Forget the politics. This the important stuff.

[oldironside]

How to eat a full English breakfast

It's a dish with a thousand variables. How do you eat yours?




http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2012/apr/11/how-to-eat-full-english-breakfast

For me? Fried egg with runny yoke on fried slice of Hovis, any sort of bacon as long as it's well cooked through, decent spicy sausages from the butcher, tinned tomatoes (fresh just don't go!), portion of Heinz baked beans that have been simmered for far too long, fried button mushrooms, black pudding (good firm stuff, not the semi-runny variety the Germans seem to go for), HP Fruity sauce, several more slices of bread and butter, and a mug of builder's tea from a chipped West Ham United mug. That just about sets me up for the day.

[intaglio]

1. Wimps

2 slices of black pudding? should be 4 slices of a decent size BP or, better, hogs pudding. Bacon is pretty close but a bare handful of mushroom slices? No fried slice (of bread)? Chipolatas??? Uncooked tomatoes??? A single spoonful of beans? Eggs that do not "stand up" (are too old in other words)?

And all fitting on a normal dinner plate ...

Namby-pamby Guardian readers ...

Edited to add my (Cumbrian) sigoth thinks that one fried egg and a good helping of scrambled eggs should be there and the BP should be a slab, not slices of a sausage wannabe.

[oldironside]

2. The Grauniad's pic is a bit on the anemic side.

That's why I nicked the picture above from a hotel's website.

Mushrooms should be whole, sausages must be full sized (Cumberland?) and when it comes to black pudding, more is more.

As for the uncooked toms, that's almost as big a crime against Englishness as the writer's suggestion that you put ketchup on it.

Scrambled eggs just don't fit. They remind me of childhood holiday camps and continental hotels.

[dipsydoodle]

3. Plate is too small

I've got plates which are 32cms / 12 1/2" wide racked up over the obligatory Butlers sink in my little kichen. You get a whole lot more on those without stuff falling off the side.

[oldironside]

4. When I was a student...

... I had a driving job in the West Midlands and we used to visit a greasy spoon every morning after leaving the yard.

This particular establishment (called The Greedy Pig, but I'm buggered if I can remember exactly where it was) did five sizes of breakfast ranging from tea plate sized (half a sausage, one egg, one small slice of black pudding, one slice of fried bread, half a tomato and a tea spoon of baked beans) right up to something served on a plate usually used for bringing a family sized turkey to the dinner table. Basically three full sized breakfasts and a row of pork chops, accompanied by half a loaf of bread.

I never tried it, but it probably explained why the HGV drivers you met who were over forty were also round.

[DCKit]

5. Breakfast today:

Scrambled eggs with chard and onions over beans and rice, topped with Salvadorean sour cream, small serving of leftover beef stew on the side, home-made pickled veggies (hot peppers, onions and carrots) and two thick slices of home-made, whole wheat toast.

When the S.O. cooks, it's far more elaborate. I'm an amateur.

[truebrit71]

6. Baked beans do NOT belong on a FEB, neither do "hash browns"...

Fried Egg (2 min) Danish Bacon (2 min) Bangers (2 min) Black Pud (as much as you can fit on the plate) Tomato (One - broiled and cut in half) Mushrooms (Button - fried whole) Fried bread (1 slice) Pot of tea (preferably PG Tips)

Condiments - White pepper, salt (if you must), ketchup.

I add homemade Staffordshire Oatcakes to help sop up the egg yolk on occasion.

Shit...now I'm hungry...

[oldironside]

7. Ketchup on a full English breakfast!?!?!

You'll be putting it on roast beef next!

I agree about the "hash browns" though. That's damned colonial food.

[truebrit71]

8. I have to admit that I prefer it to the HP fruity stuff...

..and regular HP overpowers everything except for the bangers and the BP....

Shit...I'm STILL hungry...

[oldironside]

9. I think the problem with ketchup is...

... that you've already got tomatoes, plus beans in tomato sauce on the plate. Why add a third form of tomato. Not even the Italians would have three different forms of tomato in the same dish. Actually, I need to check through a couple of recipe books to confirm that statement.

Oh, of course, ketchup doesn't go well with the grease of a good fry up. It needs a bit of vinegar. Hence the HP. Perfectly complements a good banger, black pudding, the yoke of a fried egg, fried bread, the divine mix of fried bread, egg yoke and well stewed tinned tomato all on one fork...

Shit. I'm hungry too now.

[fedsron2us]

10. It is not a proper fry up unless it has been cooked

an unshaven bloke in a string vest spilling ash into it from the ciggy permanently stuck in his gob. None of those characters left now even in the greasiest spoon cafe.

BTW the FEB is a bit skinny when compared to the awesome Ulster Fry which really is a cardiac arrest on a plate. I alway find breakfasts to be an intimidating experience whenever I go to Ireland

[Rosa Luxemburg]

11. Ah... black pudding!