Nance Greggs: Make Room at the Kiddie Table this Thanksgiving

Look, I like kids as much as the next gal. I raised two – and survived. They can be cute, disarming, and have a penchant for saying the darndest things. But when they get to be adults and are still acting like children, it’s time to seat them at the Kiddie Table where they can spout their immature ramblings without interference, leaving the adults free to engage in more serious discussion over turkey with all the fixin’s.

The honor of being seated at the head of America’s Kiddie Table this Thanksgiving undoubtedly goes to Mitt Romney. After insulting those who cooked the turkey (or his goose during the election, as the case may be), he will regale the attendant youngsters with tales about how he could have been president, were it not for all of those unfair grown-ups who insisted on facts rather than his fictions, and voted accordingly.

He will also remind the other kiddies that if they find healthcare reform under the Christmas tree next month, it is not a matter of legislation meant to benefit all Americans, but is merely another “gift” to the undeserving 47% who voted for the guy who is willing to cram all of that “free stuff” into their stockings.

The next Kiddie Table honoree to be seated is John McCain, always welcome among his fellow foot-stomping non-adults who enjoy throwing temper tantrums at the holiday dinner table – and pretty much everywhere else. Despite a propensity to chase kids off his lawn on a regular basis, McCain will undoubtedly be revered by those same kids for having the balls to up-end the Candyland board at the end of the evening when he realizes that the game is not going his way...