don't forget that der gropenator was considered a serious candidate--actual talk of

amending the constitution so that he could run.

little, insignificant things like facts don't matter to the crazies.