The Apostasy Project: Introduction

[rug]

Alom Shaha explains why he thinks it is vital to provide support and resources to those who are questioning, or seeking to leave, their religion

By Alom Shaha , Monday, 13th May 2013

On Saturday 5 June 2010, I “came out” as an atheist with the publication of a piece called “No, I don’t believe in God” on the Guardian’s Comment is Free site. About two years later, my book, The Young Atheist’s Handbook , outlining in more detail my journey from being born into a Bangladeshi Muslim family to being an atheist, was published. One of my motivations for writing both the piece for the Guardian and the book was a desire to let “secret” atheists from similar backgrounds to my own know that they were not alone, that there were others who had had the same kind of upbringing and had arrived at the conclusion that there is no God and that the religion of their parents was not true.

Yes, there are secret atheists out there. This is something that some people might find hard to believe, but I used the term “coming out” earlier because, as many others have pointed out, there really are parallels to be drawn between the experiences of gay people and atheists, not least the reason why many people of both “orientations” feel compelled to keep the truth about themselves a secret – to avoid hurting and losing the people they love.

I’m one of the lucky ones: embracing atheism and humanism has not been a particularly difficult process for me. But since I started writing about my atheism in public, I’ve been contacted by many people for whom it’s not so easy. There is a common theme to many of these messages I’ve received, that of having to live a lie, as this email from a young woman shows:

“I am living a life full of lies. I lie to my parents and my siblings about my non-existent belief, I lie that I fast, that I pray and that I am trying to bring up my daughter with Islamic values. I am so tired and frustrated of having to hide this massive truth from my family and I just wish I had the courage to deal with it.”

http://rationalist.org.uk/articles/4121/the-apostasy-project-introduction

From the UK Rationalist Association. Videos at link.

[dimbear]

1. We have it easy here in civilization. We're not risking our lives by facing facts.

Hang on tight, 3rd worlders. Change is inevitable. Google is everywhere. We're with you in spirit.

[rug]

2. No kidding. In this case the word dire actually fits.

[Phillip McCleod]

3. thx rug. this is important work.

from what i can tell we agree on little more than politics and a curmudgeonly outlook, but i have to give you credit.. most of the thought-provoking and informative articles about atheists that i've read in 'religion' were posted by you. sure, you might go on to take issue with the opinions expressed in the article you posted in the subthreads.. but i appreciate that you a) post them at all, and b) generally post them without comment. kudos.

now, on to the topic..

i've know this sense of isolation and pending doom, here in the u.s. it's a psychological phenomenon, imo, that's really no different from any other type of cognitive dissonance. we all engage in it to an extent because we're a *rationalizing* species, not a *rational* one.

however, some of us have to engage in it to a greater extent than others, and the suffering we experience as a result of cognitive dissonance is real. just ask big pharma.

i think what makes social issues out of some groups' cognitive dissonance (CD), and not others, is the question of *choice*. the woman quoted in the article clearly feels as if the dissonance is being imposed on her by the expectations of others. this brings up an interesting aspect of CD.. the various.. quite creative.. ways that people attempt to resolve their own CD.

two basic approaches prevail: change one's thinking to align with 'reality', or change 'reality' to align with one's thinking. pondering on this aspect, it occurs to me that believers and nones may have different sources of dissonance.. that is, the 'reality' in question is not the same..

extreme examples of reality-changers.. believers: climate-change deniers who will go to any lengths to change the 'reality' of physics and biology. nonbelievers: bolshevik-ists who will go to any lengths to change the 'reality' of church dominance in the historical dialectic.

extreme examples of self-changers.. believers: 'church' apologists who ignore the 'reality' of religious privilege. nonbelievers: S.E. Cupp.

edit.. not sure who does more damage on that last example.

[rug]

4. I've found two things to be generally true.

One, being in a minority is rarely comfortable.

Two, speaking up is often easier said than done. (In some cases, as in this article, it can be deadly.)

When and how one chooses to speak up, let alone do something, depends on the circumstances and the person. Allying with like-minded people is a big incentive to do so. Still, eventually, we all have to speak up.

This Apostasy Project, and others like it, can be a life saver.

Anyway, thanks for the kind words.

[Phillip McCleod]

5. not really trying to be kind.. credit's due where it's due.

i think it's fair to say that this site is big and influential enough that it serves a similar purpose for those of us who frequent it.. all of the above i mean.. forging noncommittal alliances online is a key factor imo because it allows us to explore our individuality with more flexibility without as many of the usual real-world social consequences surrounding our differences of opinion.

[LiberalAndProud]

6. Thank you for this, Rug.