Help me de-stress, pretty please?

[Neoma]

I need to laugh, can anyone give me that? It would be very kind, and for a good cause! Well...in that it'd make me laugh. I like dry, dead pan, sarcasm, and dark humor. But anything other than that is welcome too.

[OriginalGeek]

1. A guy walks into a bar...

I bet THAT fuckin hurt!







OG - He's my anti-jokes.

[Neoma]

5. *giggles*

[derby378]

2. This usually helps me

[UTUSN]

3. & you're asking for *this* in the DU *Lounge*?!1

This is all I will have for the foreseeable future:

For the ‘12 Mittens duration, I am submitting this angry cocker spaniel for use as the representative of all dogs. This pic was in the local paper's Sunday available-for-adoption a few years ago. He was taken by the time I called. He is thoroughly pissed, not, I hope, the reason he ended up in the shelter, but rather for being subjected to the indignity of doggie jail.

[derby378]

4. There's also this, if you need something with "extra cute"

&feature=fvwrel

[MrsBrady]

6. this never gets old for me

if you haven't seen it, you should take the time to watch the entire episode.
This is a good standard, something you can re-watch every now and then.

Make sure to go to the bathroom before watching. This is pee-your-pants funny.
You've been warned! LOL

[riderinthestorm]

7. I think I'll take up jet-skiing!! LOL!! this is genius! I needed that laugh... nt

[progressoid]

10. I had to pause half way through!

[nadine_mn]

11. I thought I had seen every episode of Who's Line... and yet I missed this!

Oh I loved it!!

man I miss that show!

[HopeHoops]

8. A priest, a minister, and a rabbi were out on a walk when they found a pot of gold.

The priest said, "We'll draw a circle, throw it in the all in the air, and whatever lands outside the circle we'll keep and give the rest to God."

The minister said, "We'll draw the circle, but whatever lands IN the circle we'll give to God and keep the rest."

The rabbi said, "Forget the circle. We'll throw it in the air and whatever God wants he can keep."

[Chan790]

9. Have you ever read The Oatmeal comics?

They're chock full of dry, dead-pan sarcasm; they are also intellectually-stimulating.





http://theoatmeal.com/comics/kitty_pet

[nadine_mn]

12. Whenever I need to laugh I watch the Winnebago Man

something so wonderful about the sheer proliferation of swear words and anger make me feel that my day has got to be better

[WhoIsNumberNone]

13. I never get tired of this one...

[WhoIsNumberNone]

14. What do strippers do with their assholes on their way to work?

Drop them off at band practice.