Gah---My previously non-religious but spiritual mother has gone whole hog God crazy

[Heddi]

I grew up in a pretty non-religious household.

I spent most weekends growing up with my Great-Grandmother, and on Sunday's I'd go with her to the methodist church up the street...I think she went mostly for the social aspect and that's why I went, too, as a young person up through age 12. It was something to do, the camps were neat, and at 12:01pm on Sunday all god talk ended as soon as we walked out of the church front doors.

My mom has always been a spiritual person, but never religious. Never went to church (except as a child for a very brief period of time), and religion was neither forced nor denied to me as a child...her view was "believe what you want to believe and don't let anyone tell you you're wrong for what you think".

So I pretty much, after age 12, was patently agnostic and now, at age 36, consider myself an agnostic atheist (Unsure 100% if there is anything, but if I had to guess I side heavily on the side that there is not anything out there that I would consider a "higher power". More than that, I'm a "I don't really care one way or anotherist" )

Anyways...so that's how my mom has been for all of my life. Spiritual with a heavy dash of woo (ghosts, spirits, alien abductions) but no serious GOD talk...

until lately.

About a year ago she started doing some bible correspondence classes or something...I don't know. At home bible study lessons.

Oh lord...

The woman who had me watch Cosmos every time it came on PBS, and professed her love of Carl Sagan (and who, by proxy, made ME love Carl Sagan as well) posts on Facebook a few weeks ago about a show she watched on PBS "Watching those weaver birds make those nests are why I could NEVER believe in Evolution!!! GOD IS GREAT"

I responded "Mom, can you tell me exactly when you went insane?"

Today she posts:

LET'S KEEP THIS GOING ......HEAVENLY FATHER, WALK THROUGH MY HOUSE AND TAKE AWAY ALL MY WORRIES AND ANY ILLNESSES, AND PLEASE WATCH OVER AND HEAL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS... BRING QUIET WHERE THERE IS CHAOS, BRING LIGHT WHERE THERE IS DARKNESS, AND PUT LOVE IN OUR HEARTS .... IN JESUS NAME.... AMEN .... THIS PRAYER IS SO POWERFUL ....STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND RE-POST! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR

I reply
God reads facebook? who knew?!

then I think about it and post this:

Maybe he should stop facebooking and try saving some babies from getting 90% burns on their bodies when their house catches on fire, or stop some 7 year old from getting a brain tumor. Or stop that single parent of 3 kids from suffering a devestating stroke and leaving their family destitute. Or end some starving or something.

-----------

It's odd, and frustrating. My previously woo-based but still intelligent mother who taught me about evolution and science and the stars has seemingly lost her mind and is all PRAISE JESUS all the time.

Her entire view of the world has shifted. ANd it's not just PRAISE JESUS religion--it's end time prophecies, too. It's all this crazy shit.
---

Sorry...this post has no point other than to just express my frustration with the only parent I have turning from someone who it was possible to have a rational conversation with into someone who has to pepper every conversation I have with her about God, and his wonderfulness, and how he has bettered her life (even though she's sicker than she's ever been, Works 60+ hours a week and barely makes more than $25k a year, has a no-good boyfriend who runs her dry..)

sigh.

[AlbertCat]

1. " don't let anyone tell you you're wrong"

Yeah but... what if you are wrong....?

My best friend from high school did the same thing. I can't stand to even talk to him any more because it's all "my faith... god this, god that". I only have negative responses to all that crap and I don't want to be negative so I just don't talk to him anymore. We were lab partners in science classes so I know he knows better!

It all came about when he got married to a girl whose family is fundie, plus his mother is fundie.... so I imagine it was easier to just give in.

[Heddi]

2. it's so odd because, well, I've known her my whole life

and this is just such a sudden 180 from how she's been for the previous 34 years until now....

she's always posting god crap on my facebook page (which I promptly delete). she knows i'm a non-believer and doesn't care. It's hard to have a conversation with her because, like with your friend, it's all god, all the time.

the other day I was playing Words with Friends with her, and she sent me a text that said how god had blessed her with a 1994 extended cab dually this that or the other truck. Super. What the fuck does she need a truck for? THAT big of a truck? It's ridiculous. So I asked her if god had blessed her with getting better than 7 mpg on her monstrosity of a vehicle, or perhaps he blessed her with less than a 45 mile commute each way to her job?

[AlbertCat]

4. god had blessed her....

Isn't it strange how self centered fundie babble is?

A while back I got caught with 1/2 a joint in the car and the judge ordered me to go to 15 NA meetings. Talk about excessive punishment!

Anyway, I noticed while being forced to attend these cult meetings that anything good that happens to them, god did. Anything bad was their transgression.

It's a strange narcissistic but masochistic kinda blame game.

[stuntcat]

6. omg 'blessed' with a big gas-guzzler :((

I would not handle this well.. I'm pretty sure my Mom's un-religious but she does get into that spiritual stuff. I get a twinge of fear thinking of this happening. My step-dad sings at church sometimes and she never goes with him, so there's that at least!

I don't know how much she thinks about science, but NO one in my family better tell me they don't believe in evolution.


I'm sorry

[DavidDvorkin]

3. This could be due to a medical problem

The change is so radical.

[Warpy]

5. Well, you do have to see the attraction

All her life she's been a magical thinker, surrounded by ghosts and pixies and being looked at oddly by more sensible people outside the health food store.

All of a sudden, she finds a whole bunch of magical thinkers and they've got their own spiffy bunch of buildings and they all say they think alike, praise Jebus! She's probably thinking she's found heaven on earth, and from her viewpoint, she probably has.

It's going to be hard as hell for you, I'm afraid, but if I can maintain a friendship with a new Jehovah's Witless convert, you can manage to tolerate your mother's new nuttiness while maintaining your own personal boundaries. Just keep reminding her that you're not religious but "hey, that's nice, Mom, now how about the Red Sox?" And if she starts to harangue or babble, hang up the phone or walk out of the room, calling back or coming back in half an hour and asking if she's done.

You only get one mother. Mine was a hardass, yours believes in sky pixies. No matter how critical mine was, I always felt I owed it to her to stay in touch. YMMV, of course, but maintaining those personal boundaries will help the process and you can always hope the infection is short lived.

Courage!

[Generic Brad]

7. Something similar happened to my mom a few years back

I am a respectable, law abiding citizen. But the two things I did that upset her was quit going to church and to marry a foreigner of a different race. Apparently those are transgressions that she believes reserved me a place in hell. At no time did I wear my atheism on my sleeve or say anything negative about her beliefs (or anyone else, for that matter).

You are right. Family can be exceptionally frustrating to deal with. The concept of "live and let live" does not seem to apply.

[Heddi]

8. The ridiculous thing

is that she is *SO* fucking cafeteria about the whole thing. Oh god has blessed me with this and that, and God is great...but it's okay to live with her live-in boyfriend without the benefit of marriage (note: I do not have a problem with this--I'm a bisexual female married with a straight male in a polyamorous/swinger relationship), to call black people by the N-word (I do have a problem with this)..I mean, God is great god is good but technically she's going to hell because she's living in sin, and always has lived in Sin.

But her response to that is that "HER" god doesn't care about things like that, so she can disregard THAT aspect of christianity (and she does call herself an Xtian). And she can disregard X part of the bible, because to live by that rule or apply that standard to her life would be an inconvenience.

I perhaps would have a bit better of a time with her recent conversion if it weren't so contrived and bullshitty. I mean, I had an aunt who was Jehovah's Witness, and I thought her beliefs were pretty kooky, but she LIVED what she preached. She never asked of anyone something she wasn't willing to do herself. So I can respect her for that, even though the beliefs themselves I don't necessarily respect.

edit to add:

And it makes it super annoying that she's so pick and choose and once an hour she's posting this and that bible verse, cluttering up my facebook page (yes, I know I can do something about this...) but in one breath the bible is the word, and in another breath "oh god didn't mean it THAT way..."when it's something that she doesn't agree with or whatever.

[dmosh42]

9. Since I went through that with my father, my theory is that when you get older, some get scared...

and the best policy is a CYA (cover-your-ass) policy. Suddenly, they're not so sure God hasn't been watching them, and better get your ducks in a row!

[kdmorris]

10. I went through this with my older sister and parents

She used to be my best friend - raised by a man who hated religion, but did believe in god. Suddenly she starts going to this church (I called it a cult) and acting like she just HAD to convert me (and my children). I tolerated it for a couple of years and finally told her that I loved her dearly, but if she couldn't confine her discussions to sisterly things, I would prefer that she just stop talking to me (I don't care if she talks about her church or her missionary trips. I just wanted her to stop telling me I was going to hell and needed to "believe again" to avoid that.) I realize that, from her perspective, I was headed for some horrible fate and she loved me enough to try to avoid that.

However, after I told her to knock it off, she got the idea and went back to just being my big sister and friend. Oddly enough, she moved from Maryland (where her cult was) to Oklahoma of all places and became MUCH more tolerant and moderate. My jaw dropped when she told me she had voted for Obama...


My parents have both gotten back into religion, too. It's hard to deal with, but I think that it's just scary being in your mid-60's and realizing that you don't have much time left to "get it right". But it still makes me roll my eyes when my mother tells me to "have a blessed day".... I mean REALLY?

I try to make sure that all of them know that I still love them, but I'm not going to magically turn to religion and I would prefer to not discuss religion or politics, if they can't do it civilly or without being insulting.

Good luck!

[redqueen]

11. A couple of other people have mentioned mortality,

and that was my first thought as well, especially after reading that she's sicker than ever.

Religion does offer a sense of comfort, and a short-cut kind of way to acknowledging that you really are not (nor ever were) that much in control, despite appearances.

I'm not sure how to deal with it really. My religious family members know my beliefs; I ignore their Jesus-y comments and they ignore my far less frequent atheist-y comments.

[Arugula Latte]

12. Sounds like her mind is deteriorating

Very sad.

My MIL, who had been raised to be quite religious, rejected it all eventually. But now I see as she approaches 90 that she is embracing non-rational thinking once again, talking about god and angels and "the spirit world." It makes me so sad to see her mind going.