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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI did not order the shit sandwich at this restaurant.
I was with a bunch of people who wanted to try out this new restaurant. They said it was the best; you could get the best food there and we would really love it. Well, I'd heard they weren't that great, and I said so, but they all said no, no, it will be great! You have to come! So we get to the restaurant and the head waiter, a fat orange guy with a combover, hands us menus and there's prime rib and lobster and all kinds of other enticing dishes, and they're all really cheap! So we all order the prime rib.
Pretty soon the waiter comes back and sets our plates in front of us. And on each plate is a shit sandwich. Nothing else, not even a pickle or a sprig of parsley. And this one guy in our party, the guy in the red baseball cap who wanted so badly to come to this restaurant, says, Hey, what's this? We ordered the prime rib? And the fat orange waiter just laughs and says, Oh, that's only available in the private dining room upstairs. Everybody else gets shit sandwiches.
So everybody's really pissed and bewildered. I'm pissed too, but I already knew I'd get a shit sandwich, and I said, See, I told you so. Shit sandwiches for everybody.
Nevertheless, knowing that everybody else got one too didn't make mine taste any better.
elmac
(4,642 posts)Missn-Hitch
(1,383 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Fast Walker 52
(7,723 posts)those were the days when we could laugh at the inanities.
uponit7771
(90,339 posts)Schmice2
(20 posts)...the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.
Fast Walker 52
(7,723 posts)3catwoman3
(23,985 posts)Well played!
Chakaconcarne
(2,451 posts)No, but maybe everyone will remember and not ever go back.
NRaleighLiberal
(60,014 posts)emperor has no clothes - and you were the only one to see (taste!) it.
Dave Starsky
(5,914 posts)Retching throughout and vomiting twice. He gets salmonella and E. Coli from it. Next week, he wants to go back again!
lpbk2713
(42,757 posts)I'll FedEx it to Faux Snooze.
ProudProgressiveNow
(6,129 posts)KamaAina
(78,249 posts)Der Fuhrer was the giant douche.
Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)TeamPooka
(24,226 posts)progressoid
(49,990 posts)SeattleVet
(5,477 posts)Saviolo
(3,282 posts)Ilsa
(61,695 posts)The menu said, "Defecated prime rib with lobster in liquid feces" but they didn't bother to look up those words. If the customers had been more discerning, then the rest of the community wouldn't have gotten sick watching them leave the restaurant spewing vomitus. They not only made themselves ill, but everyone else not dining there!
The chef had served shit sandwiches to diners the day before, too. Today's customers didn't bother to assign value to xomplaints of previous patrons.
Dave Starsky
(5,914 posts)Looks like we got a "reader" here, folks! Readin' that menu... I don't need to read no menu to know what I want!
Mr. Ected
(9,670 posts)But it was delivered to my table by a private server, and was therefore inferior to the shit sandwich.
baldguy
(36,649 posts)Jacob Boehme
(789 posts).....who spends his days poking his cane in the air at imaginary hoodlums and shouting profanities to no one in particular.
Yet, somehow, if you follow the GOP line of reason, were suppose to trust their delusional rants and hand over our proverbial family cow for their latest handful of magic beans and everything will work out just fine.
Yeah, well I see their lips moving, so we all know what that really means.