GYN exams in older women. Can we please have a discussion?

[CTyankee]

I want to know what is being done to help older women who have gyn problems get an exam that does not give them great discomfort. I never see this discussed. Why is that?

[southernyankeebelle]

1. Am older and I just had one a couple of months ago. I hate going I always get emotional and

embrassed. I have only been touched by my husband. What are your feeling on the subject.

[pnwmom]

2. Did you ever give birth to children?

My first pregnancy and labor was the end of any modesty for me.

[CTyankee]

5. For me it is not modesty, it is about hurting me.

Let's be clear.

I have had 3 kids. Labor and delivery no problem, I was in my 20s.

This is different.

[southernyankeebelle]

6. LOL, yes. Funny thing, I was 29 yrs old and never experienced any type of sex. I

met a wonder man who was younger than I. He was so very respectful and never tried anything funny. We didn't even know each other very long. But I think once you hit 29 you kinda realize no one is perfect. But somehow god put us together. We only knew each other 2 months and the 4th month we got married. (Well am getting off track Sorry). Well before we got married I set up a GYN appointment with this doctor. I heard from my friend he was really really old but really nice. He had his practice in his home. His daughter was his nurse. So when I got there the room was filled with men. I thought I was in the wrong place at first. But then his daughter came and got me and I told her I was still a virgin and was scared to death. Well she put me at ease. When he came in the room he examined me and he didn't hurt me. Then I told him I was getting married in 2 months and needed to find out about birth control because I sure didn't want kids. He gave me some and off I went after he took me through a tour of a lovely home. The was one of the best experiences I ever had. I am sure he is dead by now. Well after a year I wasn't doing well with birth control pills. So I went off. I got pregnant immediately. Dang it. Well I have to tell you being pregnant for me was the worse experience I ever had. I was terrible sick the whole time only gaining 3 pounds the last month. I never heard of anyone losing weight every month. I couldn't keep anything down so I was throwing up and crapping at the same time. It was draining. When he was born he was 8 pounds. Believe me when I tell you he was the smallest baby born that day. After that I wanted no more children. The doctor told me not to have any more either. But you got these damn moral doctors out there who want to think for you. Finally my husband said I went through enough and he would have the vasectomy. However the doctor wouldn't do it. He was a military doctor. He referred us to a family practice doctor and he did it for us. I never looked back.

I also remember having an exam while still be a virgin. My neighbor recommend this doctor. He was a foreign doctor. I think from the middle east. Man when I was in his office he didn't even have a nurse in there with us. It hurt me terribly and my sister said she could hear me out in the lobby. I left that room in tears. I told the secretary I would never come to him again. I never did. I also told my neighbor never to recommend him to a virgin again.

Well I think I gave you a lot of information. Maybe to much. Hope it was helpful.

[pnwmom]

8. I think your horrible experience in the beginning probably had long lasting effects.

I'm sorry you had to go through that!

I've been lucky enough to have only had gentle gynecologists, so I don't tense up when I go -- which would make things worse.

[southernyankeebelle]

12. I wish I wouldn't get that way either. I even had a nurse practioner do it and got

more emotional with her. I think that experience with that foreign doctor did it to me. Even at the age of 64. I have had surgeries. I just don't like that experience.

[CTyankee]

4. well, I have had other "intrusive" exams, tests, procedures, etc. and I am physically hurt

by them. I have had drs offices tell me LIES about how painful a procedure will be. I have endured supposedly "painless" procedures. I am now facing another incident in my life due to a recurence of UTI's that aren"t UTIs. I want some more information about all of this...

[southernyankeebelle]

9. You know if the doctor hurts you then find another one. When I go to a new one

I usually ask the clerk if this guy is a good doctor. They know for sure. Also when you go into the room and your with the nurse let her know that you hurt when your being examed. She will inform the doctor. Don't be afraid to tell the doctor before he starts how you feel and if your hurting speak up and don't be afraid. It is your money. Tell the doctor. When it comes to a doctor have to touch me especially down there I sure let him know ahead a time that am scared and embrassed being there. They usually will try extra not to hurt you. I even have the nurse hold my hand if am uncomfortable. Sometimes I get teary eyed. I can't help it. If I could go in there with a bag over my head I would.

Yes I ended up with a C-Section.

[CTyankee]

14. I am not embarrassed as much as I am scared I'll be hurt. I've had so much pain and

discomfort from other intrusive tests (and had drs. offices LIE about them), I am scared silly.

I have already talked to my dr. on the phone about my discomfort with gyn or other intrusive exams. I have been lied to by drs. staffs about barium enemas (just horrible, they said they didn't have "any complaints&quot , colonoscopies (as a diagnostic when I had a SEVERE case of diverticulosis), and all those "painless" pap tests (bullshit).

[pnwmom]

11. My UTI's that weren't UTI's

turned out to be diverticulitis. That's why antibiotics were helping, but not curing -- I needed to be on a longer course of meds.

[southernyankeebelle]

13. I have a touch of that.

[CTyankee]

17. I am told it is atrophic vaginitis. So I can be treated with estrogen cream.

Sounds good. This constant feeling of tightness in the bladder ain't good. So fine. It is worth it. But still, I want to make a stand here about older women and these exams, and not just these but lots of others. Attention must be paid. You have to make a fuss and say "don't hurt. Just cure."

[southernyankeebelle]

20. Your right and if he is hurting you remind him over and over. I am sure you'll be ok and

get your problem worked out.

[LiberalLoner]

3. Neither here nor there but I had a hysterectomy/oopherectomy last year

And now my doc says, no more pap smears for me since I don't have anything that could ever get cancer down there. I was awfully happy thinking about, not only no more painful periods, also no more pap smears! I never did like those exams. I don't think anyone really does.

[CTyankee]

7. Why have we been told the pap smears are "painless"?

[southernyankeebelle]

10. Pap smears seem to hurt me also. Even long after. What I do notice if I try to

relax by breathing it doesn't hurt to bad.

[CTyankee]

15. You know what, I am OK with being just me about this!

What is wrong with just being who you are with this kind of experience? Why not just say, OK, I'm a wimp about this pain so I'm going to talk about it and just be ME. Too bad what you think.

[southernyankeebelle]

18. Hell yes, I am with you. Am just like you are. Everyone experiences pain differently.

I always find having a pap smear very very uncomfortable. Always. But I am ok with it. You know what CTYank the doctor is also happy that I tell them. Because then they make the effort to be gentle. But it still hurts. You have nothing to be a wimp about. Nothing. Anyone tells you that then you are a fool to believe them. When you leave that office I bet you feel relief. I know I do because it is over with for now.

[virgdem]

16. The first thing you need to do...

is to find a doctor that you feel very comfortable with. Personally, I prefer a female OB/Gyn, as a woman understands not only the clinical aspect of the patient, but the emotional aspect as well. Once you find someone that you feel totally comfortable with and that you can discuss a wide range of issues with, that will increase your comfort level with the experience.

[CTyankee]

19. That's not so easy. I have had drs I have "felt at ease with" that, push comes to shove, don't.

So I am wary. Your first experience with a new doc you make an appt. and you're in the exam room and wham there you are, no way out. You go away feeling kinda bad but how else could you have known what you were going to get?

I mean, really? You can't know, til you know, right?

[asjr]

21. I had to go this week for an examination

concerning bladder and rectum and it was the first time in about 10 years. It was very painful and I almost cried. My arthritis bothered me and it was also painful climbing on that exam table. First I was not far enough down on it and then I was too far back. When it was over the doctor and the nurse left the room and I was trying my best to get off of the table while holding on to my oxygen tank. I remember my grandmother telling me (she gave birth to 7 boys) when she had to go to the doctor all he had to do was look at her bottom and know it was her lying there. I don't think I will go back.

[CTyankee]

22. I'm going to call my dr. in the a.m. and ask for a prescription for a tranquilizer for me to

take prior to the visit. It's kind of tough to go thru the exam at my age and with my symptoms being so uncomfortable right now. In fact, I asked the opinion of my next door neighbor who is a family medicine doc and she said she wouldn't even do the exam. She'd just give me the prescription for the cream and see if that worked.

[gkhouston]

23. I'd be tempted to take the family medicine doc up on her offer. You can always go to the ob/gyn

later, after you've been taking the cream for a while and some of the dryness/lack of elasticity has improved. Me, it's not the Pap smear that I mind so much as the doctor palpating my ovaries. I'm usually still sore the next day.

[LeftishBrit]

24. It's not only older women who can find some exams painful

For some conditions, it's possible to do a pelvic ultrasound externally without inserting a speculum - I have fibroids, and they've managed to do my exams in that way so far. I don't think one could do a pap smear, for example, externally however.

[CTyankee]

25. It seems so impossible. Everywhere you turn there is another invasive test or exam or

procedure. I had to endure a painful colonoscopy, A barium enema test and an endometrial biopsy and I had NO IDEA what to expect. It was horrible. I was totally disillusionsed.

Never again, for me. If you want to test me, you better be prepared to sedate me...

[Tumbulu]

26. I know....,my goodness, I just refuse to take these tests

when I came back from Africa in the early 80's they did the most outrageously painful tests without anesthesia in my intestinal system...I will never allow anymore of these exams, or anything close to them.

It is as though the medical community is so used to toughing it that they have no understanding of how it feels to be probed and stuck etc.

[CTyankee]

27. I had complications from elective surgery to prevent diverticulitis in 2007.

It had been recommended by my gastroenterologist as a preventive measure, since I had had a very severe case of diverticulitis in 2006 and I feared an emergency situation if I didn't have it done. A week after the surgery I started throwing up after eating or drinking anything. I had an adhesion blocking my colon. Then infection set in and I had another surgery to clear that up. I had to have a temporary colostomy and was laid up for months, finally getting the colostomy reversed 5 months later. A very bad experience. Six weeks in the hospital. Then intensive rehab.

It sounds like you went through the wars yourself. I know I don't feel sorry for myself because there are people out there suffering and dying from all kinds of horrible diseases. Your experience sounds not only painful but scary as well. I hope you are OK now.

I am so with you on how so much of the medical community just doesn't "get" it. I used to give myself pep talks or put myself down as a "big baby." But no longer. I am a loud complainer if I feel I have had to suffer needlessly. What is the big deal? I am told that women in Mexico routinely have sedation for endometrial biopsies, yet here GYN's don't even warn you in advance so you can make arrangements to have a sedative. No, you just all of a sudden feel excruciating pain while you lie there helplessly. It's an awful feeling. They might as well be testing a meat carcass...