Adopt-A-Priest... and no, this is not from The Onion

[theHandpuppet]

BBC News
19 May 2014
Catholic Church in 'adopt-a-priest' ad campaign

The Catholic Church in France is offering worshippers the chance to "adopt a priest" in an attempt to raise funds, it seems.

The campaign, launched by six dioceses in Normandy, apes an existing French dating website called Adopt a Guy. The campaign says men of the cloth of all ages are available - from trainee seminary priests to retired (but still active) pastors - the 20Minutes news website reports. The video promises "divine products" for potential adopters, and site users are given the chance to help pay for everyday expenses such as meals, clothes and transport.

The online campaign at adoptuncure.com targets 18-40 year-olds, and is aimed at reviving the dwindling number of people giving to the church. According to French newspaper Liberation, donations are one of the main sources of the Catholic Church's income. The diocese of Rouen, which reported 15,000 regular donors in 2013, loses 500-700 each year, and relies on those remaining to be increasingly generous.... http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-27471392

Hey, they're even running a half price sale for one guy!

Now personally, I think this is a great idea. It would be especially nice if we could use this template for an "Adopt An Atheist" campaign. I would really appreciate some help with meals, clothes and transport but since I really can't offer "divine products", what would be the exchange? Any ideas, anyone? Oh... and I'm just an old lesbian, so don't get fresh.

[AtheistCrusader]

1. From a church so weathly it's been deemed impossible to calculate anything resembling the amount.

[trotsky]

3. +1 n/t

[Rob H.]

6. Sickening, isn't it?

There's a Southern Baptist megachurch near me that devoted several sermons to the importance of tithing (I happened to catch one of them on Sunday-morning TV while channel surfing; sometimes I like to keep an eye on what the crazy fundies are up to) and the pastor seemed to really have his nose out of joint that donations were down.

Meanwhile, the church complex sits on 377 meticulously-tended acres, has several baseball fields, soccer fields, tennis courts, a standalone fitness center, you name it. If they were really so concerned about their finances maybe they could sell some of their land or stop spending stupid amounts of money on sports facilities. Or--and here's a really crazy idea--they could stop paying their pastor $400,000 a year. Sometimes the hypocrisy is just jaw-dropping.

[Lordquinton]

2. "divine products"

Is this another indulgence scam? or are they at least offering something substantial this time?

[theHandpuppet]

4. I don't think this is the kind of "Divine products" they have in mind

Last edited Wed May 21, 2014, 10:54 AM - Edit history (1)

[TxDemChem]

9. I love that!

[theHandpuppet]

15. Died much too young

Divine was truly iconic.

[TxDemChem]

18. Definitely.

[onager]

5. Ain't buying this (no pun intended).

Has anybody else here ever been to the Vatican?

I have, and as A.C. noted above, the corporate church is so damn rich its wealth is literally incalculable. Doesn't any of the money from Rome filter down to the franchises?

When I visited Catholic corporate headquarters, it was in February when I stupidly thought crowds would be smaller. Nope. The line to see the Sistine Chapel was all the way around the block, even in a cold drizzling rain.

Coming out of the Vatican tour into St. Peter's Square, the whole area is jammed with tacky little junk shops hawking Vatican souvenirs. Most authorized by the Church, I'm guessing, since many of these places are staffed by 200-year-old nuns.

Thought about buying some Vatican stamps in one of these places as a souvenir. Until I saw the price and involuntarily yelped "Jesus Christ!," earning me a Severe Look from one of the elderly Sisters of The Eternal Cash Register.

Eavesdropped on a tour guide talking about how St. Peter's Square was the very spot where Xians were executed in the early days of the Church. Since it was the end of the tour anyway (and they couldn't throw me out), I helpfully added that St. Peter's Square was also the very spot where Italian Jews were rounded up for deportation to the death camps in 1943. There's no reason I can't be an annoying asshole and historically helpful at the same time...

[theHandpuppet]

7. Explaining the church's finances is nearly impossible

Here are a couple of links that might help shed some light:

http://www.cnbc.com/id/100554748
http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2013/03/catholic_church_and_pope_francis_religious_institutions_are_exempted_from.html
http://ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/finances-within-catholic-church

Now please don't ask me to explain any of that but yes, it's entirely possible for a diocese to declare bankruptcy and some did during the time the church was settling sex abuse lawsuits.

[onager]

8. Thanks. Interesting reading.

I knew some of that, but some was new to me.

The dioceses declaring bankruptcy and downsizing I remember. Here in Los Angeles, Cardinal Roger Mahony built a mammoth new monument to his ego...er, a new cathedral. At around the same time, several California dioceses were dealing with the expensive sex-abuse scandals involving Father Oliver O'Grady et. al. So there was a pretty big financial meltdown just in this state.

O'Grady's story was covered in the great if infuriating documentary "Deliver Us From Evil." It has some good footage of Cardinal Balony stonewalling during the legal proceedings.

And the Catholic Church will be delighted to know that I've come up with a way to save them a bunch of money!

Shut down those "Vatican diplomatic embassies" and quit pretending you're a sovereign nation. You're a church. The idea of the Vatican State is a legal fiction and a joke.

We can thank the famous religious leader Benito Mussolini for that piece of nonsense. He's the one who gave Vatican City its "statehood," back in the 1920s.

[AlbertCat]

10. I imagined one of those abused pet ads....

cue tinkly mellow piano music

"Just look into the face of a priest that needs your support... for just $25 a day, you can help a priest that needs...uh.... a new cassock...."

[Curmudgeoness]

11. Buying their way to heaven.

I guess if it makes them feel better, who am I to rain on their parade. What was it Barnum said?

[theHandpuppet]

12. I'm just trying to figure out my angle for "Adopt an Atheist"

I certainly can't offer any "divine products", so exactly what special dispensations would my benefactor receive that only an atheist could provide?

[Curmudgeoness]

13. I think you as SOL.

My only suggestion is that you can promise them that you will not pray for them.

[theHandpuppet]

14. Well, I think you may be on to something

Rather than promise them what I'll do, I can promise them what I'll never do. There may actually be a market for that!

[onager]

16. After-Rapture Pet Care!

Here you go! Do a good deed for Raptured Xians and make money at the same time.

I know most of these offers were hoaxes, but this one was written up at MSN Money in 2011. And it wasn't reported on April 1, like I was expecting...

http://money.msn.com/shopping-deals/article.aspx?post=56c49c8f-8509-40ba-b035-26c2e5093b9b

[theHandpuppet]

17. Great idea!

But damn, I see someone beat me to it -- and they're already making money!!

[Arugula Latte]

19. Why doesn't the RCC just change its name to Grifters Inc. and be done with it already?