America can’t eat its way out of this massive cheese problem

[Recursion]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/america-cant-eat-its-way-out-of-this-massive-cheese-problem/2016/05/25/976e96c4-228a-11e6-9e7f-57890b612299_story.html

As if we didn’t have enough to worry about already, here comes a new issue: The Great Cheese Glut of 2016. The Wall Street Journal reports that as of March 31, 1.19 billion pounds had accumulated in commercial cold-storage freezers across the United States, the largest stockpile ever.

...

Thanks, Obama! Just kidding. It’s more like “Thanks, Putin.” In August 2014, he banned European Union agricultural imports as payback for E.U. sanctions punishing Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Putin struck just as the European Union was ending dairy production limits, so the loss of the Russian market was doubly painful to E.U. producers — and rendered them desperate for markets elsewhere. Throw in a stronger dollar due to Federal Reserve policy (thanks, Janet Yellen) — et voila! — U.S. cheese imports are rising.

...

What is to be done? We could try to eat through the problem. You laugh, but the current level of per capita cheese consumption in the United States is 64 percent higher than it was in 1975, due partly to a richer society’s growing taste for richer foods. In the short run, consumption might go up a bit, since the glut is making cheese cheaper.

What’s more, the U.S. government has a long-standing pro-cheese-eating policy, which grew out of the need to do something with the subsidized excess of milk products generated by federal pro-production dairy policy — which, in turn, has persisted for decades despite declining consumer interest in drinking milk.

[Raster]

1. Nachos for America!

[Recursion]

2. Make America grate again!

[Raster]

3. Cheeses saves!

[Hoppy]

18. This one is my favorite.

[Raster]

19. Gouda Bless America!

[Retrograde]

32. What a friend we have in cheeses!

[appal_jack]

35. These sentiments melt my heart and get me all gooey. nt

[Todays_Illusion]

41. Thank the fondue pot for that.

[Socal31]

44. !!

But wait, it gets feta!

[w0nderer]

48. american swiss, holier than thou n/t

[Socal31]

50. Definately not a cottage industry.

[pinboy3niner]

59. Too many small startups soon fail, have to cheddar their doors

[betsuni]

62. Difficult to expand the business and Gruyere after year.

[pinboy3niner]

81. Even for you, that's Extra Sharp

[Socal31]

45. Ugh.

I'm sick of the Parmesan politics.

[betsuni]

63. And wedge issues.

[pinboy3niner]

65. Wheel have to rennet up the flagpole

[betsuni]

66. Business as usual, no use Stilton at windmills.

[pinboy3niner]

71. I am a man of La Mancha, still full of pepper, Jack!

[underpants]

94. That gave me haverti laugh

[pinboy3niner]

4. No whey!

[cyberswede]

5. This is gouda news!

[braddy]

6. If we unite and spread the burden among us, I vow to do my part.

[pinboy3niner]

8. I curd get down with that

[Recursion]

9. There's a Putin/Poutine pun here somewhere

Need some help

[appal_jack]

37. There's some fun-due for all of us.

Bad fondue pun?

-app

[underpants]

95. You orda brös could, oka?

[sarcasmo]

7. Cheese curds for everyone.

[AgingAmerican]

10. That's what, three lbs per person?

Should take America about a month to eat it, problem solved!

[pinboy3niner]

79. Easy peasy cheesy, any way you slice it

[JVS]

89. It's time for the Summer of George to be observed nationally

[laundry_queen]

11. Please

send it to Canada. Our cheese is like 3 times the price, LOL. We could use some foreign charity cheese

[Recursion]

12. All the more reason I need to find the Putin/poutine pun lurking here

This is going to drive me crazy.

[pinboy3niner]

13. Don't let it make you bleu

[pkdu]

38. Poutine on the "Ritz"

[nationalize the fed]

57. .

v

[underpants]

93. I'm adelost to comment

[pinboy3niner]

17. We can ship it North in our Muenster trucks

We'll do it after the Tractor Pull on Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

[laundry_queen]

20. That should be a Brie-ze. nt

[pinboy3niner]

21. It's practically a Feta complis

[laundry_queen]

23. ...

[pinboy3niner]

25. !!!

[betsuni]

67. But those trucks are so noisy, they'd cause quite a Raclette!

[Texasgal]

14. That's NACHO Cheese! N/T

[BadgerKid]

85. No, it really is my cheese.

[Little Tich]

15. Cheesy... n/t

[maryellen99]

16. So that's why Trump has been so orange...nt

[roamer65]

22. Send it to food banks and soup kitchens. N/t

[Downwinder]

24. Been here before.

Put it in the commodities program for food banks like they did last time.

[Recursion]

26. I still remember that WIC cheese growing up

Though I understand they don't do physical baskets so much anymore.

[Downwinder]

30. We distributed tons of cheese then it

expanded to other items. Guess that was the origin of food banks. Part of my lost decades.

[glowing]

111. Omg, I loved that yellow block gov'mnt cheese.

I wouldn't eat any grilled cheese for years without out it. My great grandma got the cheese block, and sent it to my grandmas for "us kids". Then one of my babysitters had the cheese too... So, I begged for grilled cheese there as well.

I don't think you can get those wonderful yelled slabs of cheese anymore. Honest to God, if they sold it in the store, you would see a ton of people buying it out of nostalgia... Lol.

And none of those was all that long ago, historically. It was back in the 80's under Reagan and in VT.

[Initech]

27. Pizzas for everyone!!!

"What situation isn't improved by pizza?" - Deadpool

[pinboy3niner]

29. And cheezborger, cheezborger, cheezborger!

[raging moderate]

28. This is not a problem; it is an opportunity.

There are people starving somewhere. This cheese belongs to them. Find out where they are, and get this cheese into their hands.

[oldandhappy]

31. Refugees in Europe

[msongs]

33. our reward for welfare subsidies to products for which the human body has no need. congealed fat ugh

[appal_jack]

36. Speak for yourself: more cheese for me!

Both sides of my ancestry have been milking herd animals and making cheese for at least 10,000 years. Cheese is literally in my blood, and I'll keep it that way, thanks.

-app

[closeupready]

40. Preserved milk is not a 'fat'; it's a fatty protein, yes.

The body DOES need protein, and there are amino acids in dairy products which can NOT be synthesized by the human body, nor can they be found in a vegan diet.

[GaYellowDawg]

96. You're wrong about the amino acids.

I'll preface this by saying that I'm pretty much a meatatarian. I love meat. I don't consider something a meal without meat. And characterizing cheese as "congealed fat" is completely stupid. And false.

You're referring to essential amino acids when you talk about amino acids that can't be synthesized by the human body, but you're wrong about a vegan diet not being able to supply them. A vegan diet can supply all of the essential amino acids by combining different groups of vegetables, legumes, and grains. Depending on the brand and preparation, tofu can have all the essential amino acids. Same thing for quinoa.

I'm never going to be vegan because I can't stand most vegetables, and the very idea of kale or wheatgrass just about makes me want to throw up. I'm never going to give up cheeseburgers, and bacon, and hot wings. And soy milk tastes like you mowed grass and mixed it with milk. Disgusting. But even if it's completely not for me, veganism is definitely a viable lifestyle.

[closeupready]

107. Didn't know that, thanks for the correction.

Like you, I'm an enthusiastic carnivore, though I do enjoy veggies IF (and that's a big IF) they are done right - in season, cooked til tender, generously spiced...

[ohnoyoudidnt]

34. Is that a dare?

That sounds like a dare.

[Fuddnik]

39. Let my dogs in there.

They'll make short work of that cheese.

[Warpy]

42. You'd never know it at the local Sprouts

Domestic cheese is still expensive as hell and not even that "our cows have names and live in a setting fit for a calendar" cheeses, the non organic stuff is just as expensive. Some of it must be held off the market to keep those prices up.

[Recursion]

43. COGS is only a fraction of retail price

(Cost Of Goods Sold)

Transportation, labor, etc. haven't particularly gotten cheaper, so even if cheese itself is cheaper wholesale that won't always mean you'll notice it in the price tag.

[pinboy3niner]

76. It's Emmental, my dear Watson. nt

[Recursion]

77. Oh for Gouda's sake... (nt)

[pinboy3niner]

78. Seeing you're older now, I try to overlook curmudgeonliness coming fromage

[ReRe]

46. By all means, send it to the Food Banks

... but you know how picky they are about the food they accept. If they won't take it,

then send it to NYC to help them lure their rats into traps.

[Recursion]

47. It's like those PETA shelters when you try to adopt a pet

They have to send a social worker, a priest, a fire inspector, and a second social worker in case the first had a conflict of interest, along with a credit check, criminal history, and financial disclosure. I'm trying to adopt a dog you're about to euthanize, not asking for the launch codes.

[ReRe]

98. Don't get me started, Recusion.

I could sit here and rattle off one case after another all day long.
Seems like everyone is suspect now.

[Recursion]

104. Right?

Still infuriates me

[ReRe]

105. 30 years ago I said...

... "They're going to make criminals out of us all yet!" And they did.

[Feeling the Bern]

49. Send me a shitload. . .I'll make a dent in it!

Cheese is great!

[Spitfire of ATJ]

51. Someone had to do it....

[beveeheart]

109. Glad you did.

[Cheese Sandwich]

52. Yes We Can!

I'm confident

[betsuni]

53. Putin cut the cheese.

[JDPriestly]

54. Hurrah! This is great news.

I love cheese.

[pinboy3niner]

80. Teleme about it!

[Recursion]

91. At the end, sir, have you no dignity?

This was an epic pun thread, though...

[Silver_Witch]

55. Stop wining and pass the cheese!!!

[pinboy3niner]

74. Cheese without wining? I cheddar to think!

[underpants]

92. CHEESUS CHRIST! Stop it!

[marybourg]

56. This is almost as funny

as the fabric thread.

[surrealAmerican]

99. cheesecloth?

[Quantess]

58. Give it out to low-income / poor people

Easy as that!

Think it'll happen? No.

[Mother Of Four]

60. This colby a problem...

But I don't know jack.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

73. Maybe we could stash some in swiss banks.

That's a lot of cheddar we're talking about.

[surrealAmerican]

100. That plan is full of holes.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

108. I guess I'm not as sharp as I thought. nt

[cliffordu]

61. Just read this whole op....

I could be the first death by pun recorded at DU

[pinboy3niner]

64. In queso emergency, start IV cheese, stat!

[cliffordu]

68. HOW DID I ALREADY KNOW IT WOULD BE YOU

That put me over the edge......




How ya doing, friend?

[pinboy3niner]

70. As you can see, I'm still cheesy after all these years

Hope you're also hanging in there, brother. Tough weekend ahead...

[cliffordu]

72. Good to see ya again. Hang in there. Tuesday will be better.

[undergroundpanther]

69. ohh cheeze whiz

My cat just snorted that line of cheese

[pinboy3niner]

75. Wanna bet?

Some of the sale prices lately have been irresistable.

[underpants]

82. Look! I'm doing all I can!

[Recursion]

83. Pshaw. We have cheese to eat.

Have you eaten 39 pounds of cheese yet this year? No? Then you are still lacking.

[underpants]

97. I need to eat larger portions. I'll stop cutting the cheese.

[MowCowWhoHow III]

84. This is Roule serious!

[Starry Messenger]

86. This could Brie a real problem.

[Recursion]

87. OMG the puns are spreading

I give up

[Paulie]

88. A real problem. Well, as the French say,

Quel fromage!

[Deadshot]

90. I need to be provolone for a little bit. I'm a little bleu.

I should go listen to R & Brie to make myself feel better. We should pray to Cheesus.

I'll be edamned.

[tazkcmo]

101. Good job!

We all could use a bit of brevity and you've knocked it outta the park! Thank you for helping me start my day with several laughs and smiles!

I feel the funniest people are some of the smartest people and DU reflects this. So contributors, thank you too.

[LuckyTheDog]

102. I will do my part (nt)

[randome]

103. Now we know why Lil' Kim wants to bomb us.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Stop looking for heroes. BE one.[/center][/font][hr]

[Chan790]

106. Though, can't we eat our way out of this massive cheese problem?

[Odin2005]

110. Good European cheese that is cheap? This is good for all us cheese-lovers!

[hobbit709]

112. If there's such a glut why haven't the prices dropped.

Quality cheese is as expensive as ever.

[Recursion]

113. Because most of the cost of most food is transporting and shelving it (nt)