If I ever want to complain about anything personal again, remind me of my old friend
We had some friends over for lunch yesterday. They used to live in our town, but moved to Wiesbaden when he joined the BKA (German version of the FBI), and he was later transferred to their Berlin office for Secret Service-style security work. He retired and now works in the private sector.
His wife was a high-powered woman who contended with two very difficult sons. The first one was adopted, grew up to think he was gay, later figured out he was Transgender, got the operations, got married, is already divorced, used to beat his adoptive mother unmercifully during arguments, and even now, they won't speak to each other. Their other son was mishandled at birth, suffered oxygen deprivation, survived severely mentally handicapped, and has the emotional development of about a 3 year old (he is now 38). He still lives at home (for now, anyway), but cannot fend for himself. He has found day work in an agrarian project outside of Berlin for people with similar mental handicaps, but no physical ones.
His wife has now been battling cancer for couple of years. She has had numerous operations and treatments. It has now spread to her liver, lungs and brain, and she told us flat out yesterday that it was probably the last time we'd see her alive. She is barely able to handle the handicapped son, but that is about to end.
My friend has been taking all this with tremendous courage, trying to manage the issues of his three family members as best he can, juggling it all with his new job, which is doing security work for the Jewish community in Berlin. But it has to be taking its toll. He is nearly 70 now, although in decent shape, considering.
Whatever I may have to contend with, it is NOTHING like what my friend in Berlin has been dealing with for many years now. There is a very good reason I never make light of people who say they got the short end of the stick, or tell people I don't have it so good, when I know I kind of do. You don't have to be a gazillionaire to have it good. Having it good can also simply mean NOT having a lot of horrible stuff.
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Omigod. Your friend has lived under these onerous conditions for so much of his life.........my heart goes out to all of his family.
I hope he will reach out for some help. He surely could use it, as could his sons.
Perspective is sometimes a tough lesson.
I do hope you and your lovely family are doing well. One day I'll get the money and courage to come visit you! All the best to you, my friend! 
