One of the best Corbett Satires.... Ever (His Brilliant Re-Election Strategy Uncovered)

[JPZenger]

http://newslanc.com/2013/06/05/roadmap-for-reelection-satire/

This is from an anonymous person who claims to have dug Corbett's re-election strategy memo out of the trash. Excerpts:

“Problem #1 – How to solve the ‘Joe Paterno under the bus’ / Penn State problem:
Solution: Go to State College and meet with Penn State Trustees. At a news conference we’ll reinstall the statue of Joe Paterno in front of Beaver Stadium and lay a wreath at its foot, while denouncing the NCAA and the other parties responsible for this.

Problem #2 – How to deal with the “women and Latino” problem

Solution: Name a Latino to something important, preferably not yard work, food service, or watching contributor’s kids. Ask someone in the legislative caucus if they know anyone.

Problem #5 – Liquor, Lottery, Turnpike privatization, and pension reform

Solution: Announce the pensions of all state workers will be tied to a turnpike bond issue that backs a special state lottery to finance liquor store privatization. What could be simpler?

Problem #6 – Become likeable.

Solution: Quit sneering and jabbing finger at reporters at news conferences. Learn more lines of distraction. “How about those Phils?”

[malthaussen]

1. Of course it's satire...

... his real strategy is "Fuck 'em all and cook the books."

-- Mal