I am Cisgender

[La Lioness Priyanka]

which means by gender assigned at birth (Female) matches my gender identity (feminine). This gives me societal privilege over those who are not cisgender (transgendered)

No one uses the wrong pronoun, questions if i am using the correct bathroom, airports are not a problem for me, dating in many ways does not involve awkward conversation about my gender and no one asks me how much i have transitioned (did you get bottom or top surgery doesn't come up around me). IF i wanted to join the women's festivals/sports/whatever my inclusion would not be questioned.

Even amongst us it's important to remember who has privilege in some situations and in some ways. It is important to be an ally to those less privileged than me in my community.

[roguevalley]

1. that is awesome that it worked out for you. It is so damned sad when it

doesn't. All of us are linked in love and humanity. I don't understand living any other way. I will never understand harming people about shit that doesn't matter.

[unblock]

2. i often find it baffling why society cares SO MUCH about gender.

honestly, life is so rich and full and varied, and gender has an actual, meaningful bearing on such a very narrow part of it.

and yet, the moment a baby is born, everyone just HAS to know how to categorize its genetalia.

a cousin of mine very recently had a baby. the parents very deliberately omitted the baby's gender from the birth announcement.

amusingly enough, the picture also had the father lying shirtless in the hospital bed holding the baby, with the mother, fully clothed, standing at the side of the bed, leaning in....


english has stolen much from other languages, but has yet to steal a third person singular pronoun to refer to a gender-unknown person. either you use "it", which gets renders the person inanimate, "they", which renders the person plural, or "he" or "she", which assigns a gender, like it or not.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. i agree. i think we like to categorize to keep life simple

its just sometimes those categories taken on more than they were created for

[MNBrewer]

5. Isn't it more than that though? To keep life simple?

In my experience it's a MANDATED way of being and transgressions are not to be tolerated. That's changing somewhat, but still holds a powerful sway over our culture. There are boy musical instruments and girl musical instruments. Boy toys and girl toys. Boy colors and girl colors. What boys want to be when they grow up and what girls want to be when they grow up, etc.

The whole resistance to the concept that people can identify with, or as, or BE, a gender different from what their sex organs imply is testament to that.

As in "It's ok for a FAAB to declare as a lesbian, but not a MTF"....(sigh)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. thats what i mean. we categorize initially to keep things simple. then these categories

taken on much more power than were the intention. transgressions against the category are not viewed as REAL transgressions. i mean men and women and women have different genitalia at birth if they are cisgender, so its an easy category to put babies into. however, over times these categories become much more than just genitalia...

[redqueen]

12. +1

It is stunning how rigidly these constructs are adhered to. I find it fascinating how defensive people get when you threaten even the idea of it.

I also think it's well worth doing away with, ASAP. It seems to serve no real purpose and it is causing a lot of pain for a lot of people.

And bravo to your cousin, I love those kinds of actions.

[Vanje]

4. K&R.....from another Cisendered member

[qb]

7. K&R I am still frustrated by people who confuse sexual orientation with gender identity.

I have heard, "Why does he want to be a women when he can just be gay?"
and "Why did she become a woman if she's attracted to women?"

Have they seriously read none of the countless articles out there about people's life-long struggles with gender identity?

Two things that I like to remind people of:
1. Gender identity and sexual orientation are not correlated. Trans people can be gay, straight or bi, just like everyone else.
2. Rule of Thumb: When people say something this personal about themselves, take them at their word. Don't argue or ask stupid questions.

[MNBrewer]

8. Sexual preference is what you like to do in bed

sexual orientation is with whom you like to do it.

I think you mean sexual orientation.

[qb]

9. Thank you - I stand corrected (and so does my post!)

[obamanut2012]

11. +1

[tammywammy]

15. Good post.

[Evasporque]

19. here is the kicker on that...

You can be gay pre-transition...then transition and still be gay....going from a preference of same sex attraction as M2M to F2F....

anything is possible....life is fluid, human sexuality and gender are as well....

[obamanut2012]

10. I am cisgender

[justiceischeap]

13. I am woman, hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. :)

[xfundy]

16. I am also cisgender

And very happily queer as a football bat.

There was controversy surrounding the inclusion of the "T" in LGBT. I'm glad "we" made the right choice.

Everyone is a person, a taxpaying citizen, and everyone is entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

[susanr516]

17. That's a very thoughtful op

Thank you for your insight. I hate to admit it, but I was one of those people who didn't realize that transgendered people are just as likely to be gay/bi/lesbian as cisgender folks. I've learned a lot reading and listening to those who post in this group.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. :)

thanks