A friend of mine died last year.

[Tobin S.]

Last edited Mon Jan 2, 2017, 10:50 AM - Edit history (1)

Chris died on August 5th at 42 years old. He had been addicted to various substances for about half of his life. He had overdosed twice on heroin in the two months leading up to his death. When he died, heroin paraphernalia was found in his room. He had had what his mother described as a mild heart attack a few days before his death. He went against medical advice and went home instead of recovering in the hospital. She hasn't told me the official results of the autopsy, but my guess is that it was probably a drug induced heart attack that got him. He was found dead in his room by his mother.

I moved fifty miles away from my hometown six years ago when I met my sweetie Jen. In a sense I was starting life anew. I was leaving a lot of baggage behind with that move. I stayed in touch with everyone though, including Chris. We had known each other since he was 13 and I was 14. We had a lot of history...my relationship to which can never be recovered now.

I rolled into that little burg yesterday to celebrate the New Year with relatives. As I was coming into town I was driving along side a bike path that Chris and I had walked many times. I started to feel the weight of sorrow hang on my heart. Chris was stuck at about 20 years old in his mental and emotional development- right around the time he discovered cocaine. When we got together later in life he was always talking about the old times, "Man, do you remember when you did that? Do you remember when we did this?" It was like nothing special had happened to him in the last two decades and he was stuck with reliving the past when life was still cool. Or maybe when he still felt alive without some substance raging through his veins.

It was tiresome for me to listen to Chris reminisce about the old days. I was always thinking, "Jesus, man, why don't you get a job and move out? Why don't you start making some new memories? Why don't you start living on purpose?" But I would just smile and say, "Yeah, man, I remember."

As I was driving into town yesterday I found myself wishing that I could once again hear Chris talk about the old days. I miss you buddy.

[Hoyt]

1. Haven't done it in years, but used to hate going back where I went to High School. It just felt

empty and seemed so dark and gray. High School was not my favorite time. As my High School "friends" reminded me with their pro-Trump posts on Facebook recently, glad I moved on.

Sorry about your friend Chris, but that's a really nice tribute and post. Life is too tough for a lot of people.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. I am sorry for your loss, my dear Tobin...

It hurts a lot, I know.

[FrankfurtCat]

4. So sorry for the loss of your friend-

-and for his being stuck and unable to move forward
Your reflections are touching and insightful.
RIP Chris

[hunter]

5. My home town grinds up people like your friend Chris, I've lost a few...

... and it twists the so-called successful people who stay in unpleasant ways. They live in an insulated bubble of affluence, in some ways frozen in their twenties like your friend Chris.

My family has all left, my parents so far away that I've never been to their house in the rain forest.

I have no reason to go back to my hometown. The smartest thing I ever did was leave.

Thank you so much for your writing here, Tobin. You are a sane voice in a world gone mad.