Is there any way to train cats to stop licking themselves?

Make in into family bath time

Dogs aren't much better.

I am too lazy for a dog, I would hate the walking.

to let them be what they are.

They are treated fine, fed and cleaned. "Let them be" is far too vague. If I "let them be" and didn't have a pet gate in my living room, I wouldn't have much of a couch left. I did not and will not declaw them, I don't believe in it.

Read my OP. "Love" is there.

There are different kinds and some cats have a preference for one type more than another. It is all a matter of redirecting them from destructive behavior.

No big deal, the pet gate keeps them out of the living room. No cat hair on the couches too.

We were talking about licking and grooming.

None of mine are declawed. They've got a huge cat castle in the corner and they're perfectly happy to claw that. My furniture is unscathed even though they have to jump over the couch to get to it.

Cats lick themselves. If you don't like that, you don't like cats. I don't think you should have cats.

It's like asking what you can do to stop them from having ears, tails, meowing, etc.

I really like cars, but I don't like how the wheels keep turning in circles when I drive. Is there a way to stop that?

Awful analogy.

I can't think of another analogy, because the question you've asked isn't sound. It's like, "I like the sun, but I don't like how it puts out heat. Is there a way to stop that?" What bothers you about cats is that they're cats. If wheels turning bothered me, I wouldn't like cars, would I?

My cats are my love. Big deal if there's one thing I would change. I don't like my wife's taste in sports, doesn't mean I don't love her.

If what you would change about cats - an entire species - is something intrinsic to that species, you basically don't like them. If you didn't like that one of your cats preferred a certain toy to another, that would be a sound analogy to your wife's taste in sports.

To bring your wife into it, it's like if you said, "I like my wife apart from her female genitalia. Is there any way to change that?" At that point, I would tell you that you probably weren't interested in women. If you said, "I like my wife apart from her largely bilateral symmetry. Is there any way to change that?" I'd suggest that you don't like an entire clade of the animal kingdom.

wife because she's female. It's part of who and what she is (unlike her taste in sports). Cats are biologically set to lick. It is what they do, and must do. It is partly what makes a cat, a cat.

Focus on what they do NOT do that dogs do, and maybe you'll be happier. They don't chew things up, kill people, bark, chase squirrels, pull on their leashes, jump up on you when you walk in the door, bark some more, start destroying things when it thunders, etc., etc.

When your cat stops licking, rush her to the vet. There's something wrong. Seriously.

My reference is to the so-called "bad" or annoying things that pets do. Dogs bark!!!! That's one of the things that makes them dogs. I love my doggies!!!!

I know you are not a dog hater!

Various ones of mine chew newspapers, try to trip me so I fall downstairs and break my neck, meow when they don't think they're being fed enough (ie. constantly), chase anything that moves (including stuff nobody else can see), destroy leashes, jump up and meow when I walk in the door and go completely batshit when in thunders.

all of which have an evolutionary basis. They do it because it keeps their fur clean, smooth and free of burrs and parasites; it helps keep the cat cool in hot weather (they can't sweat except on their paw pads); it helps their fur stay waterproof; and in cold weather it fluffs up the fur to help the cat retain heat.

You don't want your cats to stop licking themselves; if they did, they'd soon become smelly and their fur would be sticky and dirty. They'd be miserably hot in the summer and cold in the winter and would probably get sick. You can't keep them clean in the same way - their saliva has a surfactant cleaning quality you can't duplicate. You can't keep them cool or warm, or free of parasites. Nature has given them that ability and they have to use it.

If your cats are licking themselves so much that they are developing bald spots, that's probably an indication of an allergy, which can usually be treated with cortisone injections. But normal licking is something cats have to do to stay clean and healthy. You will have to live with it if you want healthy cats as pets.

feels so nice to stroke.
Of course, right after I pet him, he often insults me by re-washing that spot.
As if my hands don't meet his cleanliness standards!

He is washing off your human stench.

he waits until I'm done (I do think he likes the strokes), gives me a look, and starts the clean up.

and developed really bad mats (like dreadlocks) all over.

I changed his food, and one of the first signs of recovery was that he started grooming again.

Grooming is what cats do. Either deal with it or don't have cats.

She's had the shots, she's had a change in food, yet she continues to lick herself to the point of bloody, raw, furless skin. I do an inspection of her every so often, and she seems to be licking mainly around her nipples (they look sore) and underneath her legs (her armpits, to do a human comparison). Other than a slight heart murmur, she's in good health otherwise (with maybe the exception of her skin).

My son thinks it could be that she licks herself out of boredom. Dunno. Another theory is that she was a street cat who lived near a river before I adopted her, so God knows what could have gotten into her from that cesspool.

The next step is steroid treatment, which we're not too keen on doing because there is a risk of her developing diabetes. But we may have to if this keeps up. We've been lucky so far that nothing's become infected.

This puzzles and worries me.

Years ago I had a cat who licked the fur off a large patch of belly skin, which got raw and inflamed. Cortisone (steroid) finally took care of it. I've been told that excessive licking is often the result of an allergy, then the cat makes it worse by licking and irritating the skin even more, which makes him keep licking, and the cycle continues. The vet said the only way to break the cycle is to stop the skin from itching in the first place, which often does require cortisone or other steroid treatments. In my cat's case it took only one shot, and he had to wear the Collar of Shame for a bit, but he stopped licking and the fur grew back. He did not become diabetic, and in fact lived to the ripe old age of 21.

I'm sure your poor cat is pretty itchy and uncomfortable, so you might have to go the steroid route.

out of boredom (not an allergy) need to be played with more often to get rid of excess energy. Do you have one of those wands with the feather on it? You could try that for ten minutes a day and see if it helps.

One of my cats is licking himself raw from a flea allergy. I take him in for the steroid shots, but have been trying something more natural because I worry about him being on steroids for ever. We started playing with a cat toy everyday and it helped also.

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If you don't want a pet that licks, stick to rabbits or something.

It is part of why your cat is clean...it is something that nature tells her to do. She can't resist it. And you wouldn't want her to. Her coat would begin to look shabby and unhealthy. They MUST lick themselves. It is part of what it means to be a cat.

I can't recall ever having heard my cat lick anything but I see her licking all the time.

I do not understand why on earth you would want this. I would rather he was a slurper than have to keep wiping him with my washcloths....

a pet peeve of cat ownership???
wait, you aren't really serious, right?

Either your "cats" are Bengal tigers or you have remarkably sensitive hearing, more like that of a dog than that of a human.

heard him washing even when he's doing it two feet from me.

Maybe I'm blessed with a crappy super-power.

I heard one about a minute ago, and he was a good 15-20 feet away. This is why I hate the (almost) Fall. Too cold for the a/c and too hot for the portable heater, so the house is too quiet.

They'll stop licking themselves and start licking you instead.

because it's funny as hell

If not- you seem to have some issues and know nothing of our feline overlords.

Cats can be over-groomed - licking to the point it seems a compulsion. This is caused by stress. New house? New family member, be it 2 legged or 4 legged? Are/were you stressed ? Because you could have been the cause.

Since cats will lick themselves to reduce stress/calm themselves, a stressful time would cause them to lick more. The extra self-soothing doesn't always stop when the stress clears up, as it has now become a habit.

Problem is, each time you attempt to stop them from licking, you stress them out more...so they lick more. You are now contributing to the problem.

Stop scolding them for licking. Stop reacting to the licking.

Make sure they have toys, love, food and a stable environment. Achieve this through routine. Eat at the same time each day, etc..

Also, you could be drying their skin out with the shampoo you use on them. Ever consider that? They would lick at the irritation.

Cats know exactly how clean they should be. Far better than their owners.

Cats lick. You will NEVER stop them from doing so. It's part of their make-up.

Relaxing yourself will go a long way to relaxing your cats.

Really pisses them off.

and says "Boy, I wish I could do that!"

The bartender says, "You should probably pet him first."

is there anyway to stop the sun from rising in the east tomorrow?

I normally don't mind the cleaning, except when they decide to clean their asshole on the pillow. Then I get mad. Normally they just wait for company and do it in the middle of the living room. Carlin did a skit like that, something about "you've got the little doilies out and are involved in idle chatter and you look over and THE DOG IS LICKING HIS BALLS!"

You can't keep a cat from grooming. Period. They groom each other. They groom their humans. They're just licking machines. And no matter how clean you keep them, they'll still lick. It's a cat thing. Even the big cats do it.

My advice - DEAL WITH IT! It's part of the deal when you own cats. What's WORSE is when they get to the age where they quit trying. My big boy is 15 and used to keep his substantial acreage of white areas glowing white. Now he just bathes his face and front paws. He's sort of gotten to the "fuck it, I just want to eat, sleep, and poop" stage.

As a kid, I had a white/orange cat with a tabby sister. She always bathed him and he never bothered. After she died (early), he had no clue what grooming meant. You know the character "Pig Pen" from "Peanuts"? I didn't know a cat could GET that filthy. If you petted him, he sent out a cloud of dust a foot in diameter. This was also a cat that would shred you so badly you looked like something out of a Freddie Kruger movie if you tried to bathe him. Consider yourself lucky.