True Blood Recap - it's the 'Ice your clam!' issue
Last edited Mon Aug 13, 2012, 12:13 PM - Edit history (1)
I dont know about you but I would 
for True Blood to spinoff into the Pam & Tara show (with Ginger as their faithful sidekick). Those 2 together make screen magic and I can't believe it took 5 years to hook up one of the 2 best couples ever on True Blood (the other we'll talk about later). Pam is a survivalist to the core, ever since she was a human and she slit her wrists in order to force Eric to convert her to a Vampire. So for Pam, dealing with the new asshole sheriff Elijiah, she's gonna do what it takes to survive and it's nice to see that includes bringing Tara with her.
But the best part was when Tara decided to not put up with Elijah's shit. Realizing that Elijah was going to change Fangtasia into some preverse peepshow bloodsuck degradation shit, Tara does what Tara does best - get her ass out of a jam. Tara and Pam were told that they need to create 30 new vampires in the district else Elijah would take all of Pam's possessions including Tara. Tara knows that her best bet to survive as a vampire is to stick with Pam so she has Ginger fake death and Tara does her best old southern plantation accent to get Elijah to see what went wrong. Of course he quotes off the 'Ice Your Clam', which I have to love and then Tara does this....
At least Tara learned from the last time she tried killing a vampire (Franklin) that simply bashing in the head is not enough! Although Pam seemed a bit peeved Tara reminded her that 'This is our house and no one fucks us in here'. We'll see how long that lasts.
Probably one of the saddest moments ever was the goodbye from Hoyt. I'm not sure if Hoyt is being written off the show or what but he had one final chat with his oldest friend (Jason) and his first love (Jessica) - both who broke his heart by having sex together. Hoyt told them that he would be leaving Bon Temps to make his mark at the oil fields in Alaska but asked for one final gift. He asked that Jessica glamour him so that he could finally get all that hurt out of his heart - he wanted Jessica to make him forget her. But what was even sadder was that he asked that she do the same with Jason - he wanted to forget that either of them ever existed in his life. It was such a touching moment at what use to be this wonderful couple (Remember season #2 when Jessica and Hoyt first fell in love?) to finally come to this but watching Jason almost cry had me crying. Jason seemed very hurt over this and it was so sad to see Jason pull over Hoyt and Hoyt act like he didn't even know who he was.
The interesting this is this - is Hoyt really leaving the show? If he is this was the perfect send off for him but he ws driving at night, which isn't the smartest thing to do when Vampires are out there hungry for something since the True Blood Factories have been bombed. We shall see.
I was starting to think that this whole Authority storyline was getting to the point of no return. I'm getting a bit annoyed at all this religious crazy talk and I can't believe they are making Bill out to be such a douchebag. You could see how uncomfortable Jessica was when Bill asked her to read the Vampire Bible. Jessica came from a fundamentalist family and I think she was glad to be turned vampire so she wouldn't have to put up with this bullshit yet there it was again but in vampire form.
So once again we had another Lilith blood drinking as Nora tries to convince Eric to accept Lilith as God and join their cause. I have to confess that any chance to have Godric reappear is a good episode but in the end Lilith ripped out Godrics throat and had him killed. Thing is this - I thought Godric was getting close to convincing Nora that all of this is bullshit but noooooooo we had to have Lilith show up and ruin it for all of us.
The only bright side out of the whole storyline, of course, is the other best TB couple and that's Russell and Steve. How romantic was that to see Russell and Steve slow dancing amongst the corpses at the fraternity house. You can tell that Russell is smitten and I keep asking myself is there ANY way we can spare these 2 for one more season of TB!! I know there is going to be a bloodbath at the end of the season but please, let Russell and Steve stick around so we can have more of this amazing pair.
Steve was just adorable when he was dealing with his wolf puppy in human form. Steve really only wants a puppy but Emma was back in girl form yet Steve reprimanded her like she was still a puppy. Seems Luna and Sam found their way into the Authority to rescue Luna's daughter so that means in the final showdown we'll have Luna and Sam involved in this battle.
Sookie started off strong in the episode although that called for the end of Mike Spencer the coroner. While unpacking her chinese dinner Mike Spencer came knocking on the door. Turns out someone turned Mike into a vampire and he decided he was going to do something about his toe-sucking obsession of Sookie - like Sheriff Andy said - thank goodness she didn't order Pizza. But after that, without any grown-up wolves or Terry/Arlene, Sookie became the boring storyline we could care less about this week. So it turns out her great-great-great-great-great-great (maybe a few more there) grandfather promised the first fae offspring to some M. Warlow (it was M, not V). We we know M is not Elijah and now I'm doubting it's that creepy vampire who likes kiddy blood. The date the pact was written was before Bill's time so that means there is some vampire we haven't met, don't know and don't care that has a claim on Sookie - who cares. Sookie is at her best when she's battling with Eric or Bill - let's get her in the Authority Battle where she can shine again. And bring a few Faes along so we can have a real nice lightshow during the final battle.
As for the rest of the show - no Arlene/Terry this week AMEN! Not much of Lafayette either although that was a nice scene with Sam and Lafayette chasing out those 2 humans who wanted to kill Jessica when she walked into Merlottes. I hope they find a way to bring Lafayette along to the final battle. Nice romantic scene with Holly and Andy except it seems that Faery Fuck Andy had at what I thought was a few weeks ago turns out she's 8 months pregnant. Either a few months have passed this season without my knowledge or faeries have shorter delivery times than humans
If you like the animated gif please check out the rest of them at Joe DeAngelis's weekly True Blood Review (which is way better than mine) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joey-deangelis/true-blood-recap-fading-a_b_1772106.html
BTW Molly it was nice knowing you!
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When Pam was talking about their future in the wind, Tara had a wistful eye as she looked around Fangtasia and I think Tara had also told blondie/highschool/bitch that the bar was hers. Was it then? At any rate, it seemed to me that Tara considers the bar her home and she desires a secure home.
And you are so right, Tara does not want to be owned by a male, especially a tacky-ass one like Elijah. That ruse with Ginger was so exciting, loved it! 
