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Mon Jan 28, 2013, 11:36 PM

The Story ‘Bout Abe... (Atheist Pig)

11 replies, 1291 views

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Arrow 11 replies Author Time Post
Reply The Story ‘Bout Abe... (Atheist Pig) (Original post)
pokerfan Jan 2013 OP
uriel1972 Jan 2013 #1
pokerfan Jan 2013 #3
Warren Stupidity Jan 2013 #5
amuse bouche Jan 2013 #2
trotsky Jan 2013 #4
Curmudgeoness Jan 2013 #6
Lordquinton Feb 2013 #7
backscatter712 Feb 2013 #8
Trajan Feb 2013 #9
intaglio Feb 2013 #10
FiveGoodMen Feb 2013 #11

Response to pokerfan (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 04:57 AM

1. But... but... complex theology!!!!! nt

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Response to uriel1972 (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 11:33 AM

3. That story has always bothered me

Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be true. - Thomas Paine

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Response to pokerfan (Reply #3)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:19 PM

5. think of it as a myth about the divine abolition of human sacrifice.

But that really doesn't make it any less awful.

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Response to pokerfan (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 10:46 AM

2. I understand being brainwashed as a child

Been there..done that. But to not question and become absolutely disgusted with the nonsense, as you mature, is unconscionable

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Response to amuse bouche (Reply #2)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 02:17 PM

4. That story...

and the one about the prophet being mocked by some kids (KIDS!) for his bald head and god sending bears to devour them are two of the most outlandish and indefensible bible stories there are. (Not that there isn't a plethora of others competing with them!)

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Response to trotsky (Reply #4)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 07:47 PM

6. Genesis 34 is a great story to scare the crap out of everyone too.

"Dinah gets raped. Dicks are trimmed, men murdered, and families are enslaved."

I found a great rendition of the story here (including a LOLcat):

http://www.godlessgirl.com/2011/03/wtf-bible-stories-rape-marriage-and-circumcision/

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Response to pokerfan (Original post)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 08:09 PM

7. They always leave out the first line of that story

God said unto Abraham "Abraham, What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"

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Response to pokerfan (Original post)

Thu Feb 7, 2013, 11:51 AM

8. Relevant: Lewis Black on the Old Testament.



The entire clip is funny, though the relevant part starts about 5:45 or so.

"HEY ABRAHAM! COME HERE! COOOOME HERE!!! BRING YOUR KID! LET'S BARBECUE HIM! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

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Response to pokerfan (Original post)

Sat Feb 9, 2013, 09:00 PM

9. From Arcade Fire and T Bone Burnett



A different telling of the tale ...

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Response to pokerfan (Original post)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 03:23 PM

10. Let's not forget Jephthah's Daughter

'Cos the Big Y didn't intervene to save her
11:30 And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands,
11:31 Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.
11:32 So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD delivered them into his hands.
11:33 And he smote them from Aroer, even till thou come to Minnith, even twenty cities, and unto the plain of the vineyards, with a very great slaughter. Thus the children of Ammon were subdued before the children of Israel.
11:34 And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter.
11:35 And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back.
11:36 And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon.
11:37 And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows.
11:38 And he said, Go. And he sent her away for two months: and she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains.
11:39 And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed: and she knew no man. And it was a custom in Israel,

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Response to intaglio (Reply #10)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 03:52 PM

11. Not to mention the underlying notion that the appropriate approach to every event...

...a sin, a victory, saving the human race, just killing time...

The proper response is always to find someone or something innocent and kill it.

Worse when it's his daughter, but who came up with the whole sacrifice idea to begin with?

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