11 Lesser-Known 2012 Presidential Candidates
1. Vermin Supreme wears a boot on his head, carries a giant toothbrush, and last month glitterbombed Randall Terry at the Lesser Known Candidate Debate. His Democratic campaign promises ponies for everyone, strict toothbrushing laws, and funding for time travel research.
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7. Brian J. Moran is the only candidate running for the Jedi party this election cycle.
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9. “Average Joe” Schriner spends his time painting houses, doing light handiwork, and trying to beat his wife at Scrabble when he’s not on campaign tour. He has a degree in Journalism from Bowling Green State University and, thanks to his extensive campaigning over four successive bids for the presidency, Schriner says he’s learned how to end homelessness, end global warming “for good,” balance the national budget, and handle immigration concerns.
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