I’m an atheist and anti-consumerist, which makes Christmas pretty difficult

[cbayer]

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/dec/23/atheist-anti-consumerist-christmas

How do you formulate an anti-consumerist worldview that doesn’t involve becoming a killjoy?

Zoe Williams

theguardian.com, Tuesday 23 December 2014 11.22 GMT


'It isn’t my kids' spiritual wellbeing I’m worried about. It’s the volume of plastic tat I have to throw out every year, to make way for the next tranche of plastic tat.' Photograph: Paul Hackett/Reuters

Christmas is a face-off between people who are spiritual and people who are consumerist. The consumerists never call themselves that, they’re just really keen to let you know that they don’t believe in God. The spiritual ones never call themselves spiritual, they are just very anti-consumerist. It’s the dialectic method of identity building: I hate crackers and piped music, ergo I am deep; I hate superstition and unprovable things, ergo I am fun. It’s like a zero-sum game in which the shops helpfully give the spiritualists something to kick against, and the churches, especially with their midnight shenanigans, give the consumerists something to laugh at.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t leave you much room for manoeuvre if you are both anti-consumerist and an atheist. Pretty much everything you say will deliver you into the hands of the wrong ally. Up until now, I have always just succumbed to one side, in order to avoid getting crushed by the competing plates. Between about 1983 and 2013, assuming myself – on the final throw of the dice – to be more of an atheist than an anti-consumerist, I swallowed the shop-fest whole. I remember standing in Marks & Spencer buying a slipper bag for my uncle, crying with laughter at the scope of the needlessness. Who needs a bag to put their slippers in? It’s like having a special wallet for handkerchieves. Probably, if he’d lived a bit longer, I’d have bought him one of those too. None of this ever struck me as at all obscene; it was all at one remove from obscenity, like a cartoon of someone accidentally chopping off their arm.

But having kids has tipped me over the edge. It isn’t their spiritual wellbeing I’m worried about – they have grandparents for that. It’s the volume of plastic tat I have to throw out every year, to make way for the next tranche of plastic tat. It’s like an anxiety dream, this act: shovelling gigantic, brightly coloured items that have detained nobody for one second longer than the time it takes to render them incomplete or no longer working. They are almost new, and completely pointless. I don’t want to blight another household with them, but I can’t face putting them in the bin, so the whole lot from last year spent six months in a sort of staging post, some inconvenient place while I waited for some other person to throw them out for me. If they’re battery powered it’s 10 times worse, because the added complexity is like an accusation. They are all battery powered.

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[AndreaCG]

1. Live the motto peace on earth good will to all

Maybe volunteer at a soup kitchen Christmas Day

[cbayer]

8. Agree. It's not necessary to "succumb" to anything. There are lots of options.

[AtheistCrusader]

2. Then don't participate.

Grow a fucking spine and do your own thing. Plenty of humans, even in America, don't celebrate Christmas at all.

[trotsky]

4. No kidding.

Apparently she's turned it into a holiday she can enjoy by judging and condemning others.

[AtheistCrusader]

6. Well... When you put it like that...

It sounds a lot more interesting.

[trotsky]

12. Add in her last option - drinking - and I think we've got a holiday most can enjoy! n/t

[trotsky]

3. WTF?

Seems strange to try and make this into such a black-or-white issue. Either you're a "consumerist" or "spiritual"?

You yourself bristle at attempts to label you, so I don't understand why you would post something from a person so desperate to label others. Especially with labels that don't even have clear definitions. If I buy anything, am I a "consumerist"?

This really comes off as an attempt to judge everyone and for the author to put herself above others. I'm sure some may have their theories about why you would post such a piece.

[upaloopa]

5. Of you don't want to shop don't shop

If you don't want to go to church don't go
If you don't want to celebrate the holidays don't
Who is going to give a shit?

[cbayer]

9. She seems to be worried about her kids and about being a killjoy.

But she could easily teach her kids new traditions and do something really joyful in the process.

[upaloopa]

15. My wife and I won't go to church won't shop

Won't celebrate with others much.
But we most likely will take a long walk down a deserted beach on Christmas Day. Other than I posted that here nobody will know what we did.

[cbayer]

17. My christmases are pretty much the same.

Right now we are deciding whether to go to a gringo pot luck where toys will be distributed to the children in town, or just stay home and be quiet.

I'm leaning towards quiet at this point.

[NV Whino]

7. What a load of twat

Take the time to teach the children to give. Take the plastic tat and donate it to those who wouldn't have any and be overjoyed to have it. Volunteer at a food bank. Donate to a charity in the child's name, educating them along the way.

[trotsky]

14. That was what I was thinking too.

Volunteer. Donate. If you have to give a gift, give money in their name.

Buy a family a life-changing livestock animal in their name: http://www.heifer.org/ or https://www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com/

This is not that difficult!

[hollysmom]

10. I vol;unteeer to work for charity during the season - oh my back, ha ha

you do something good, it makes you feel good and if someone wants me to say happy holidays to them, no problem. One person told me to say Merry Christmas to them, everyone else was glad to see me no matter what I said.

[cbayer]

11. Congratulations for doing that.

Hope your back recovers soon!

[gwheezie]

13. My grandson asked for cash

I like that kid. Makes things simpler. He's 10. His mom asked for cash too. What I used to do and what she does for Xmas is go out to somewhere interesting. The day itself is eating and playing games and going for a walk. She gives my grandson gifts through the year so one day is not a big gift day. This year they are going to the museum of natural history as their Christmas celebration. That's where he wanted to go.

[cbayer]

16. I like that they are establishing positive traditions.

I stopped giving gifts at all when my kids were no longer kids. I had given money to charities and let them know that, but I even stopped letting them know.

Now, when the grandkids come along, things might change a great deal, but I hope to never get back to that intense consumerism.

I hope your family has a wonderful holiday.

[gwheezie]

18. Same to you

Their tradition at thanksgiving is they participate in a food drive so she wanted to do something more fun around Christmas. My daughter started volunteering when she was a kid and kept the tradition going. My grandson does several events through the year. It's normal for him. Don't get me wrong the kid is a consumer but they don't make a holiday out of it. Last year he wanted to go camping for Christmas. My daughter and her husband tried to talk him out of camping in Pennsylvania in the winter. They froze but he had fun.

[cbayer]

19. Big no to winter camping in Pennsylvania.

:brr:

I am glad to have left all the consumerism behind but I think it's great that people mark the day in a whole new way.

[Itchinjim]

20. I'm cheap too.

I never thought of calling it "Anti-consumerist" though.

[cbayer]

22. Good one. My cheapness and anti-consumerism get along splendidly.

[oldandhappy]

21. hmmmmm

*you and your kids can volunteer at a soup kitchen
*depending upon the climate where you live, you and your kids could shovel snow or rake leaves or clean out gutters for elderly neighbors
*do a family gift to Heifer Project or similar group
*establish a family tradition of giving books to each other
*tell your family only one plastic item per person
*go camping or skiing
*give each person a piece of lumber that all together forms a gardening area with a promise to have a planting day in the Spring

There are so many ways to celebrate life together. I know it is hard when the whole culture is pressing loudly for you to buy buy buy. And yes it is harder with kids. AND I encourage you to be honest about your desire to eliminate the plastic and to reduce the buying and to positively approach your life style. Encourage them to select one consumer item and to join you in something you choose that the family can do together. Kids want time with you. They need something physical. Usually they like tradition.

I take Christmas as a personal retreat day and read and meditate and listen to music and cook a meal and do quiet things. One household in my family has a family cooking day where everyone cooks something for a family meal. Two households have cancelled cable which cuts down on the longing for plastic. One household stresses creative time i.e. each person reports on one hour of creative endeavor. Yep. Tell the culture to take a flying leap and set up your own traditions! And let us know. The rest of us have these struggles also.

[cbayer]

23. Great post. I think there may be more and more people like you and your family.

At least I hope so.

There are lots of other options if you don't embrace the religion or the consumerism and they can all be made a part of the season.