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The Story ‘Bout Abe... (Atheist Pig) (Original Post) pokerfan Jan 2013 OP
But... but... complex theology!!!!! nt uriel1972 Jan 2013 #1
That story has always bothered me pokerfan Jan 2013 #3
think of it as a myth about the divine abolition of human sacrifice. Warren Stupidity Jan 2013 #5
I understand being brainwashed as a child amuse bouche Jan 2013 #2
That story... trotsky Jan 2013 #4
Genesis 34 is a great story to scare the crap out of everyone too. Curmudgeoness Jan 2013 #6
They always leave out the first line of that story Lordquinton Feb 2013 #7
Relevant: Lewis Black on the Old Testament. backscatter712 Feb 2013 #8
From Arcade Fire and T Bone Burnett Trajan Feb 2013 #9
Let's not forget Jephthah's Daughter intaglio Feb 2013 #10
Not to mention the underlying notion that the appropriate approach to every event... FiveGoodMen Feb 2013 #11

pokerfan

(27,677 posts)
3. That story has always bothered me
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 12:33 PM
Jan 2013
Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be true. - Thomas Paine
 

Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts)
5. think of it as a myth about the divine abolition of human sacrifice.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 06:19 PM
Jan 2013

But that really doesn't make it any less awful.

amuse bouche

(3,657 posts)
2. I understand being brainwashed as a child
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:46 AM
Jan 2013

Been there..done that. But to not question and become absolutely disgusted with the nonsense, as you mature, is unconscionable

trotsky

(49,533 posts)
4. That story...
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 03:17 PM
Jan 2013

and the one about the prophet being mocked by some kids (KIDS!) for his bald head and god sending bears to devour them are two of the most outlandish and indefensible bible stories there are. (Not that there isn't a plethora of others competing with them!)

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
6. Genesis 34 is a great story to scare the crap out of everyone too.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 08:47 PM
Jan 2013

"Dinah gets raped. Dicks are trimmed, men murdered, and families are enslaved."

I found a great rendition of the story here (including a LOLcat):

http://www.godlessgirl.com/2011/03/wtf-bible-stories-rape-marriage-and-circumcision/

Lordquinton

(7,886 posts)
7. They always leave out the first line of that story
Sun Feb 3, 2013, 09:09 PM
Feb 2013

God said unto Abraham "Abraham, What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"

backscatter712

(26,355 posts)
8. Relevant: Lewis Black on the Old Testament.
Thu Feb 7, 2013, 12:51 PM
Feb 2013


The entire clip is funny, though the relevant part starts about 5:45 or so.

"HEY ABRAHAM! COME HERE! COOOOME HERE!!! BRING YOUR KID! LET'S BARBECUE HIM! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

intaglio

(8,170 posts)
10. Let's not forget Jephthah's Daughter
Mon Feb 11, 2013, 04:23 PM
Feb 2013

'Cos the Big Y didn't intervene to save her

11:30 And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands,
11:31 Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.
11:32 So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD delivered them into his hands.
11:33 And he smote them from Aroer, even till thou come to Minnith, even twenty cities, and unto the plain of the vineyards, with a very great slaughter. Thus the children of Ammon were subdued before the children of Israel.
11:34 And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter.
11:35 And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back.
11:36 And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon.
11:37 And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows.
11:38 And he said, Go. And he sent her away for two months: and she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains.
11:39 And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed: and she knew no man. And it was a custom in Israel,

FiveGoodMen

(20,018 posts)
11. Not to mention the underlying notion that the appropriate approach to every event...
Mon Feb 11, 2013, 04:52 PM
Feb 2013

...a sin, a victory, saving the human race, just killing time...

The proper response is always to find someone or something innocent and kill it.

Worse when it's his daughter, but who came up with the whole sacrifice idea to begin with?

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