Dealing with a Mooch at Work.

[smirkymonkey]

We have this person in our office that is constantly mooching food, drink (mostly tea and mineral water) off of all of us. It's not a once in a a while thing, it's every single day. People have tried to drop hints jokingly trying to say, hey "x" you owe me a bag of "x" or a box of "x". But she just keeps telling everyone how "poor" she is.

Meanwhile, everyone knows she has a good job and makes a good salary and lives in a very expensive house in a very expensive Boston suburb. She goes away with her family almost every single weekend and always posts photos on Facebook of herself, her family and her friends out partying, at restaurants and traveling, yet she comes into the office and cleans the rest of us out without ever contributing a thing. She has already cleaned me out of a few boxes of rather expensive tea and has wiped other people out of their snacks and drinks as well.

She is very bright but acts like a ditz, so we have given her the benefit of the doubt so far but we are all getting really sick of it. How do you deal with a person like this without being mean? Sometimes I just want to tell her to buy her own effing stuff, but I don't want to be a jerk. We all feel the same way but don't know how to confront her. Any suggestions?

[rug]

1. .

[smirkymonkey]

4. Brilliant! Very simple and too the point!

Why is it so hard to do? I so want to say that, but I am so afraid of hurting her feelings even thought I know she is walking all over us. We do say things to her in a joking way and she says "You guys are so mean". She seems to think that people owe her. I can't be sure if she is just clueless or if she is just manipulative.

[csziggy]

2. My husband got so he'd only take a peanut butter sandwich and a Mountain Dew

So people wouldn't take his lunch. No one wanted his sandwiches or his diet Mountain Dew - which is why he selected those. He also got so he never left anything in the work fridge but had his own little cooler with a cold pack to keep his drink chilled. That way his stuff was not out for other people to take.

I'd only take as much as I needed each day, clearly mark my stuff, and if it disappeared, make a point that I only had enough for that one day and needed to be repaid immediately. I would NOT take in boxes of stuff that could be construed as available to everyone. I'd also be reluctant to keep my daily ration of things in the break room, but keep it at my work station.

If everyone in the office does that, maybe it would sink into the moocher that her thefts are not appreciated. At the very least she'd have to start bringing in her own supplies!

[smirkymonkey]

3. Thank you!

A lot of us keep stuff on our desks. She just goes and helps herself. Sometimes she asks if we are there, but then we notice that our supplies are depleted. I think we have to do a better job at hiding our stuff and locking it up. It's too bad. I would like to think that I am generous, but some people just take it too far.

[Donkees]

5. As long as your co-workers continue to coddle her, she'll continue to use you as doormats. Being

assertive and standing up for yourselves isn't being mean or being a jerk.

[smirkymonkey]

6. You are right.

We just need to set boundaries or she will continue to take advantage. Im not so sure why I'm so concerned about the feelings about someone who obviously doesn't give a shit about mine.

[Donkees]

7. Exactly! :)

[True Dough]

8. Hmmm

Does this individual hold any position of authority over the rest of you? Does she have seniority? That may shift the balance of power and make it harder to confront her.

Outside of that, I would encourage you to discuss it with your co-workers and then find an appropriate time to raise the issue collectively at a meeting, formally or informally (but not in front of her superiors). I wouldn't convene a meeting about that situation alone, but if there's an occasion when the group of you are gathered, even during a lunch hour, and there's an opportunity to bring up her mooching, then if three or four of you make it clear that her behavior is annoying, she'll have to get the point. It doesn't have to be over-the-top condemnation, but it can't be treated too lightly either.

Good luck. If that doesn't work there's always arsenic!

Just kidding!

[BlueSpot]

9. The word you're looking for...

Is No. You don't need to explain anything. You just say no.

She's going to play the same game as long as it works. Why wouldn't she if you're all going to let her? Quit enabling her - and get your co-workers to quit it too.

[Iggo]

15. "Nope. Mine."

Easy.

[Avalux]

10. It's simple. Tell her no.

You don't have to be mean, just tell her no.

[Skittles]

11. email her with subject line PONY UP YOU CHEAP BASTARD

that's how I get my coffee club stuff; yes INDEED

[retrowire]

12. lmao nt

[hibbing]

13. Good suggestions all

I had someone at work who would always buy boxes of plastic silverware and put them in the community cupboard. She kept complaining that she keeps buying stuff, people keep taking it, but no one else ever buys silverware to bring. Well, then stop buying the stuff, I never said that to her because I really didn't care, I have real silverware I keep in my office. You would think after a certain point she would learn.

Good luck with this issue.

Peace

[Phentex]

14. I'd give one warning and then act as a group...

report her for stealing.

Say: "Look, I'm not sure why you do this, but we are tired of you taking our stuff and not replacing it. It's stealing. If you keep it up, we will report you. You may see it as harmless but it's really rude and we aren't going to stand for it any longer. Now, we could take the approach of mixing in ex-lax or salt and making you really sick but we don't want to do that. Buy stuff for yourself and leave ours alone. Got it?"

WHY do you care that you will come across as a jerk to someone who IS being a jerk?

[JonLP24]

16. You can say no

It's not mean to say no but saying yes then later being passive aggressive about it later is.

[OriginalGeek]

17. we have a department fridge

well, a mini fridge, that the bosses keep stocked with water, soda and juice. It's actually a very nice perk and they pay for it out of their own pockets. (large IT department with several managers and directors for various projects). All they ask is to keep the fridge full. It won't hold all the cases they bring in so if you take out a water, grab one from the case and put it in the fridge so next guy gets cold water.

It really is good for morale as we see the bosses as contributing something other than yelling when shit didn't get done lol.

They also keep a stock of plastic-ware and paper plates and napkins for the occasional cakes and pies and other food they bring in. And we usually get donuts once or twice a week.

Maybe we don't have much of a mooch problem because there's so much free stuff the mooches are already taken care of. But I know there a few people that have their own specialty teas and drinks and snacks they keep at their desks and will gladly lend out a bag or snack or two but they know that the people that borrow food and drink always pay it back. One lady always has a candy bowl full of mini snickers and milky-ways - she brings in her own bags of candy and makes it clear it's for everyone but we all pitch in on occasion and replenish her supply.

The funny thing, though, is the guy that hits the candy bowl the hardest and never contributes back is the biggest Trump supporter around. It's kind of a joke among the rest of us. We chalk that up to entertainment and don't get too mad (at least not very often) about it.

[hibbing]

19. That's funny about the candy man n/t

[eppur_se_muova]

18. There's always this approach ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=115&topic_id=80153&mesg_id=80270

[3catwoman3]

20. Even though I love squirrels, I am...

...laughing so hard I am crying.