Fowl Play: Saying Goodbye to 'Duck Dynasty,' TV's Worst Show
These days it's tough to find reasons to be cheerful about the state of the nation – but an America without Duck Dynasty is a good place to start. No show in television history has ever sucked quite like this one. And if the TV gods are willing, no show ever will.
A&E's massive hit became a cultural presence in 2012 for its down-home charm – the zany adventures of a real-life Lousiana clan who kept their country manners and backwoods habits, with Phil, Miss Kay, their bearded sons and loopy Vietnam vet Uncle Si. Tonight, after five seasons of shenanigans running the family duck-call business, the Robertsons sign off tonight with their series finale, the last gasp of their barely noticed farewell go-round. The decline and fall of Duck Dynasty seems like it should have been a big-deal event, but it's a surprisingly meek exit for a hit that loomed so large just a couple of years ago. This is the way the dynasty ends – not with a quack but with a whimper.
It's poetic justice that 2017 is the year the Robertson family is finally heading off to the duck pond in the sky. The show represented the pre-Trump Christian right's fantasy of itself – a family of hairy but God-fearing bootstrappers bowing their heads in prayer over the dinner table. Just a year ago, this was the most feared demographic in American politics – the bloc that couldn't be bought or sold. But when the Christian right fell in line behind the most flamboyantly secular presidential candidate of the past century – a pussy-grabbing New Yorker who didn't pretend to owe Jesus a damn thing – they sold themselves out, ensuring it'll be a cold day in heck before they get another chance to vote for one of their own. The right is a whole new bird hunt now, as the godless white nationalists take over from the church ladies. And that makes Duck Dynasty look pitifully dated, in addition to everything else that blows about it.
The Robertsons weren't even fun to watch on a reality-trash level, because they were too phony to believe – so artificial in their micro-scripted dialogue, so cynical in their piety, so bone-headed in their recycled sitcom plots. Hell, even their beards looked fake. So their family values always came across as a made-for-TV shuck; however sincere they may or may not have been in real life, the Robertsons never failed to turn into show-biz frauds onscreen. In one episode, Miss Kay confides that Phil never remembers their wedding anniversary – the only dates he can remember are Christmas and Easter. Aaaaawww.
http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/fowl-play-rob-sheffield-on-the-end-of-duck-dynasty-w473591
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RIP to HST, and where are you, Oscar?
Although that racist "The First 48" didn't help ... where, who knew, 95% of murders are committed by non-whites. 
Gather the soothsayers. We need to talk.
Conservatives thrive on stupid bullshit, and you can't get much stupider than that. 
Like Bush stopped "clearing brush" on his "ranch"
But it's being replaced with the "Catch me outside, how about that" girl. If you think I'm kidding, look it. And Mama June is back on TV as well. There's no end to reality TV horseshit. Oh and fuck Duck Dynasty! 
There are miracles. Finally. 
.. they LIE right to his face.
That was a few years ago before we gave up on satellite TV. Myself and a lot of my friends were antique and collectible dealers (and some were 'pickers' as well) on eBay so we found the show rather interesting.
As for the rest... IDK. I've only seen the Duck Dynasty crap for sale in Wal-Mart and heard them on some news shows once or twice. They're certainly not at all my cup of tea so to speak but up here in red dumbnuts NY their stuff was being worn quite a bit.
Seriously, when the show was in its first season and everyone was talking about it, I honestly thought they had brought these guys back:
Which would be an awesome idea. Imagine my crushing disappointment when I found out what it really was.
