Just got some bad news concerning my sister's prognosis

[Siwsan]

She's on her 3rd round of breast cancer and it metsed to her lungs, which was controlled by chemo. Then it went to the nerve sheath in her spinal column, which is slowly robbing her of her mobility. They told her today there isn't much else they can do for her but try a little more radiation to give her some relief, and continue the chemo. There are no cancer cells in her spinal fluid, but there is protein showing up, which is the big concern. They told her that they thought these treatments would have made a bigger difference by now. I told her that everyone reacts and heals in their own time so not to give up hope because I'm sure as hell not going to.

She is getting physical therapy, 3 times a week, and her therapist is a total ray of positive energy. He is encouraging her to focus on beating this because it doesn't belong in her body so she needs to force it out. I am keeping a positive attitude while I'm on the phone with her, but afterwards I pretty much collapse.

This is my only sister and absolutely the best friend I've ever had. She's raised 3 amazing kids and her husband is one of the best men I've ever known. I know I have to keep myself strong for her, the kids and her husband. Having already lost a brother and my father, I'm pretty much edging towards dispair, right now.

Thanks for letting me unload.

[Tikki]

1. Strong healing vibes to your sister...

and to you all in her family.



Tikki

[Siwsan]

2. Thank you. This is so incredibly painful

But I'm going to stay strong for Chris. She's an amazing woman who deserves so much better than this.

[Tab]

3. Hold on, thoughts are with you (and your sister)

Hang on with hope, you can support her and we can support you.

[Irishonly]

4. Candle will be lit for your sister

The two of you will be in my thoughts. Keep fighting and unload here as often as you need to. We have big shoulders to lean on and we will celebrate the smallest of victories with you. Make sure you take care of yourself too. It sounds like you are her rock.

[Siwsan]

7. Thanks so much

I have an 85 year old mother, with oncoming dementia, and a 95 year old widowed, childless aunt who has ended up in my care, too. I'm working a full time job, and had to move into my Aunts's house, and take over full responsibility for it, which is a bit of a financial drain. It's been a rough go, that's for sure. I ended up having to move my brother back from California, to help. He had lost his job so there was no excuse for him not to come back here to pitch in.

[jumptheshadow]

5. Wishing you the best

We are in similar situations. I finally got a counselor because I feel my reserve strength and adrenalin are running low. I'm also doing visualizations. In this case, I envision myself hiking the Appalachian Trail, step-by-step -- and going through some of its excruciating challenges as well as its sweet moments.

[Siwsan]

6. I'm planning on finally taking advantage of my counseling benefits

I've been dealing with a family trauma of one kind or another, since my father died in 1999 and haven't taken a vacation since 2004. I realize I can't continue to draw on my diminishing strength and energy reserve. The anxiety attacks are coming with an increasing frequency and now I've developed a form of chondritis that is stress triggered. That is very frightening since it feels like a heart attack so I just hope that a quick injestion of an anti-inflamatory stops the pain so that I know it's just the chondritis.

My niece and nephew are urging me to take a break and visit them in Asheville, this summer, so that's my focus. My sister was able to join us for Thanksgiving dinner, and I just talked to my nephew (he's visiting from NC) and she was at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. We can only hope and pray that the radiation and spinal chemo will give her some relief, and some of her mobility back.

I keep visualizing the time I climed the Great Orme, in Northern Wales. Spectacular view of the ocean, in one direction, and my ancestral home, which is my favorite place in the world, in the other. It's where I've instructed my family to take my ashes, when the time comes.

[jumptheshadow]

8. You do need the vacation

That has been one of my issues, too. I have had a very demanding cycle at work that has kept me from taking time off.

We are taking some time next month to get away on a boat and chill. Neither of us plan to think one serious thought during our vacation. My hope is that we both come back refreshed and fortified.

A break in the mountains sounds wonderful. I wish it could come earlier for you.

[Siwsan]

9. Everything kind of depends on my sister's condition

I've practically helped raise her 3 kids, and even though they are all grown, now, I still feel a big obligation to be there for them and for my brother in law, who is one of my dearest friends.

I would love a late spring trip to Asheville because my niece wants me to help her plan and plant her very first vegetable garden.

[jumptheshadow]

10. Asheville for spring sounds beautiful

Planting spring vegetables and teaching your niece about gardening -- that's perfect.

[Irishonly]

11. I hope you can get to Ashville

Your plans sound wonderful. It seems as if you have been there for your niece always. A vegetable garden sounds healing for everyone.

[Irishonly]

12. I am so excited for you.

I hope the same for you. I wish you healing and peace always.